China Mieville, on whom there will be more in this blog in the New Year, tells us how the Socialists saved (will save) Christmas.
Via About Last Night , SF author John Scalzi presents us with the ten worst Christmas specials ever. Starting with Dorothy Parker and gang.
An Algonquin Round Table Christmas (1927)
Alexander Woolcott, Franklin Pierce Adams, George Kaufman, Robert Benchley and Dorothy Parker were the stars of this 1927 NBC Red radio network special, one of the earliest Christmas specials ever performed. Unfortunately the principals, lured to the table for an unusual evening gathering by the promise of free drinks and pirogies, appeared unaware they were live and on the air, avoiding witty seasonal banter to concentrate on trashing absent Round Tabler Edna Ferber’s latest novel, Mother Knows Best, and complaining, in progressively drunken fashion, about their lack of sex lives. Seasonal material of a sort finally appears in the 23rd minute when Dorothy Parker, already on her fifth drink, can be heard to remark, “one more of these and I’ll be sliding down Santa’s chimney.” The feed was cut shortly thereafter. NBC Red’s 1928 holiday special “Christmas with the Fitzgeralds” was similarly unsuccessful.
Ayn Rand’s ‘A Selfish Christmas,’ the lost Star Trek special (‘A Most Illogical Holiday’) and the David Cronenberg Canadian Christmas special (‘The virus causes Santa to develop both a large, tooth-bearing orifice in his belly and a lustful hunger for human flesh, which he sates by graphically devouring Canadian celebrities Bryan Adams, Dan Ackroyd and Gordie Howe on national television’) also excel.
Who would’ve thought that discussing pumpkin pie would be such a popular topic among Timberites (and others as well). Here, I offer an alternative European perspective as there were eight of us around the table last night (with not an American in sight although some later joined us for socializing): three Italians, two Germans, one German/French, one Dutch and one Hungarian. First of all, I’m proud to say that you couldn’t have had a more traditional Thanksgiving meal including a mashed potato/sweet potato dish, bean casserole, cranberry relish, cranberry jello salad, squash, stuffing, plenty of gravy and, of course, a beautiful and delicious turkey. Other than the dinner rolls, ice cream and whipped cream everything was homemade. But let me fast forward to the dessert portion of the evening.
After a walk out to the beach to make some room for the pies, we started a general discussion comparing European vs American pastries. Several people around the table thought that American desserts are just too sweet. This may explain why most people only took a small slice of my pecan pie (oh, and I cheated, I didn’t make the crust). However, I was happy to note that people were quite excited about the pumpkin pie (pictured here without the important whipped cream component). I relied on canned pumpkin pure, but used a special recipe that adds vanilla ice cream to the filling making it extra fluffy and yummy. To the skeptics who in the comments to Belle’s post wondered whether people just said they liked the pie versus actually enjoyed it, I can report that my guests were quite honest regarding their preferences. Everyone got to take food when they left and people did not seem to have any qualms about expressing their preferences (thus I got to keep quite a few peanutbutter bars given that several of those in attendance have not yet developed a taste for peanut butter). I should add that my friend’s Alsatian apple tart was a really big hit as well (and as suggested earlier, it was not as sweet as the other desserts). One more point about desserts: I never use vanilla extract, I use vanilla sugar instead. I think it works much better (the former seems to have an artificial taste I don’t like). Substituting one packet for one teaspoon seems to work well.
The evening ended with us reminiscing about European 70s music (that may require a separate post sometime) and playing around with the various toys on my coffee table (coffee table books are so passé, try putting some Rubik games out sometime). Of course, after that amount of food no need to get so technical as to introduce elaborate puzzles. I brought out my vintage Schwarzer Peter card deck my grandmother and I used to play with when I was five. There is a reason I used to play with it when I was five. After a few minutes of playing we started wondering how many PhDs it takes to figure out the quickest way to end the game (well, you know, without actually just calling it quits). (Keep reinventing the rules and working with the other players so someone can win.) What a fun evening, and of course, no need to cook for the next several days.
I just wanted to wish people a Happy New Year. I am not going to say anything profound, just post text from an email that was forwarded to me a few days ago (below the fold). Of course, depending on your perspective, some of those lines could be considered pretty profound.
Otherwise, you can head over to the Unsealed Room to read up on the amusing circumstances of Madonna’s/Esther’s1 visit to Israel (e.g. please, no Jewish photographers, wouldn’t want Jews to violate the High Holy Days).
1 I’d just like to add that I’m really glad she went with the English spelling so as not to upset my Google rankings.:)
[I got this in an email forward without information about the author. I’d be happy to post credits if anyone can point to a source. UPDATE: Thanks to commentator “ak” on my blog I now know that these tidbits come from David M. Bader’s Zen Judaism: For You, A Little Enlightenment. See the book for additional deep thoughts.]
THOUGHTS OF A JEWISH BUDDHIST
Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with posture like that.
There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, danish.
The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?
Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
To find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis…
UPDATE: Someone just sent me this link (Flash, sound turned on recommended) and although I ordinarily would not post a link to something I do not understand (can anyone help me?) this comes from a very reliable source so I thought I’d share.
