Comments on: Seasonal fisking

By: Nabakov

Nabakov — Thu, 18 Dec 2003 07:09:21 +0000

Apparently the true cost of the 12 Days of Christmas – that is the 364 items listed in the carol – is $65,264 in 2003, up from 2002’s true cost of $54,951. This increase of nearly 19 percent shatters the previous record increase of 8.4 percent that was achieved in 1987. More at http://www.pncbank.com/12days/

By: Nabakov

Nabakov — Thu, 18 Dec 2003 04:39:28 +0000

“All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth” Free dental care! It’s the thin end of the Socialized Health Care wedge…which will inevitably lead to the breakdown of the family unit… “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.”

By: Katherine

Katherine — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 23:01:14 +0000

In the meadow we can build a snowman, And pretend that he’s Parson Brown He’ll say: Are you married? We’ll say: No man, But you can do the job When you’re in town. Will Massachusetts’ unelected, activist judiciary stop at nothing?

By: Katherine

Katherine — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 22:19:25 +0000

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . . three Freedom hens two turtle-objectively-pro-Saddamites and a partridge in a forest fire hazard.

By: Kieran Healy

Kieran Healy — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 22:14:30 +0000

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree. I think Bjorn Lomborg decisively refuted that environmentalist canard.

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 21:24:27 +0000

How about the cruel taxation policies (“Our finest gifts we bring/Ba rum pum pum pum/To lay before the king/Ba rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum”) endorsed in The Little Drummer Boy? Even children were forced to pay tribute. And finally, The Little Drummer Boy plays his drum for the king, exulting statist control even over the production of art. Disgusting. (It’s hardly surprising that the Drummer Boy is poor in such an economy. Perhaps after having successfully curried the favor of the unnamed “they” who escort him to the baby Jesus, he will eventually get a cushy bureaucratic position as a state government employee or the administrator in a teacher’s union, and go on to oppress another generation of Bethlehemians.) The ox and lamb, symbolizing nature, are said to “keep time,” as if nature would be in sympathy with such a display, and perhaps it is unintentionally apt that the timekeepers are dumb servile beasts of burden. Of course, such policies are directly contrary to man’s best nature, which can only be fully expressed if afforded the liberty it is due.

By: scott h.

scott h. — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 20:48:48 +0000

What about The Grinch Who Violated the Property Rights of the Whos? Or A Christmas Story of a Boy Who Wanted to Purchase a Gun? (I would’ve titled the post “We Fisk You a Merry X-mas”, but that’s just me.)

By: anon

anon — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 20:35:10 +0000

Now the left is encouraging affirmative action not just for its favourite minorities and special interests, but even for alchoholics? Typical conservative jumping to conclusions with insufficient data. The fact that Rudolph suffered from rosacea does not mean he was an alcoholic.

By: Grand Moff Texan

Grand Moff Texan — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 19:14:38 +0000

And now, for your listening pleasure, the Objectivist Monophony will perform “The Four Sights that changed Siddhartha’s life,” in self-centered asshole major.

By: dsquared

dsquared — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 17:15:15 +0000

“Oh come all ye faithful” Hello? Separation of Church and State? Anybody? Jeez.

By: Andrew Edwards

Andrew Edwards — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 16:35:58 +0000

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer / had a very shiny nose / and if you ever saw it / you would even say it glows / all of the other reindeer / used to laugh and call him names / they never let poor Rudoplh / join in any reindeer games. / Then one foggy Xmas eve / Santa came to say, / “Rudoplh with your nose so bright, / won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?” / Then how the reindeer loved him / as they shouted out with glee / “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, / You’ll go down in history!” Now the left is encouraging affirmative action not just for its favourite minorities and special interests, but even for alchoholics? Three key overtones surround this insiduous piece of letist propaganda: 1) Rudolph, by dint of his “difference” – and the “histoical slight” of not playing reindeer games – is entitled to special treatment – not only guiding the sleigh, but even ‘going down in history’. Typically, the left expects even to re-write history to make it suit their political aims. 2) Alchoholism, surely the most common cause of a “red nose” is endorsed and even attached to celebration. Just another example of the left’s insistence on ‘moral equivalence’, which is actually ‘promotion of immorality’. They bring an obviously immoral act and elevate it to an heroic stature. Do these liberals have any interest in judging what’s right? 3) Distortion of traditional values. As we all know, the Santa of tradition had no ‘red-nosed reindeer’. He had eight, all of whose names we know (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen). Who is this ‘Rudolph’? An imposter? No, sadly not. He is a product of a deliberate effort to re-write tradition in such a way as that it suits not the values of our forefathers, but an explicit liberal corruption of those values. And they sing this to children. To children! Disgusting.

By: Invisible Adjunct

Invisible Adjunct — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 16:34:44 +0000

Don we now our gay apparel, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. “Deck the Halls” is quite clearly an attack on the righteous and the godly: a manifest expression of the homosexual agenda which seeks to make over the wardrobes, grooming habits and decorating styles of straight guys living in Park Slope and the East Village.

By: Nick

Nick — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 15:20:44 +0000

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh… Typical enviro-wacko propaganda here – Note that no alternatives to travelling on the sleigh are considered (and who’s going to pick up all that horse manure afterwards, eh? I don’t see many longhairs volunteering for that duty!) and as for it being ‘fun’ the enviro-wackos are clearly trying to make children think that sitting in not just any sleigh, but an open sleigh (probably to commune with the atmosphere or some such nonsense) is preferable to cruising through the streets in a warm, comfortable SUV. And of course, the mentions to snow clearly prove that none of them really believe in global warming, or are trying to get all our kids to take cocaine, depending on who’s funding this research. (for the avoidance of doubt, these are not my real views)

By: dsquared

dsquared — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 14:22:01 +0000

The Ur-text for all of these is of course, Margaret Thatcher’s gloss on the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

By: bryan

bryan — Wed, 17 Dec 2003 13:59:25 +0000

“Grandma got run over by a reindeer…” is a typical example of liberal BushHate, this is something the guy did nearly twenty years ago, he’s already stated he probably wasn’t on anything very illegal, and he said in his speech last Christmas: “Americania are (sic) a beautiful, prosrouspous (sic) country because of our lots of Grandmas” which I think is a pretty damn moving apology. (sorry had to just take that song, as your various stories, lyrics, symbols and so forth was just sort of funny )