February 11, 2005

Friday Fun Thread: Animal Planet week continues

Posted by Ted

My beloved fiancee received two hermit crabs for Christmas. Due to pressures both foreign and domestic, she has not named the crabs yet, and has consistently (cruelly, some would say) rejected my suggestions.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

(pictured: a very similar hermit crab)

Luckily, I have the wisdom of crowds on my side. If any commentor suggests a pair of names for two hermit crabs which are adopted by my fiancee, I’ll donate $20 to Habitat for Humanity in his or her name.

Posted on February 11, 2005 07:09 PM UTC
Comments

Ted,

Share some of the names that you came up with!

Posted by Guy · February 11, 2005 07:16 PM

I don’t really remember. I do remember that I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny. I thought that they nicely complemented the name of our dog, Ramona. The judges were not swayed.

Posted by Ted Barlow · February 11, 2005 07:36 PM

Hermit & Hismit.

Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 11, 2005 07:36 PM

How about Cake and Cocktail :-)

Posted by Randy Paul · February 11, 2005 07:47 PM

How about Cake and Cocktail :-)

Posted by Randy Paul · February 11, 2005 07:48 PM

Gannon & Guckert?

Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 11, 2005 07:56 PM

Having had hermit crabs as pets a couple of times, I will suggest

Stop that Nocturnal Clunking Noise This Instant!

and

Wait — Where’d He Go?

Posted by Bill Tozier · February 11, 2005 07:58 PM

“Hermit & Hismit.”

LOL. I vote for that one. But how do we know they’re a male and a female?

Posted by x · February 11, 2005 07:58 PM

leon and sophie

Posted by r · February 11, 2005 07:59 PM

Buster & Body

Posted by HP · February 11, 2005 08:03 PM

Fafnir & Giblets. What else?

Posted by Barbara Tozier · February 11, 2005 08:05 PM

Dr. Zoidberg and Clamps

Posted by Jerky · February 11, 2005 08:05 PM

Buster & Body

(Or possibly 503 and Server Error, in honor of CT. Watch me double-post.)

Posted by HP · February 11, 2005 08:05 PM

“I do remember that I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny.”

Ok then I guess there’s no female in there. Too bad.

(I almost read “Joey and Chandler” instead… errr…)

Unoriginally, hermit made me think of Kermit, so, my shameless suggestion: Kermit and Elmo. Ouch.

Posted by x · February 11, 2005 08:06 PM

Dr. Zoidberg and Clamps

Posted by Jerky · February 11, 2005 08:06 PM

Chad and Jeremy? Salt n Peppah?

Posted by Jeremy Osner · February 11, 2005 08:07 PM

Hermits, huh?

How about Anthony and Giles?

See:

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/sainta06.htm

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintg15.htm

Posted by rea · February 11, 2005 08:09 PM

Go badass.

Venom and Crusher.

Posted by Cryptic Ned · February 11, 2005 08:10 PM

We don’t know what their genders are, and it’s likely that we never will. Don’t let that constrain your imagination.

(I love “Stop that Nocturnal Clunking Noise This Instant!” The quiet scraping and clunking frequently reminds me of the old Steven King story “The Bogeyman”. Not that I’m chicken.)

Posted by Ted Barlow · February 11, 2005 08:10 PM

Frannie and Zoe

Posted by lordwhorfin · February 11, 2005 08:12 PM

Anomura and Paguridae

Posted by cleek · February 11, 2005 08:19 PM

You could curry favor with your fellow CT-ites and name them John and Belle. But then they’d have to get a blog.

You could name them J.D. and Greta, after famous human hermits.

MKK

Posted by Mary Kay · February 11, 2005 08:23 PM

Herman and Derek (or Keith, or Karl, or Barry).

Herman’s Hermits

Posted by Scott Spiegelberg · February 11, 2005 08:26 PM

El Bombastico and Un Hombre Muy Magnifico.

Posted by Michael Davies · February 11, 2005 08:28 PM

How about El Bombastico and Un Hombre Muy Magnifico?

Posted by Michael Davies · February 11, 2005 08:30 PM

Trixie and Bubbles.

Posted by jif · February 11, 2005 08:32 PM

fanny & alexander

Posted by athena · February 11, 2005 08:34 PM

If not Anthony and Giles for hermits, then Statler and Waldorf for crabs?

Posted by Matt Weiner · February 11, 2005 08:48 PM

As hermits, the live in the Hermit Kingdom, right ?

How about Amaterasu and Omikami.

Posted by Jay Conner · February 11, 2005 08:49 PM

You gave her crabs? OMG!

How about Itchy and Scratchy?

