The Bitter Butter Battle Book

by John Holbo on January 25, 2016

Rod Dreher has a great quote today from Edwin W. Edwards:

“With me, the people know the butter might be rancid, but it’s going to be spread on their side of the bread.”

Dreher’s point: “That’s Trump for you, ain’t it? I bet he’ll win the GOP primary in Louisiana going away.”

It will be strange if Trump manages to rebrand the Republicans as a neo-Dixiecrat party gone nationalist courtesy of New York values. In the meantime, I’m thinking the coming Republican primary battle might need a Seussian treatment. After all, it’s well and good for conservatives to hint that Trump is kind of like an old-school Southern Democrat. But it’s not like the Republicans haven’t been buttering than lot up – just so long as it might be rancid! – for decades. Where’s the justice?

One week before Feb
When we pick the most fit
NR’s editors took us all out to the Split

For a while they just blogged
Hem and haw, him and hum
But the time finally came for
Their Symposium!

“As you know, on this side of the Split
we are Cons.
On the far other side of this Split
Live the Dons.”

Then the editors said
“It’s high time to speak true
of the terrible horrible thing that Dons do.
With every speech, with a smile or a frown
Every Don retweets views
Bitter butter side down!”

But we Cons, as you know,
When we say nay or yup
Spread our word ‘cross the world
Rancid butter side up.
That’s the right bitter way
In our mill that’s the grist
So you can’t trust a downward-spread Don populist!
Every Don must be watched!
He’s no William F. Buck
That is why, in our mag, we don’t trust just to luck
With those Donaldly rancid-side-downers: no truck!

You are familiar with the classics, I take it. Poor young Con will be dispatched to the front line, repeatedly. Each time his new, more powerful ammo proves insufficient against the impervious Don. In the end, the two sides seem poised for mutual destruction.

“Who’s going to win it?
Will Cruz …? Or will he …?
Be patient,” dear voter, “It’s a long primary.”

Eventually things are going to get so ideologically mixed up I’m going to have to break out my old copy of the The Sneetches.



MPAVictoria 01.25.16 at 2:34 pm

Rob Dreher is a homophobic hypocrite whose “Christianity” apparently doesn’t extend to refugees.

That is all.


TM 01.25.16 at 2:51 pm

Why don’t you save your breath JH.


Scott P. 01.25.16 at 3:22 pm

Biddy Botter bought bum butter.
“Blah,” said she, “bum butter’s bitter
but it’s blended in my batter
and it’s made my batter bitter.
If I blend some better butter,
better than the bitter butter,
it’ll make my bitter batter better.”

Biddy Botter made better butter
better than the bitter butter
put it in the bitter batter
now the bitter batter’s better.


oldster 01.25.16 at 5:31 pm

Isn’t this the Eddy Edwards of Louisiana who said, “all politicians will *claim* to be honest, but I have been acquitted by a jury sixteen times!”


P O'Neill 01.25.16 at 5:46 pm

Cruz (R-Alberta) does like to read Dr Seuss from the Senate floor during his non-filibuster stunts.


Dr. Hilarius 01.25.16 at 8:37 pm

Another Edwin Edwards quote: “The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.” (he won the election)

Trump’s boasting about being able to shoot people and get away with it does seem to be in a similar vein.


TheSophist 01.25.16 at 10:29 pm

The selfsame Edwards who ran against David Duke, thereby inspiring the slogan/bumper sticker “Vote for the crook, it’s important!”


John Holbo 01.25.16 at 10:58 pm

“Why don’t you save your breath JH.”

On the other hand, lots of people like Dr. Seuss.


John Holbo 01.25.16 at 11:01 pm

“Rob Dreher is a homophobic hypocrite whose “Christianity” apparently doesn’t extend to refugees.

That is all.”

Are you implying the quote is faked? I admit, I haven’t verified it.


Glen Tomkins 01.26.16 at 3:42 am

I was on active duty at the time so I had to fly home to vote, but no way was I going to miss out participating in Louisiana’s great all-reptile election of 1991, Edwin Edwards vs David Duke. The snake fought the dragon and won, and the snake had all the good government people behind him. It was like something out of Revelations, only this time History played the preview as farce.


MPAVictoria 01.26.16 at 2:24 pm

“Are you implying the quote is faked? I admit, I haven’t verified it”

Nope it was just a general comment about Rod’s character.

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