South Park Republican Bingo

Easy to fix. Just remove all the blank spaces in the post. That includes any carriage returns you have entered before the table.

Why do you hate America, Ted? With all due respect, you’re objectively objectively pro-Islamofascist, America-hating anti-family-values traitor.

you’re my hero.

This blog entry took way too much effort to only have 6 comments.

Here’s number 7!

Excellent work – too funny.

Cheers.

U.K. – point taken.

he presentation is funny (to me, anyway).

The content is sad/scary.

Is anyone else disturbed by the coded language here used to disguise a pernicious slur?

The use of the word “Bingo” here has to be one of the most blatant and hateful little pieces of anti-Catholic bigotry I’ve seen since, well, since Pope Benedict XVI changed his lederhosen.

Texas cheerleeding statute was introduced by a Democrat, I’m afraid. Just for the record.

I know, I know, I was shocked, too.

Just 2 weeks ago, I went to the bank with the man I’ve lived with for 10 years so we could open our first joint checking account. A tiny step into the breach for two lifelong commitmentphobes. And just today I learned, courtesy of Ted’s very amusing game, that the good people of Virginia voted last year to make just such a banking arrangement impossible in their state, so deeply do they abhor us. And I hadn’t even heard about this, because the shit is flying so fast and so thick these days that it’s really getting hard to keep up.

I’m rambling here. Sorry to be the skunk at this particular garden party, but I’m honestly wondering how much longer I want to remain in this country. Not a damn thing funny about that.

And there it is people. In black and white for all to see, even those among us who only see black and white. Just one of untold myriad such, seemingly insignifcant in the great scheme of things, unforeseen, but not at all unexpected consequences of this bigotry hate-fest that is being stoked for cynical ends here.

Uncle Kvetch, you have my deepest sympathies for the suffering being inflicted upon you and your partner on account of this utterly bhorrent attempt to wound and maim that with is most sublime and transcendent in our lives, which is love (I’ve heard tell it to be a word that passed Jesus’ lips a time or two). You are most certainly not the skunk, the stench arises from another quarter entirely, it’s source, not that of natural living mammalian hormonal or pheremonal glands but the foul reek of decay, of rot, of mold, of putrefaction, of death.

These Pharisees and hypocrites are saved? Yeah, saved like the strawberries I saved to eat later that I forgot about a few weeks ago. The promise is sweet and fragrant in the begginning but now moldy and rotten throughout.

I wish I could offer Uncle Kvetch something more than the mere words I write here. Some hope to hold onto, a North Star to keep ahead of one, a guide to a true and free America. But my impression is that Uncle Kvetch is somewhat older, I don’t know how old and maybe I’m wrong, but how long this darkness? For teenagers now there’s a lot to feel hopeful about, and even more so for the generation that will follow them. This will not last. And it never does last. And we know that younger generations attitudes towards basic natural human differences (because that’s what the fuck we’re talking about here) is becoming more and more humane and by large increments. But I can easily see this lasting for another six, ten, twelve, maybe even sixteen or twenty years before it gives up its unholy ghost. So I don’t know what to say to someone like Uncle Kvetch. Except to express my outrage and horror at the depraved, cynical, and arbitrary crime which has been and continues to be perpetrated on him and his love. And this, all this suffering being inflicted on fellow human beings is done in the name of the Most High? Sin more adequately describes the perversions and outrages these Pharisees and hypocrites gleefully inflict upon those who have never even done them an iota’s bit of harm. These sanctimonious fools, these worshippers of Mammon, these molestors of the innocent and predators upon the weak, these pillagers of the common good- I declare you outside the Law that binds the human community together in brotherhood and sisterhood and in love, the most sacred. I will not rest until you have slithered back into the margins and beyond, the trash dumps, till you have faded so much from memory that you become known only as a caricature to be ridiculed, a laughing-stock to be jeered at.

I haven’t even been able to bring myself to be able to comment on the post Ted did above, but there it is, human life, and human suffering even wherever you may go, and more and more this term.

I feel anger. I feel outrage. But right now above all I feel shame. Shame and sorrow beyond measure.

First off, I believe the term is “South Park Conservative” not “South Park Republican.” There are a lot of people who claim that South Park tends to promote a conservative agenda, but nobody claims that South Park is consistently Republican.

Second, finding a big list of issues where the conservative position doesn’t track with the South Park position doesn’t prove anything. South Park conservative isn’t meant to be redundant. Obviously, there are a lot of conservative values that aren’t consistent with South Park, especially where religion is concerned. A South Park conservative is someone who rejects the more religiously inspired aspects of social conservatism.