Posted by Aaron · February 11, 2005 08:49 PM

Pride and Prejudice

Fons and Origo

Vine and Fig-tree

Posted by SloLernr · February 11, 2005 08:49 PM

Cranky and crusty (Well, they are CRABS!!!)

Posted by nihil obstet · February 11, 2005 08:52 PM

You gave her crabs? OMG!

How about Itchy and Scratchy?

Posted by Aaron · February 11, 2005 08:53 PM

You gave her crabs? OMG!

How about Itchy and Scratchy?

Posted by Aaron · February 11, 2005 08:54 PM

Sorry about the multiples. I kept getting 404s and when I went back and refreshed, the post weren’t there.

Posted by Aaron · February 11, 2005 09:00 PM

lola & verne (my parents bridge partners)

tristan & isolde

charles & camilla

Posted by luckymann · February 11, 2005 09:06 PM

*******************************

Beanie & Cecil

*******************************

Posted by djs · February 11, 2005 09:11 PM

Crab Calloway and Crabby Hayes

Posted by Robert Johnson · February 11, 2005 09:17 PM

Skitter and Scatter

Posted by Walt Pohl · February 11, 2005 09:27 PM

Bill and Hillary

FYI, using this fun tool, check out how Hillary™ apparently killed-off the name “Hillary”

Posted by cleek · February 11, 2005 09:36 PM

Whoops, wrong country for Hermit Kingdom. Make it Yogi and Togi, Korean for here and there.

Posted by Jay Conner · February 11, 2005 09:38 PM

Flash and Speedy?

Posted by Chris Clarke · February 11, 2005 09:48 PM

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern

Posted by fdl · February 11, 2005 09:56 PM

John the Baptist and Obi-wan Kenobi? (Crabby hermits :-)

Posted by Redshift · February 11, 2005 10:04 PM

Given the shortlived nature of hermit crabs, that last seems like an unnecessarily heartless set-up for not all that much of a punchline.

Posted by LizardBreath · February 11, 2005 10:07 PM

Sorry, last post referred to Rosencrantz & Guildenstern.

Posted by LizardBreath · February 11, 2005 10:10 PM

How about Claude & Claudette?

Posted by Robert B in DC · February 11, 2005 10:39 PM

Are you making fun of The Wisdom of Crowds? I just checked that book out the library this morning and will start reading this weekend. I hope you’re not dismissing it.

Posted by Anita Hendersen · February 11, 2005 10:57 PM

My dogs are named Bonnie & Clyde, but you can’t have it.

Hesse & Heydrich?

Munster & Mankiewicz?

Posted by bob mcmanus · February 11, 2005 10:58 PM

How about Ethan and Mattie?

Posted by Eric Anderson · February 11, 2005 11:21 PM

I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny

Are you a Calexico fan by any chance?

Posted by ogmb · February 11, 2005 11:24 PM

From the Muppet Show Box seats.

Waldorf & Statler

Posted by totallyGreg · February 12, 2005 12:02 AM

The Captain and Tenille.

optionally:

Simon and Simon.

Posted by The Editors · February 12, 2005 12:02 AM

Ever and anon.

Posted by John Isbell · February 12, 2005 12:26 AM

Fred ‘n’ Ginger!
Bonnie ‘n’ Clyde!
Laurel ‘n’ Hardy!
Lennon ‘n’ MacCartney!
Tom ‘n’ Jerry!
Gilbert ‘n’ Sullivan!
Peaches ‘n’ Creme!
Mango ‘n’ Chutney!
Serbo ‘n’ Croat!
Banger ‘n’ Mash!
Fish ‘n’ Chips!
Pinky ‘n’ Perky!
Sooty ‘n’ Sweep!
Majikthijs ‘n’ Vroomfondel!
Ford ‘n’ Arthur!
Zaphod ‘n’ Trillian!
Bosnia ‘n’ Herzogovina!
Serbia ‘n’ Montenegro!
Gin ‘n’ Tonic!
Whisk(e)y ‘n’ Coke!
Wodka ‘n’ Orange!
Gilbert ‘n’ Sullivan!
Rogers ‘n’ Hart

Is there a shortage, round your way?

Posted by des von bladet · February 12, 2005 12:34 AM

I’m with LizardBreath—give them names that will enoble their deaths.

John the Baptist and John of Patmos?

Posted by Jackmormon · February 12, 2005 01:13 AM

Dumb and Dumber

Posted by fyreflye · February 12, 2005 01:15 AM

Click and Clack

Posted by bad Jim · February 12, 2005 01:44 AM

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hermies/message/58487

Posted by Shai · February 12, 2005 02:11 AM

Harold & Maude

Nicky & Paris

Hepburn & Tracy

Wallace & Gromit

Posted by Jon H · February 12, 2005 02:11 AM

doo wah diddy

dum diddy doo

(she can sing their names, too)

doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo…

(all join in)

[applause]

Posted by Movie Guy · February 12, 2005 02:15 AM

Brooks and Safire?