Hello from a motel in Little Rock, Arkansas, which turns out to have free ethernet. (The motel, not the city.) Today’s route ran from near Salem, SC, up I-85 to Spartanburg, SC where I picked up I-26 to Asheville, NC, where you hit I-40. The drive across the Smokies was beautiful, though there were some brutally heavy rainstorms. Then I drove across the whole of Tennessee, lengthways. The first city was Knoxville. I swear the smug looking guy in the fancy sportscar who cut me off around there looked familiar. The longer it went on, the flatter and less interesting Tennessee became, and the more I was forced to resort to strategies like singing in the car in order to keep myself awake. Well, to be honest maybe I didn’t need that much provocation. Here’s forty seconds’ worth of video from a day’s worth of driving. Tomorrow: On to Amarillo! I wonder if we have any readers in Amarillo.
Easter in Australia is a four-day public holiday, and coincides with school holidays, so it’s a good time to organise get-togethers. There are events for nearly everyone from poodle-fanciers to petrolheads (even, I believe, some major religious celebrations). For most of the past thirty years, I’ve gone to the National Folk Festival (held in Canberra since the early 90s). This always gets me into the kind of utopian mood where you think that the troubles of the world would be over if only we would all be like brothers and sisters to each other1. And lately, it always seems to coincide with particularly bloody events in the real world, making me very reluctant to get out of this mood and back to reality.
There was lots of great stuff, but I particularly enjoyed seeing Judy Small again. Among her new material, the funniest was Lesbian Chic has passed me by, opening withThey throw panties at kd, No-one ever does that for meMy career as a folksinger was considerably shorter and less successful than Judy’s has been, but in that respect at least, my experience matches hers.
Also of interest was a competition for performances inspired by Bob Dylan, who is, I suspect, taken rather less seriously by folkies than by baby boomers at large. Although there were some serious entries, the winner was a bouzouki-style belly dance presentation of Blowin’ in the Wind.
Talking of demographics, the Festival is one of the few events to which generational cliches can safely be applied. Generation X-ers (age group 25-40) were notable for their rarity, and so, as a result, were children aged under 5. All other age groups were well represented, particularly teenagers who seem to enjoy this event a lot.
1 This despite the many folk songs in which brothers and sisters do all manner of dreadful things to each other
Last weekend when I realized the NCAA Final Four championships were being played on the first night of Passover, I couldn’t help but wonder whether Elijah would be interested in watching basketball.
I see now that others are pondering similarly important questions with respect to this week’s holidays. The Head Heeb wonders what would be a good Jewish substitute for the Easter Bunny. I think my vote would be to let it be so we don’t add to the ways in which these holidays can be commercialized. But if I want to play along, I’ll say I think we should have little personified matzah. They could have facial features and arms and legs. It would resemble SpongeBob SquarePants. I think it could be cute.
Since we’re on the topic of peeps, bunnies and bilbies, let’s not forget the seasonal reason for oranges. Is that confusing? Then you should take a look at a humanist feminist modern-version Haggadah for Passover. My referral logs from last year tell me that there are definitely others out there who seek such a text so I was happy to make one available. To elaborate, humanist means that there is no mention of a higher power and feminist refers to the inclusion of the orange on the Seder plate. It’s a modern version Haggadah because it does not only refer to events from thousands of years ago but also makes reference to the Holocaust and hardships of today. The plagues are not frogs and wild beasts but hunger and war. In general, it’s a more inclusive text. To spice things up a bit, you can also plan to have a chocolate seder plate for dessert. The first night of Passover this year falls on Monday, April 5th.
Following up Belle’s post, In Australia, as Easter approaches, the big question is: Bunny or Bilby? To give as fair and balanced a presentation as possible of the main issues, the rabbit is a voracious alien pest1 marketed in chocolate form by greedy multinationals, while the bilby is an appealing, and endangered, native marsupial made available for Easter celebration by public spirited Australians, helping to raise both awareness and much-needed funds. We report, you decide.
1 Matched only by the fox
With Christmas, post-Christmas sales and Valentine's Day all behind us, it's time for the next season in the annual consumption calendar, so I wasn't surprised to see Easter Eggs on sale when I went grocery-shopping today. I do however, have a couple of questions for historically-minded readers.
First, while I know that it's traditional to have a day of excess at Mardi Gras, followed by forty days of feasting in Lent, and then another blowout at Easter, and that this festival of consumption follows an earlier Christian tradition, I have the feeling that there has been a subtle change somewhere along the line - can anyone tell me what it is?
Second, where does the name Lent come from? Is this considered a particularly auspicious time for adding to your consumer debt, or is that just a piece of folk etymology?
For those celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I wanted to share some tried-and-true recipes. I’m an especially big fan of the pecan pie recipe. In addition to the dishes on that list, I will also make a batch of peanutbutter bars courtesy of Laura’s family (one of the Lauras who sometimes posts in the comments).
I like this holiday (even though I did not grow up with it) because it’s one of the very few that is not associated with having to get gifts for people nor does it have any religious overtones. (Don’t get me wrong, I love to surprise my friends and family with gifts, but I prefer to do it when I feel like it not when a marketing campaign tells me I should.) Of course, given that it’s a horribly hectic travel time of the year in the US, I‘m sure not everybody shares my enthusiasm.
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