Third, how did “Middle-aged anti-Bush protestors arrested and strip-searched” make the list? I can think of no better example of South Park conservatism than harassing hippies.

I am so sorry, Uncle Kvetch. Barry said what I feel so I won’t say any more, right now.

Uncle Kvetch, My deepest appologies for the pinheads who vote. The family values brigade never met my family, with values like physician-shopping for more prescritions for Valium and Elavil and closet abuse of those drugs, checking out on their responsibilities to their kids and abdicating that responsibility to hired others, and wrecking my stepsiosters car and saying her brother did it.

Everything I learned about monogamy and real family values, the ones that have afforded me a 23-year-and-counting marriage, I learned from my “Uncle Billy and Aunt Richard.” They have almost 40 years together, the record in my family, with my husband and I in second with 23. May we remain as happy and committed and devoted to one another as they have.

Middle aged anti Bush protesters is not the definition of hippies, though maybe it is good enough for South Park conservatives, smug south park conservatives being redundant.

Banning of contracts?? Where is the outrage from the libertarian fraternity?

*sound of crickets*

Oh for Christ’s sake, Robin. There’s no damn “sound of crickets”. Start with Arthur Silber’s blog if you want a bunch of libertarian outrage at this stuff:

http://coldfury.com/reason/index.php

For some more detailed examination of the latest legal outrages, Kip Esquire at kipesquire.powerblogs.com is always good too. And Hit and Run had an item on the Virginia outrage a year ago, back when it was breaking news– they’ve also reported on several of the other bingo squares, most recently I think the Alabama legislator thing.

Really, this sort of formulaic “where’s the outrage” bullshit coming from people who’ve obviously not bothered to look around *at all* is just silly.

kvetch: I dunno. How do you measure relative degrees of exercised-ness? David Boaz, who is executive VP of Cato, wrote an article on Virginia’s history of bigoted legislation for Reason magazine in April:

http://www.reason.com/hod/db042805.shtml

Cato’s policy analysts probably spend more time on economic issues, but that’s Cato’s particular niche. Reason these days is (sadly) more into tangential culture commentary anyway.

In any case, neither is a particularly good barometer of the libertarian movement as a whole. I don’t know that there is such a generalist barometer, frankly. Your typical libertarian blog, for example, will have a distinct specialization– the economists do econ stuff, the rights-theorists do rights theory, etc. Silber makes the “bingo issues” his specialty to a greater degree than most, certainly.

Do South Park Conservatives have a lot of overlap with the typical young ‘n smug, techie-libertarian types? Thinking politics and social organization works like computer algorithms, and they’ve figured it out…

Border-line Asperger’s syndrome might explain a bit of it.

The Kansas legislature is NOT holding debate on evolution vs. intelligent design. The hearings are sponsored by the Kansas Board of Education, which is a separate body with members elected in their own right. It’s probably only a trifling different, but all the more reason you should get it right.

“They’re coming after us, and are more than willing to temporarily cozy up with the religious cons to do it. We can laugh at them, but we do so at our own peril.”

Who’s “us” and “them” here? What seems to be getting missed is that age, not nominal left/right political affiliation is the great divider.

For the record, I’m well to the political left. And like SP’s Matt Stone, I really fucking hate *middle-aged* liberals. “Hippies” who hog the roads in their SUVs, hog the mainstream media airwaves (and the white-collar job market more generally), and whose greed has made buying a property unaffordable for my generation . . . I could go on.

While I don’t like conservatives of my generation, either, they are still to be preferred to sanctimonious middle-aged liberals.
In particular, the youthful Right can hardly be blamed for growing up in the greed-is-good 80s – the decade in which liberals entirely spent sitting on their hands (apart from once going to Live-Aid, perhaps).

So it’s chuffing for me that Doctor Biobrain actually sounds a little bit threatened. It’s been a long time coming, Dr B, but the payback’s going to be a bitch. And the more your generation squeals, the more we’re going to impassively respond that it was *your* generation who invented ageism, anyway, with that “never trust anyone over 30” BS.

Uncle Kvetch,

My point is precisely that I don’t give a damn about the political opinions – past or present, professed or “real” – of those born between 1946 and 1961.

Actions speak louder than opinions, and baby boomers over the last two decades have – by act or omission – thoroughly convinced my generation that boomers are all the same in the end. Like I said, *we* didn’t invent ageism . . .