In Cambridge there are “double sets” (usually two bedrooms off a shared lounge), but I can’t remember whether I ever heard the term ‘setmate’ used; I think it would usually be rephrased as ‘we share a set’. Sets, at least in my college, were the older rooms: more recently built (i.e. 60s) rooms were almost always single bedrooms, so the term is falling out of usage.

Not that we have such a concept here in the states, of course.

No one would ever expect that you are having sex with your roommate, at least not unless there was more evidence than your referring to him or her as “roommate.”

It occurs to me that “housemate” connotes a somewhat cooler relationship than “roommate”—that “roommates” are more likely to have known one another before rooming together (post-college), while “housemates” are the sort of people one picks up through the classifieds or who get thrown together at the whim of a landlord. But others may hear it differently.

The most common situations for use of the term roommate I have found is sharing hotel rooms for conferences and conventions.

Housemate, on the other hand, is used even when the residence is not a free standing house (and may be used inclusive of lovers, but does not carry that connotation). Flatmate is specific to apartments and a little more common.

I think you mean ‘without Man About The House’—which brings up another ambiguity, since Jo, Chrissy and Robin were flatmates.

Roommate still covers both semantic spaces, and it is be assumed from context (or left ambiguous) whether people actually share a room (common in dorms or large studios a la 38). What will always be assumed is that the partnership is not sexual or romantic, unless “roommate” is being used to hide (or facetiously pretend to hide) that relationship.

As 34/36 mention, it’s fairly common in gay culture (even in the post-stonewall generations, though i’d say it’s declining there) to use roomate in this latter way. Tone or other shibboleths are often used as a signifier to split the semantics. Those who are familiar and comfortable with queer culture will immediately recognize the euphemism and see the comment as facetious, while those who are ignorant of it will be left in the dark.

Michael

A friend of mine, who in the room with me right now, adds “I’m often unsure of what someone means when they say “roommate”. If I know the person well, I ask a follow up question to qualify the situation. If I don’t know the person well, I remain uncertain about what they mean – I don’t ask follow-up questions with strangers for fear of prying.”

“Living together” is probably the US equivalent of “bedmate” (which i think sounds restrictive and weird, like it’s a sex-only thing and not an actual relationship)

Housemate is rarely used here in NYC, because it’s almost always apartment-sharing—Roommate is the right term, whether you actually share a space or just the whole apt. In the midwest and other places where there are more actual houses, Housemate is a very common term. I’ve only ever heard pretentious people here use “flatmate”(in an attempt to seem more Euro/exotic)

And thanks for the memories of the Princeton Grad College, Eszter. Even at 23, I was too old for the “you walk through my bedroom to go to the bathroom and I’ll walk through your bedroom to exit” system. I got out of there after one year and never looked back (except to go to the D Bar).