2nd Treatise Rap

The following in the style of Immortal Technique:

You betta watch what tha fuck flies outa ya mouth
Or Ima burn your house down with ya tied to ya couch
Cos reward and punishment’s the only rational way
To make a fuckin man do whatever the fuck I say
I gotta viewa human nature that’s tabula rasa
Cos you don’t know shit til I make you my masta

Separation a powers, got my checks and balances
And the Glorious Revolution got me in the palaces
And you mystical muthafuckas just look like some phalluses
Locke down and cold, murdering all yo fallacies.

Empirical truth, mutha, don’t ever try to diss me
Cos I got rhymes that’s colder than Walt Disney
My lyrics are like syphallus but harder to catch
An if you don’t obey my law, then you gettin yo ass capped
You gettin locked in the pen fo ten to fifty
Monopoly a violence boy, cos you lookin shifty

You Hobbesian people swallow like Bambi Woods
And you’d never live a day in the projects or the hoods
Cos you ignorant about what keeps men from they selfish ways
Private property, boy, helps the people get paid.

Etc etc etc.

Lenin is Straight Outta Compton. IN DUBYA EH!

Of related interest: the Gizoogle version:

CHAP. II. Of tha State of Nature. Sec. 4 cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. TO understand politizzle powa right, n derive it from its original, we mizzy consida, W-H-to-tha-izzat state all men is naturally in, n that is, a state of perfect freedom ta orda they actions, n dispose of they possessions n persons, as they think fizzay witin tha bounds of tha law of nature, witout rhymin’ leave, or depend’n upon tha will of any rappa man. A state also of equality, wherein all tha brotha n jurisdizzles is reciprizzles no one hav’n mizzy than shot calla there being nuttin’ more evident, thiznan that creatures of tha same species n rizzank, promiscuously born ta all tha same advantages of nature, n tha use of tha same faculties, should also be equal one amongst bitch witout subordinizzles or subjection, unless tha lord n cracka of them all should, by any manifest declarizzles of his W-to-tha-izzill, set one above anotha, n brotha on hizzle by an evident n clear appointment, an undoubted right ta dominion n sovereignty.

via Philosophy, etc., via Brian W.

Anonymous leading British philosophers throw down old school beats and rhymes. Who would’ve known?

When you be rapping with John Locke, need no plan of attack–
This here ain’t no Hobbesian nature, you ain’t gonna get whacked–
But we peeps want something more, that’s a stone hard fact–
Gotsta optimize our goods with a SOCIAL CONTRACT.

That last line doesn’t scan so good. But I’m imagining that it leads into the bridge. Or something.