The Plain People of Crooked Timber: Belle. What is your deal even. You said you would post trivial idle thoughts alla time and instead you just ghost. And you haven’t even posted your annoying end-of-the-year mix of all the sucky songs from the previous year!
Well, gentle readers, I…I don’t have a great excuse because surely if I can play Candy Crush and lie awake at night looking at Pinterest for three solid hours I could post something. But I feel as if I should post something intelligent if I haven’t said anything in so long! I get similar email guilt; the feeling of shame at not having checked my email recently enough becomes a crippling barrier which prevents me from checking my email in a vicious cycle of anxiety. This is because contrived anxiety is actually more manageable than motivated anxiety. Our life is kind of sucking right now? One thing that’s awesome is that my mom, who got diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain over a year ago, is not merely alive and in charge of her faculties, but felt well enough to fly the 24 hours to Singapore and stay for a month. We went to Ubud in Bali also, to this villa that was just the schwaa. (The following is not, though it appears to be, the least helpful, most out of touch with reality advice because it is useful to our Antipodean readers/contributors who, it appears, must perforce go to Bali with some frequency because the entire population of Australia appears to be there at all times. Villa Bali is the best. It’s only economical if there are several of you, like four minimum, but then you have your own kitchen, can go to the grocery store and don’t need to pay for any restaurants so it can easily be cheaper than a mid-range hotel and is 50x more fun.) OTOH, Stage IV lung cancer sucks! It’s normally the stage when they tell you, “you’re about to die, bro.”
Separately, Zoë is stuck in a wheelchair which no one wants for their 14 year old. PT at home! (Short version: her back is all jonked up. Also: they don’t know. Additionally: ???) Homeschooling? Homeschooling! I’ve always thought I would be competent to do homeschooling but would require help in someone making a schedule and forcing me to do it. So…yeah. So far I’ve taught her embroidery and cross stitch. Mmmmm. I don’t know how useful that is for getting an International Baccalaureate, but at the same time it’s a fun activity that you can do semi-reclining, and you get cool stuff at the end. (They have to take the SAT also if they apply to college in the states, which seems unfair. The IB exam is legit.) One can’t really draw without sitting up and maybe, if you are me and Zoë, hunching so far over the paper as you cross-hatch fine details that you get ink on your nose. John is going to have to be the schedule guy; he’s all motivated and organized. And Violet. Violet is also motivated and organized. She comes home on Friday and does her homework right away so she can enjoy the rest of the weekend playing videogames without guilt. What kind of crazy sh#t is that? I would be surprised to find out that I ever started my weekend homework before Sunday at 7 p.m. Being in charge of Zoë doing it is forcing me to do the physical therapy I’m supposed to do for my bjorked-up spine but always blew off until now, and, funny story, I feel better. In the long run everything is going to be OK and I know Zoë will have a way better 2016 than she did a 2015. She kind of has to. I mean, in the long run, except for one’s shoulder itching as it anticipates the icy grip of inevitable death, but, you know, that’s just true all the time.
The Plain People of Crooked Timber: sure, but these mixes are entertaining only insofar as they demonstrate mastery of a narrow skill. He doesn’t create songs to which one wishes to listen. Also, it is unfair to make us all feel bad for you, because what if we need to disagree with you because you are wrong or tell you that you are part of the 1% globally and now you fail to understand everyone’s actual struggles. You don’t see us rushing to the comments with our sob stories. This is a high-minded blog. We are stoic, like Midwesterners, or Finnish people.
Not so! The girls and I listen to DJ Earworm all the time! Violet’s fave is 2012, which is good because of the unusually high number of good songs and the only appearance of Janelle Monàe, while Zoë prefers 2013, which features unusually good video editing, and gave us a chance to make jokes that depends on one’s having read and cared a lot about the manga Gakuen Alice. Namely, “Bear’s got an Alice, bitch!” and “Bear is in Dangerous Abilities!” However, it is hilarious to us and the one other person who has ever gotten it, one of Zoë’s Korean friends. I’m partial to Summermash 2013 because of its heavy reliance on Daft Punk, without its being my favorite. Also, you can still tell me I’m wrong about everything.