Comments on: Visas

By: Doug

Doug — Wed, 14 Jul 2004 10:51:29 +0000

Reuben – anecdotally, my worst immigration experience to date is with a British officer at Heathrow in ‘94. He beat out the East Germans who invited me into a small room to discuss the contents of my wallet (but who turned out to have a sense of humor in the end) and the Belarusians who were clearly angling for a bribe but couldn’t be bothered to be really unpleasant and picked on the Russian-speaking Cuban in my compartment instead. The representative of HM Government clearly thought that I had come to sponge off the welfare system, since I didn’t have an onward ticket (London is the discount travel capital of the world, hello, I should be buying my transatlantic ticket in Helsinki instead??) and planned to visit dodgy people like Aussies and Kiwis. I kept a civil tongue in my head and was allowed to sample the glories of London, which at that point included a complete lack of lodging because there was a train strike and everybody was staying put. As I was headed to the tube, an announcement came on saying that there was a fire in the terminal and no one was to move at all. “Is this normal?” I asked the Indian fellow who had been helping me find a place. “Oh yes, happens all the time.” I’m told the UK does get better than that.

By: Doug

Doug — Wed, 14 Jul 2004 10:49:31 +0000

By: Silly forms

Silly forms — Wed, 14 Jul 2004 02:17:59 +0000

The Visa Waiver Form I-94W (which you fill in while on the plane to the US) contains the following clear hint on how to answer the questions: Important: If you answered “Yes” to any of the above, please contact the American Embassy BEFORE you travel to the U.S. since you may be refused admission into the United States. So either invent timetravel and go back or just never answer yes. Besides if you don’t know what “moral turpitude” is you already have violated the terms of your visa waiver: I certify that i have read and understand all the questions and statements on this form. I think I’m not the only foriner that doesn’t know which crimes involve “moral turpitude”.

By: rea

rea — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 17:24:11 +0000

Philosophy has probably killed more people over the centuries than firearms, anyway . . . ;)

By: asg

asg — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 16:54:24 +0000

Hmm, “philosophical skills”… Clearly unAmerican. Yes, the dearth of good philosophy done in American philosophy departments is staggering, isn’t it? It’s really a wasteland. Hardly anyone of note teaches in the US any more.

By: Matt Weiner

Matt Weiner — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 16:19:45 +0000

BfromB: From an op-ed in the El Paso Times: INS has a track record of losing and misplacing documents filed by immigrants. Recently, INS found more than 2 million missing documents in a Missouri warehouse, including 200,000 change-of-address forms. With INS’ record, it is likely that immigrants who comply will be wrongfully punished.” That would be 200,000 forms that we know about, although I’m having trouble verifying this story through an independent news search (the relevant searches tend to turn up a lot of sites about how to get your green card). BTW: If you’re a non-citizen and you’re unsure about your immigration status, or maybe even if you aren’t, do not take any photographs that may include federal offices or bridges.

By: billyfrombelfast

billyfrombelfast — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 13:27:57 +0000

if you're screwed from receiving it Jesus.

By: billyfrombelfast

billyfrombelfast — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 13:25:30 +0000

Also, all resident aliens, please don’t forget to update DHS/USCIS when you move, since not doing so is also something to get thrown in the hole for. Also applies to non-residents (ie, H1-Bs like me). I can’t find the article now, but I read something the other day that quoted the amount of these change of address forms that have been lost. It was a horrifyingly high number. I also wonder how long it takes them to get from receiveing it to processing it/typing it in your file. And if your screwed if you travel in the interim. At least if they sent a little “we got it!” receipt we’d know with confiidence when stepping through immigration next time around.

By: LowLife

LowLife — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 11:36:57 +0000

Extensive philosophy skills could get you some time in naked people pyramids – either at Gitmo or at the annual staff party.

