Comments on: A name to my pain

By: Vance Maverick

Vance Maverick — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 14:03:47 +0000

In trying to explain why I think Life is Beautiful is so bad, it's hard to know where to start. However, Theresa Nielsen-Hayden recently posted on an important explanatory concept; I think this movie is a classic instance of a Mary Sue.

By: mark

mark — Tue, 09 Dec 2003 01:06:02 +0000

I’m quite fond of “Lovecraft’s In the Mouth of Madness”, but then, I’m a sucker for any movie starring Sam Neill (we are talking about the same movie, right?). Of course, I’ve only seen it once, and I believe it was at the end of a week of High School jam-packed with assessments due, exams, and no sleep, so my critical judgement was probably not awake at the time. Good catch on “Waterworld”, whoever brought that up. I think we all tend to forget about it (thank God!). I’m kind of shocked that no-one has raised “The Patriot” yet. I mean, jeez, surely not even Americans could like such a steaming pile of crap? (I say “not even Americans” because the film would clearly be more offensive to British people than Americans, not because I think Americans have inherently bad taste.)

By: Dave F

Dave F — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 11:45:33 +0000

People who actually got suckered into seeing Titanic, Roadhouse, etc surely cannot be surprised at finding out they are ghastly. BTW, “Ghost” anyone? Patrick Swayze AND Whoopi Goldberg. A more useful list would be “top 10 arthouse and critics fave moves that suck the big one.”, which might help innocent bystanders avoid really subtle beartraps. I’ll post mine as soon as I get a chance. PS: Crooked Timber should do moe top 10s. The true purpose of the blogosphere.

By: Travis Eddings

Travis Eddings — Mon, 08 Dec 2003 05:59:45 +0000

The worst movie I have ever seen is probably “The Telephone” starring Whoopi Goldberg. Check that one out and see if you’re still able to function normally after it’s over.

By: pj

pj — Sun, 07 Dec 2003 21:18:55 +0000

Austin—you think “Bring it On” is the worst movie of all time? Its well above average for its genre, I’d say.

By: The Angry Clam

The Angry Clam — Sun, 07 Dec 2003 05:08:32 +0000

“Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL! I knew I was in for it when the director credit at the beginning said simply “Directed by Kaos.” My favorite part is a tossup between the “highspeed” motorcycle chase (at about 15 mph) or the generic bad guy footsoldiers (all of whom wear masks so that they can reuse the extras) getting blown up by C-4, falling over, then standing back up.

By: David

David — Sat, 06 Dec 2003 06:18:33 +0000

I was about to get all pissed off about Rollerball, but then I remembered that somebody made a remake.

By: Holly

Holly — Sat, 06 Dec 2003 00:54:53 +0000

Loren: Yes! Billy Jack is one of those movies so awful that I love to watch it – absolutely execrable. I love the hippie kids, and the dopey songs, and the dumbass consciouness raising play, and it’s all horrible. But let’s remember – when the movie first came out, people thought it was cool. Does anyone truly mourn the 70s and if so, why on earth? I think one Billy Jack negates all the cool auteur movies ever made in that decade. Trivia: I think one of the teenagers in the hippey commune went on to play the Native American officer on Star Trek Voyager.

By: Jesse Walker

Jesse Walker — Sat, 06 Dec 2003 00:24:22 +0000

Many of you have chosen movies I like. Many of you have chosen movies I dislike. Many of you have chosen movies I haven’t seen. Only one of you has chosen a movie that would without a doubt make my own Worst Ten list. Stepmom is wretched filth. I saw it on an airplane, and even by airplane standards, it is godawful. And yet, believe it or not, it isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen on an airplane. That would be The Other Sister. Watching that film is an experience comparable to eating dogshit.

By: loren

loren — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 23:08:58 +0000

oh, how could I forget? obvious candidates for the title of `truly astoundingly painful cinematic experience’: any of the “Billyjack” movies He was the Steven Segal of an earlier age.

By: Holly

Holly — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 21:28:01 +0000

I just saw Femme Fatale last night. It’s the only DePalma movie I’ve ever seen (I think) and it was boring, pretentious and stupid. Antonio didn’t even look hot. (I confess I didn’t finish it – I fell asleep.) I’m afraid Peter Coyote might have to be added to the Julian Sands Rule: if he’s in a picture, it sucks. And no, I didn’t think the early lesbo scence in the bathroom was all that hot either.

By: Girish Maiya

Girish Maiya — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 21:04:15 +0000

How, oh how, did you miss out on AI? I saw this Speilberg movie when it was first released in a theater and, till date, I cannot think of a worse movie. And it wasn’t bad like some movies are bad. For example, you knew Swim Fan would be bad after catching 10 seconds of the trailer – no this was “serious” bad. This movie weighed on you – if you didn’t see it, you could not be a movie lover – this was Kubrick! this was Spielberg! This was ART! Except it was crap.

By: Austin Stoneman

Austin Stoneman — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 20:57:48 +0000

My own pick for worst movie (that I’ve seen): “Bring It On,” a movie about cheerleaders which is just totally cliched and smug. And all the quick-cutting dance sequences! Just thinking about it nauseates me.

By: J Edgar

J Edgar — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 20:43:07 +0000

Sad to say, there are people who would dismiss Dr. Strangelove out of hand. They feel cheated by a movie made in black-and-white instead of color or colorized. Some also consider movies with subtitles a burden upon the viewer. For them, there is Titanic.

By: fdl

fdl — Fri, 05 Dec 2003 20:17:27 +0000

What about the Costner epics? my bottom 10 has Waterworld, and would have Postman if i’d been dumb enough to go.