“no other professor in Great Britain, he thought, set such store by being called Professor.”

I couldn’t get through all the comments—why is there so much unwillingness to just say “Wow, I’m sorry to hear that people are such sexist jerks to you.”

Instead the converstaion gets into how to call cashiers and what happens in norway and the south and there’s discussion about these silly side issues.

Sometimes people are just sexist jerks! And that’s interesting and blog-worthy. And I’m sorry to hear about your recent experiences, but thanks very much for bringing them up here.

1. I always have a handful of first-year students (disproportionately the product of Catholic schooling!) who call me Mrs. Davidson out of a sense of politeness. I’m not married, and that’s not my name, but if that’s what makes them comfortable, it’s fine for now, and they will soon pick up the more standard etiquette.

2. I am the product of Quaker education that made me deeply uncomfortable about either calling or being called Professor X. “Professor Davidson” sounds slightly over-the-top. I like the full name thing as a way around the whole Europe-US difference, junior-senior, etc. Yes, it’s slightly stilted, but receiving a professional e-mail (a request for a reader’s report on a manuscript, say) addressed “Dear Jenny Davidson” seems to me the most appropriate out of an awkward lot.

3. I am often mistaken for a graduate student, and once I had a long and interesting conversation with a group of Japanese music grad students at a party (we were all Columbia-affiliated); when (late in the conversation) they realized I was an assistant professor rather than a graduate student, they literally stepped back en masse and bowed. It was an interesting literalization of the kind of manners-shift you often experience when someone—it can be a grad student or a tenured faculty member—realizes they have mistaken your status & wants retroactively to adjust their manners.

I have had several different groups of students, both undergrad and grad, end up calling me “Professor Jenny”! Which seems to me endearing.

The most important thing here is to guard against our own gender biases. The thing I hate is seeing, say, a panel of distinguished speakers (a mix of male and female) and the moderator in the discussion period inadvertently referring to the female speakers by their first name and the male ones as Professor X. This again shows why the full name convention is so useful—if we get in the habit of using it, we are less likely to end up with an awkward revelation in public about our own mental categories.

Sorry to go on so long; you’ve really touched a nerve here.

Which opens up another problem, especially in emails:

“Hi Professor Lastname” (too informal?)
“Dear Firstname” (too intimate?)

Hi (or variations like Hey, Hiya) seems to be the most widespread among my students.

Does all this title stuff bother me? Sure. But I try to use it as a learning experience. I gently call students on their double standard. Most don’t realize it and so they see—at least for that moment—how culture has effected them. Maybe that’s enough – those quiet moments of showing that there’s another way.

On the other hand, perhaps Germans wonder at my troubles figuring out who gets “Sehr geehrter Herr Schmidt” and who gets “Lieber Herr Schmidt” in professional settings. Hmm.

When I became a graduate student, I (and all the other grad students) switched to addressing most faculty members by their first names. To me, at least, this emphasizes the collegial nature of the relationship between faculty and grad students (as opposed to the giver of knowledge/receiver of knowledge relationship between faculty and undergraduates).

In fact, the only professors I regularly addressed or referred to as “Dr. Lastname” were ones I didn’t like very much.

As a (male) teaching assistant, I’ve never provided my students any guidance on what to call me. I get addressed as “Professor” or “Professor Lastname” quite a lot, “Dr. Lastname” somnewhat less often, and very occasionally “Mr. Lastname” or Chris.

“Dear Crooked Timber, I never thought it would happen to me, but late at night while checking the stationary supplies I received an email …”

It could be particularly useful when writing business letters to women of whose marital status you are unaware. If opposing counsel in a case at law is Emily Smith, does a letter to her begin “Dear Miss Smith”? Or “Dear Mrs. Smith”? Or, neutrally, “Dear Ms. Smith”? It would be nice to have an established convention for this situation so that one could be sure of not unintentionally giving mortal insult . . .

I will admit, however, that possibly my favorite thing about having a Ph.D.—besides, of course, the groupies—is being able to answer questions like “Miss? Mrs?” with “Doctor.” It’s the only time I ever use the title.

And yes, male colleagues I know who are not PhDs are always referred to by students as “Dr.” or “Professor” but rarely the women.

But it’s pretty handy for telemarketers—I can say that the “Mrs …” isn’t here and be totally honest!

It’s frustrating…..