By: reuben

reuben — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 10:00:02 +0000

Nothing to do with specialist skills, but here’s an uncomfortable fact about a UK visa: The nearest UK equivalent to the US Green Card is known as Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR). This is the visa you need for regular residency in the UK, and the next step up is naturalisation. (NB: I have no idea how the process works for those who came over with work visas; this description concerns those who come over on a spousal visa.) There is no long-term alternative to the ILR; once you’ve got over the early hurdle (eg a spousal visa), the ILR is all there is (sans naturalisation). A quirk about the ILR: technically it expires any time you leave the country, and it’s up to the immigration officer you see upon your return to decide whether or not to “renew” it. So getting back in the country, even if you’ve been living here for years, isn’t guaranteed. Which means that when it’s 7am and an immigration official hasn’t had his second cup of tea yet and is feeling particularly petulant and wants to be a bit of a bully, the only thing to do is to put one’s tail between one’s legs and be a Very Good Boy Indeed until it’s over. Not the worst fate in the world, and I can understand the need for safety precautions, but it’s amazing how much fear re-entry can cause. After all, when one’s life and all that that entails is now in the UK, and one surly immigration official has the power to end that in the blink of an eye, and you know you don’t have the funds for a long legal battle… well, it’s not the most pleasant of situations. On the other hand, my experiences with British immigration officials have generally been quite positive (American “quite”, not British). Anecdotally at least, American immigration officials are far more prone to use their power to be jerks.

By: Piotr Berman

Piotr Berman — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 08:36:51 +0000

It reminds me a real story about a logician who failed the citizenship exam on the following question: “Do you believe in American Constitution?” Rather than answering in affirmative or negative, he tried to make sure that he understood the question correctly: “Do you want to know if I believe that American Constitution exists?” which displeased the examiner. However, upon reading the question very slowly, it seems to me that you were asked if you have “specialized” “skill or training” that include “firearms, …., or chemical” experience. To answer, ponder this: can a skill include an experience? I would say that a skill may result from experience, but it does not include it, so I would answer in the negative.

By: Dr Fake

Dr Fake — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 05:07:17 +0000

WSM: your comment is bizarre. Surely you are aware that documents like this are not written by one person, but filtered through a trillion commitees and executives, all full of people who might have gone to college many years ago but whose only CURRENT priority is to cover their asses, and to hell with it if the language in question ends up being ambiguous to the point of nonsense. The post in general: This kind of question makes me really, really mad. There are a few on every visa application I’ve ever seen, and there’s never a way to clarify what they mean (the closest you can get is a dubious “well, gee, I guess” ruling from some guy who has no real knowledge, no authority and who’ll forget all about your question in an hour). They are, as Matt says, basically traps. And do you know why governments write their visa forms this way? Because they can. Because the threat of not being permitted to enter the country is the ultimate stick. If you want to enter the country, you’ll just have to eat the shit they give you at the front door. It makes me furious. Why set up this hostile, confrontational relationship with every single person who asks to come inside?

By: bza

bza — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 04:12:50 +0000

I am always puzzled when academics point out poor writing by (I’m willing to bet) a college graduate: doesn’t that mean you and your colleagues aren’t doing your jobs? No, it means high-school teachers aren’t doing their jobs.

By: matt

matt — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 03:58:20 +0000

Just remember, the point of such questions isn’t to get you to tell the truth, but to allow for you to be thrown in a dark hole w/o councel for ages on end if it ever seems convenient for an “immigration violation”. Also, all resident aliens, please don’t forget to update DHS/USCIS when you move, since not doing so is also something to get thrown in the hole for.

By: Agent

Agent — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 03:06:45 +0000

Had great fun answering questions on my Visa application. “Have you ever committed espionage?” Fortunately it turns out that the legal definition of ‘espionage’ they use is against the US. So spying against commies does not count. Also they didn’t have the specialist skill question on my form which was rather helpful given that I have a degree in nuclear physics and have held an explosives manufacturing license.