Best Spam Ever

by Belle Waring on April 8, 2006

I think this is my best spam email ever. It’s part Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and part Russian sci-fi:

“Why is it,” Jonathan puzzled, “that the hardest thing in the world is profoundly serious work, since every bent line illuminates a straight one. They were all just watching and grunting words of welcome, but not one was swift wind. Yet he felt guiltless, breaking the promises he had made.”

Bullshit stock hype, if you wondered. And I can hardly blame my mail; perhaps the coming AI kernel is building in the relentlessly negative spam-filter hive mind. Each time a nonsense phrase is chancily uplifted to poetic virtue the filter “stumbles” and allows it through.



Sumana 04.08.06 at 11:17 am

“Spam as Folk Art” has a lot of these sorts of examples.


Kappelmeister 04.08.06 at 1:13 pm

“Spamusement” might also be worth checking out, for a juvenile sort of chuckle.


Thor Likes Pizza 04.08.06 at 2:54 pm

There is lots of exciting technology being developed and deployed to get into your inBox.

“Your inBox – the Final Frontier”

To boldly go where no spam has gone before….


Tracy W 04.09.06 at 2:55 am

On the other side, my work’s spam filter decided that an email from a client was “Definitely spam”. Presumably on the basis that there are millions of spammers just waiting to sell the average punter on restringing the Blenheim-Stoke transmission line.


Ginger Yellow 04.10.06 at 4:20 am

It’s things like this that make me love the internet so much. It has, entirely as a byproduct of what most people consider nuisance marketing, created a new literary genre. And yet it’s probably the first really vital machine generated art, which is an achievement in itself.


Jaybird 04.10.06 at 1:15 pm

For a while, my spam contained verses from Zephaniah. I mean, who in the hell even remembers Zephaniah? So I sat down and flipped through it for the first time since I made an effort to read through the Bible in my misguided youth.

It’s a better book than I had forgotten. Chock full of God totally telling us that we can fully expect our candy asses to get kicked any day now. Check it out.


ankh 04.10.06 at 5:27 pm

And someone’s clone of chatbot “Alice” is now being used to push spyware on MSN. Ironies abound.

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