November 01, 2004

Is That a Promise or a Threat?

Posted by Belle Waring

Mark Steyn promises to resign if Kerry is elected.

Having failed to read correctly the mood of my own backyard, I could hardly continue to pass myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical forces at play. Obviously that doesn’t bother a lot of chaps in this line of work — Sir Simon Jenkins, Robert ‘Mister Robert’ Fisk, etc., — and no doubt I could breeze through the next four years doing ketchup riffs on Teresa Heinz Kerry, but I feel a period of sober reflection far from the scene would be appropriate. My faith in the persuasive powers of journalism would be shattered; maybe it would be time to try something else — organising coups in Africa, like the alleged Sir Mark Thatcher is alleged to have allegedly done; maybe abseiling down the walls of the Presidential palace and garroting the guards personally.

I doubt he’s quite up to it, but at least his heart’s in the right place.

Posted on November 1, 2004 11:51 AM UTC
Comments

I should mention, too, that he feels a Kerry-electing USA would be merely a “butcher Belgium”, i.e., wimpy. I wonder, how many millions of Congolese people does a nation have to kill to get a little respect?

Posted by belle waring · November 1, 2004 11:55 AM

The stakes of this presidential race just went up to a whole new level…

Posted by G. Svenson · November 1, 2004 12:43 PM

I wonder, how many millions of Congolese people does a nation have to kill to get a little respect?

I does not count unless the victims are white.

Posted by Don Quijote · November 1, 2004 12:56 PM

That was like reading an article from another universe. These sort of folks are really going to be surprised tomorrow. I don’t believe for a minute that he’ll actually resign, though.

Posted by Keith M Ellis · November 1, 2004 12:59 PM

I just wasted 3 minutes reading that drivel. I want them back.

Posted by rps · November 1, 2004 01:20 PM

He also promised to quit the Irish Times a few weeks back if Kerry wins.

Posted by Dick O'Brien · November 1, 2004 01:51 PM

It’s a start, but I’ll be satisfied with nothing less than his suicide.
The man is either a clown capering for coins or a lunatic.

Posted by Merkin · November 1, 2004 01:56 PM

add another 3 minutes to that total.

Posted by Azad · November 1, 2004 02:08 PM

Gah, three minutes from me too.

Note for any comments-scanners who happen to parse like me: it turns out that “butcher Belgium” = “a slightly more butch version of Belgium,” not “Belgium in a stained white apron selling meat products.”

Posted by mv · November 1, 2004 02:33 PM

“Belgium in a stained white apron” is surely the title of an unreleased Pavement outtake.

Thanks, commenters, for saving me from spending three minutes reading that article.

Posted by J. Ellenberg · November 1, 2004 02:38 PM

“I could hardly continue to pass myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical forces at play”

I do believe that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all year.

Posted by Ginger Yellow · November 1, 2004 02:54 PM

The stakes of this presidential race just went up to a whole new level…

Hee! Yes indeed. Although I’d be fairly happy if he just wasn’t polluting my Irish Times (he’s already turned Kevin Myers into an Instapundit clone).

Posted by billyfrombelfast · November 1, 2004 02:56 PM

Prior to the (new) Labour victory in 1997 any number of Tory voting journalists and celebrities promised to quit the UK if Labour won.

I note that so far none of them have actually carried out that threat.

Posted by Matt McGrattan · November 1, 2004 04:08 PM

Osama bin Laden lives. I say Churchhill and FDR were right. Fight this murderer until he can hide no more. Never give in to tyranny. Fight him with the most powerful weapon you have, your vote. Vote Red State for Freedom.

Posted by Volunteer State · November 1, 2004 07:11 PM

Oh come on! You don’t like Mark Steyn? The guy is hilarious. There’s a gem in every column: Andrew Sullivan as a “moulting hawk,” does this count for nothing? Is there no place for the unrelievedly partisan but funny op-ed writer in your cold, black heart? What about Kinsley? Ya gotta love Kinsley (or at least, Kinsley-as-humorist).

Posted by baa · November 1, 2004 08:10 PM

What was that POS doing IN the Irish Times?
Myles naGopaleen to this guy?
It is to weep.

Posted by Jim Madison's Dog · November 1, 2004 09:30 PM

Like I said on my own blog, I didn’t think I could root any harder for a Kerry victory, but then I read this. Man, do I hate Mark (“I’m predicting Bush over Gore in a total landslide”) Steyn. Please tell me his editors, no longer fearing the wrath of Conrad Black, will hold him to this.

Posted by ArC · November 1, 2004 10:06 PM

Mark Steyn is hilarious. and, i for one, am willing to bet that he will indeed resign if Bush loses.

shall we start a pool?

Will Mark steyn go?

will Belle Waring follow up this post if Kerry wins and Mark Steyn goes?

Will belle waring follow up this post if Bush wins and Mark Steyn stays?

Posted by Pollie Anon · November 2, 2004 01:18 AM
Followups

→ The Affirmative Case For John Kerry Part 2.
Excerpt: If he wins, Mark Steyn promises to resign: Having failed to read correctly the mood of my own backyard, I could hardly continue to pass myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical forces at play. Obviously that...Read more at Pandagon

This discussion has been closed. Thanks to everyone who contributed.