Posted by Jon H · February 12, 2005 02:15 AM

Pete and Repeat?

Posted by Bernard Yomtov · February 12, 2005 02:24 AM

Vladimir and Estragon

Posted by katy · February 12, 2005 02:59 AM

Up is Down

and

Down is Up

Posted by biz · February 12, 2005 03:03 AM

I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

Posted by Anonymous · February 12, 2005 03:30 AM

I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

Posted by Anonymous · February 12, 2005 03:31 AM

I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

Posted by Anonymous · February 12, 2005 03:32 AM

Nebula and Apple would be new-age nice. But how about Keats and Chapman for that classic touch?

Posted by peter ramus · February 12, 2005 04:00 AM

Nest and Rest

Posted by Rowen Blake · February 12, 2005 05:11 AM

car and cdr

Posted by anon · February 12, 2005 05:29 AM

If they’re living together in the same tank, they’re obviously NOT hermit crabs. They’re cenobite crabs.

Therefore: Pinhead and Chatterer.

Posted by Slithy Tove · February 12, 2005 05:35 AM

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince

Posted by JP · February 12, 2005 06:02 AM

Charles and Camilla

Posted by susan · February 12, 2005 06:19 AM

Clause and Deflect?

Posted by bad Jim · February 12, 2005 07:39 AM

Sushi and Sashimi
Oscar and Felix
Castor and Pollox (don’t try loudly calling them home)
H1 and H2
The Amazing Rondos!
Crunch! and Oh Shit!
Mayo and Butter
Mel and Danny (from ‘Lethal Claws 1’)
Charles and Pamela

Posted by Nabakov · February 12, 2005 11:55 AM

Fuck,I meant Charles and Camillia. But I see luckyman beat me to it anyway.

OK, Di and Dodi.

Crabsky and Hutch
Butch Hermit and the Sundance Shell
Henry Crun and Minnie Bannister
Alien and Predator
Ludwig and Karl

From my own experience with hermit crabs, you can coax em out of their shells, into they’ve retreated and blocked the entrance with that big flat claw when you pick ‘em up, by whistling very high pitched yet close and quiet. Try it. It does work.

Posted by Nabakov · February 12, 2005 12:09 PM

How about taking them down to the seaside where they belong?

Posted by Anonymous · February 12, 2005 02:14 PM

Abelard and Heloise

Posted by liz · February 12, 2005 02:15 PM

Albin and Renato

Posted by R J Keefe · February 12, 2005 03:00 PM

Sushi and Sashimi

I knew a woman who had Siamese cats by those names.

I have a friend who once had goldfish named Macaroni & Cheese.

As a child, I had gerbils named Lucy & Linus.

I must avoid this thread or I’m not going to get a thing done today.

(And besides, I still stand behind my two suggestions supra: Hermit & Hismit, or Gannon & Guckert. No wait, scratch the latter; it may be too short-term topical. I have a 16-year-old cat named Raisa, which made perfect sense in 1989, given the high visibility of Mme Gorbachev. But today, you’d be surprised how many people say “That’s a pretty name. Did you make it up?”)

OK, now I’m really getting out of here…

Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 12, 2005 03:14 PM

Mr Crabs and Patrick

Posted by cleek · February 12, 2005 03:34 PM

siskel and ebert
pinchy and mojo
sacco and vanzetti
simon and garfunkel
teenwolf and teenwolf too

Posted by katherine · February 12, 2005 04:10 PM

I named my crabs Claude and Shelly.

Posted by A Nonymous · February 12, 2005 04:12 PM

Bubble and Squeak
Tessio and Clemenza
Rico and Youngblood?

Posted by consigliere · February 12, 2005 04:16 PM

Merry & Pippin
Mr. Krabs & Plankton
Aziraphale & Crowley

Posted by maurinsky · February 12, 2005 04:40 PM

Kaczynski & Hughes

Posted by jw · February 12, 2005 05:19 PM

Worker & Parasite.

Posted by Jason McCullough · February 12, 2005 06:57 PM

Worker & Parasite.

Posted by Jason McCullough · February 12, 2005 06:58 PM

Strange & Norrell

(Or, Drawlight & Lascelles)

Johnson & Boswell

Posted by Jon H · February 12, 2005 07:40 PM

Strange & Norrell

(Or, Drawlight & Lascelles)

Johnson & Boswell

Posted by Jon H · February 12, 2005 07:41 PM

Crabbe & Goyle

Posted by clueless · February 12, 2005 11:12 PM

Cancer and Chemo.

