Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one:
Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore.

With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key – But on the screen what did I see?
Again: “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”

I tried to catch the chips off-guard – I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards.
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations
Still there came the incantation:
Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight:
A bold and blinding flash of light – A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.
I saw the screen collapse and die
“Oh no – my database,” I cried.
I thought I heard a voice reply,
“You’ll see your data Nevermore.”

To this day I do not know
The place to which lost data goes.
I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
But, as for productivity, well
I fear that it goes straight to hell.
And that’s the tale I have to tell.
Your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

Because of its imperfections, the free market will always tend to underestimate long term risk so that the business can make short term profits – the conservative bank manager (or whatever) is irrelevant, they either get bought out, lose market share, or take part anyway in the end. There is always someone more optimistic about the risks who will bid the price down until the disaster strikes. Deregulation in these sorts of market situations is like removing the leash from a lemming because you want to see if it will jump off the cliff yet again.

Of course just any sort of regulation isn’t enough, just like you need to ensure your lemming can’t chew his way free over time.

U:> verify account
VERIFY is off.

U:> find my money
FIND: Parameter format not correct

U:>
The syntax of the command is incorrect.

U:> find “my money”
A path is not specifed.

U:> find money I had in cds
File Not Found

U:> help
For more information on a specific command, type HELP command-name

U:> help command-name
This was funny in DOS 4.0. Not so much anymore.

U:> sorry
All is forgiven.

U:> start appropriate stress tests
The system cannot appropriate stress tests.

U:> nationalize banks
‘nationalize’ is not recognized as an operable program.

U:> apply stress tests
This is not recognized as an operable batch file.

U:> verify which banks are secure
VERIFY is off.

U:> let banks fail
This is not recognized as an operable program.

U:> recover economy
cannot RECOVER the drive

U:> help us survive this
That command is not supported by this utility. Try “x /?”

U:> x /?
‘x’ is not recognized as an internal or external command.

U:> convert assets to gold and go hide in a shed somewhere
This will cause loss of data. Are you sure?
Preparing to wipe out U:
Reformatting… 1%
^CC^CC^CC^CC^CC^CC^CC^C

I have to say I’m very curious to hear what people more knowledgeable than me think that would look like.

They had low leverage (by today’s standards) of maybe 9 or 10X. A well performing bank earned 1%+ on total assets and 10%+ on equity. They loaned out perhaps 80% of their deposit base to local or regional customers. They rarely funded themselves with “hot” money. They paid solid if uninspiring dividends to the little old ladies and local businessmen who owned their stock.

There were thousands of these banks from the largest cities to the most rural area.

They operated in virtually protected franchises as hostile take-over, or virtually any take-over for that matter that didn’t involve a failing bank was not an option. Banking regulators simply wouldn’t allow it. Branching was severely restricted by state statues, protecting smaller banks from intense competition from major metropolitan area banks. There was plenty of credit available and plenty of banks from which to choose. Banks developed their own specialities in order to effectively compete. Bank of Boston had vast trading contacts in Latin America. Irving Trust was the largest commercial factor in America. Morgan Guaranty was the premier corporate bank. Citi was NYC’s largest retail bank. Regional banks dominated their geographic areas as branching restrictions kept others away. North Carolina allowed state-wide banking which nurtured NCNB, First Union and Wachovia.

The largest commercial bank failure during that period was Continental Illinois of Chicago. Illinois was a “unit” bank state – no branches were allowed. Continental Illinois was housed in one building in downtown Chicago. As a result of the Illinois branch restrictions, Continental had a relatively small retail deposit base. It funded itself each day in the overnight markets. It was a risky strategy. When it ran into credit difficulties its sources of funding dried up. It was seized by the FDIC and liquidated. The last real estate crisis brought down a few banks – Republic of Dallas, Texas Commerce – but nothing that would threaten the stability of the banking system as a whole.

The system worked fine even if it could be criticized as dowdy. Banking was not the most exciting profession to be in.

Then came deregulation. Branching and nation-wide banking came into existence. With it came the hostile take-over. Glass-Steagle was revoked. Suddenly there was money to be made in bank stocks..

It all began when Bank of New York put a take-over offer in front of the Board of Irving Trust. Irving rejected th offer. BONY sweetened it. It was rejected again. Irving was counting of the Fed and regulators to do what they had always done – reject hostile takeovers. But the wind of change was in the air. Wall Street smelled defeat for Irving. After battling BONY for a year Irving lost in court and the Regulators gave approval. The rout was on. Chairman Rice of Irving Trust caved the day after losing in Court and Irving was acquired. Rice immediately retired.

Thus was set in motion the creation of the banking system we have today. Plenty of money was made by Wall Street, bank stockholders and insiders holding shares and options, including me. The major regional banks were acquired and disappeared along with thousands of jobs.

“Growth, growth, growth!” was the mantra. “Marketing” rather than credit worthiness became the norm as loans were marketed as if selling soap. Credit insurance from AIG made it possible to shovel billions of dollars into mortgage assets without worrying about the loans themselves – after all, they were insured by AIG and carried a Moody’s/S & P investment grade ratings.

Within all of the major banks in trouble today there were those who had serious doubts about how business was being conducted. “Nay-sayers”. “Old fashioned”. “Not up to date”. They were ignored. There was no money in their Cassandra prognostications; not for “business development officers”, executive management or shareholders.

What was the matter with the old system? Not much.

Deregulation, the revocation of Glass-Steagle and the cowboy mentality of growth brought us to where we are. Unfortunately, the banking system needs to be rescued one way or another. It is more than the system deserves.

You have no money

> look for bidders

You see bidders in Singapore and Qatar

> Go to Singapore

You go to Singapore

> Sell bank

You sell bank to Singapore

> Go to Qatar

You go to Qatar

> Sell bank

You sell bank to Qatar

> Make market

You do not have enough money

> Borrow money

There are no lenders

> Go to China

You go to China

> Borrow money

China sits down and sings about copper and hydrocarbons.

> drop taxpayer’s money

Are you trying to somehow deal with the huge insolvent insurance company?

>drop magic pony

The magic pony takes control of the insolvent insurance company, and in an astounding flurry of breathtaking transactions makes everything better.

> Make bank work.

You will need to use a more specific verb.

> Guarantee bank debt.

The LIBOR remains very high. It starts to bubble.

> Guarantee bank debt.

The LIBOR remains very high. It starts to bubble.

> Guarantee bank debt.

The LIBOR remains very high. It starts to bubble. It is now shaking. There is an explosion.

> I

You are holding:-

Northern Rock
Bradford & Bingley

“…the late, unlamented MS-DOS operating system.”

Most of the POS infrastructure in the United States, Europe, and Australasia, relies on MS-DOS based systems. They are so fundamentally solid at doing what they are designed to do that, rather than dismantle them, every so often they are given a makeover (with a GUI, not functionally) when someone decides they need something “new”.