You are rude and selfish and a miserable excuse of a cinema goer.

But at home I have control over the volume—-I intend to still be able to hear when I’m sixty. I also control restroom cleanliness and security, at home, and have a pause button for when I need a break.

There are advantages to both. But the older I get the better I like home.

My objection to cinemas? They smell. Sorry.

Heck, the biggest irony is that most of the Academy’s voters watched the nominees on DVD at home.

Perhaps they did it in the comfort of their own screening rooms, but the fact that awards season is the best time of the year for, um, illicit digital copies of films still showing in the cinema is because the studios loan out ‘screener’ DVDs ‘for your consideration’. You think that the Hollywood types who choose the Oscar-winners actually queue up and pay their $10 for a ticket?

No please you stay home. You are rude and selfish and a miserable excuse of a cinema goer.

(Speaking as someone who goes to the theater a lot, but usually on, like, wednesday night at 10:00, and will if necessary change seats 5 times to get one as far as possible from neighbors, and yet who counts as some of my best moviegoing experiences my college’s film series, where you could count on a big audience responding freely to the movie with laughter and the like but without moronic commentary.)

Capital and staff costs will be way, way low. Even if this approach is no substitute for the big complexes for blockbusters, its a great solution for the dying arthouse and repertory cinemas.

And when enough people are sick of the fabulous experience of having their outing ruined by inconsiderate strangers and most of the theaters shut down for lack of demand, you won’t be there, either. Which makes me laugh.

But, from what I see, teenagers still love the movies. Because they go out to the movies, and their parents don’t come along.

The local art-house chain has taken to opening shops in abandoned multi-plexes in the suburbs. The parking lots are filled with white Buicks, and, when the interruption comes, it’s more likely to come from one part of a couple trying to whisper loudly enough to the other to be heard over the movie and through a hearing aid. But they seem to be doing well enough with that crowd, which, when they don’t have to meet with the teenagers (and the cell phones, etc., described in detail above), still likes to go to the movies on Saturday night.

Maybe, someday, I’ll be there as well. Until then, bigger and better at home. There’s even talk of a projection TV, with the hopes that the kids will want to have their friends at our place for a show. (Well, if it doesn’t work out—and it probably won’t, because the reason I’d like them at home is the reason they’ll want to leave—I suppose I’ll suffer through…)

Not unless the music was Pink Floyd, and there were lasers.

but one thing not touched on… the joy of going out for beers w/pals afterwards and talking about (trashing?) the film.
The home experience can be better—go to a friend’s house, watch the movie while drinking some beer, and trash the movie while drinking the rest of the beer without having to go anywhere else.

As to the future of theaters, sometimes I can’t help thinking about how the economics of the business killed the big bands, how the experience of leaving your home to go see live vaudeville was also irreplaceable, etc. That’s show biz.

Maybe if they brought back newsreels.

So I say: let’s all bombard Mark Cuban to get liquor licenses in his Landmark Chains && reduce seating there by 25% && serve better food && build bars/restaurants next door && include Museum style programming (Walker Art Center, where I am, is a good example)… and see if you can’t get something like a really cool indie environment that really maximizes both the pleasure of the experience & the ability of the theater to charge a premium.

As for the $100M+ megablockbuster… they’re all tied up in toy endorsements, etcetera—they’ll find a way to make ‘em even w/o many movie screens.
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BTW: What’s deal with Jarecki’s film doing so poorly at the box office? Anyone seen it? Haven’t had a chance yet with travel, but I’m stunned to see it’s only done something like $600K.

Although the movie selection tends to be electic, and probably is not a successful distribution model for Hollywood’s latest blockbuster.