Posted by Ereshkigal · February 12, 2005 11:26 PM

They better be very different sizes or be in very different-looking shells or you can use one name for both, since you won’t be able to tell them apart.

That being said:

Slip and Slide
Button and Hook
Larry and Curly
Moe and Shemp
Amas and Amat (then, if you get a third hermie…Amo!)
Invino and Veritas
Homer and Virgil

…and I better stop, right now.

Posted by CaseyL · February 12, 2005 11:55 PM

Rocky & Bullwinkle!

Posted by JeffL · February 13, 2005 12:01 AM

Ayn and Nathaniel

Posted by Jon H · February 13, 2005 12:51 AM

Ayn and Nathaniel

Posted by Jon H · February 13, 2005 12:51 AM

Canon and Nanoc (music joke).

Posted by Scott Spiegelberg · February 13, 2005 12:51 AM

I’m suprised no one has said:
Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Posted by jdevries · February 13, 2005 01:09 AM

sid & nancy
george & laura

Posted by rwc · February 13, 2005 01:11 AM

amos & moses

Posted by gratefulbead · February 13, 2005 01:45 AM

caseyl, to tell ‘em apart, you paint the names on the shells - along with some nice racing stripes if yer so inclined.

Bogie & Bacall
Godzilla & Gojira
Little Boy & Fatman
Kirk & Spock
Dubya & Bambi
Fluffy & Cuddles
Brutus & Spike

Posted by Nabakov · February 13, 2005 03:38 AM

I affectionately call my daughter’s goldfish
Sushi and Sashimi

Posted by Pheidias · February 13, 2005 04:23 AM

-Doofus and Goober
-Antony and Cleopatra
-Slip and Shod
-Incrab and Outcrab (philosophy joke, ask Kieran to ask L.A.)
-Nook and Cranny
-Ontology and Philology (to be decided upon by which one recapitulates which)
-Mr. Fantastic and She-Hulk
-Essence and Accident
-Tit and Tat
-Hodge and Podge
-Willy and Nilly
-Hoi and Polloi
-Flotsam and Jetsam
-Balder and Dash
-Flim and Flam
-Helter and Skelter
-Etc. and etcetera

Posted by entity · February 13, 2005 04:27 AM

Charm and strangeness?

Posted by Randolph Fritz · February 13, 2005 05:58 AM

Gemeinschaft & Gesellschaft.

Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 13, 2005 03:16 PM

Morbidly Obese and Anal Avalanche

Posted by a pie cooling on a windowsill · February 13, 2005 06:30 PM

Morbidly Obese and Anal Avalanche

Posted by a pie cooling on a windowsill · February 13, 2005 06:31 PM

Stalin & Beria

Posted by Gozer · February 14, 2005 04:40 AM

Kang and Kodos?

Posted by Larv · February 14, 2005 06:57 AM

Has anyone suggested Lennon and McCartney?
Goofus and Gallant?
John-John and Carolyn?
Ebert and Roper? Siskel and Ebert?
Meat and Potatoes?
Frank and Earnest?
Richler and Coen?
Ghost and Steve?

Posted by rebecca · February 14, 2005 04:53 PM

“You could curry favor with your fellow CT-ites and name them John and Belle. But then they’d have to get a blog.”

Ooh, I like that.

You could put a sign up over them, saying “John and Belle Have A Cage”

(or A Tank, or A Shell, or whatever)

Posted by Jon H · February 14, 2005 08:18 PM

You will let us know what names they end up with, won’t you?

Posted by Jackmormon · February 15, 2005 06:31 PM

How about “Obi-Wan” and “Zarathustra”?

“Blake” and “Shell(e)y”?

“Mary” and “Percy”?

“Page” and “Plant”?

“Kruschev” and “Castro”?

“Asterix” and “Obelix”?

“Wordsworth” and “Coleridge”?

“Starsky” and “Hutch”?

“Peaches” and “Herb”?

“Ben” and “Jerry”?

“Butch” and “Sundance”?

“Elton” and “Bernie”?

Posted by Michael · February 16, 2005 01:58 AM

And you will donate the $20 to Habitats for Hermanity?

Posted by Nabakov · February 16, 2005 02:40 AM

His & Hers
Dead or Alive
Crusty & Flaky
Candide, or Optimism
Wit and its relation to the unconscious

Posted by bad Jim · February 17, 2005 10:24 AM
Followups

This discussion has been closed. Thanks to everyone who contributed.