Doc Socc

by Kieran Healy on September 5, 2007

A new villain is born

Superhero blogging is the province of other members of this collective. But here — via Dan Myers, outgoing chair of the Notre Dame sociology department — is Rory McVeigh, incoming chair of said department, welcoming new grad students to the program. Dan explains the hat in coldly rational terms. But I prefer to think we’re witnessing the birth of a new Supervillain: Doc Socc, whose origin story begins with the mild-mannered but brilliant young Rory being continually passed over when it was time to choose teams in grade school, and who subsequently used his genius to develop the FootieTron (pictured), a prosthetic attachment that enhanced his football skills a millionfold. Once he tried it on, however, an accidental burst of gamma radiation made the device meld with his brain and now Doc Socc is on a quest to make THE WORLD play soccer FOREVER in teams of HIS choosing. Muaahahahahahaha. Special powers: tactical planning, team organization, long throw, kills enemies from a distance with deadly-accurate soccerbomb passes, close up by hacking expertly at their ankles. Noted ability: when captured, convincingly feigns mortal injury (writhes on ground clutching leg or head) to generate diversion and/or sympathy. Then escapes.



ajay 09.05.07 at 4:29 pm

He will ultimately be brought to justice by his arch enemy, Cricketbatman.


rea 09.05.07 at 5:08 pm

Soccer at Notre Dame? Isn’t that like Satan worship in the Sistine Chapel?


astrongmaybe 09.05.07 at 6:05 pm

a) He looks like The Mekon.

b) That should be the ceremonial headwear of judges in football’s various scandals: match-fixing, bet-placing, bung-taking, steroid-using, referee-coining etc.


JP Stormcrow 09.05.07 at 6:11 pm

Somewhere there is a soccer ball with the face of Vincent Price saying “Help me! Help meeee!” Pleeease don’t kick me!”


Shelby 09.05.07 at 7:03 pm

Boot to the head, na, na!


ben wolfson 09.05.07 at 7:05 pm

One can be mortally injured as to the leg?


jamy 09.05.07 at 8:05 pm

I had the privilege of going to grad school with Rory. While I couldn’t have predicted his choice of headgear (I think he was more a baseball guy than a soccer guy), I’m impressed by his willingness to make others feel at ease. Nice to know some things don’t change.


mollymooly 09.05.07 at 8:09 pm

Is there a pun on Soc = Sociology & Soc = Soccer? I have read that Americans pronounce SOC (as in SOC101) as “soash” rather than “sock”. In which case, no there isn’t.


stostosto 09.05.07 at 8:13 pm


Americans pronounce football “soccer”, so who knows.


stostosto 09.05.07 at 8:15 pm

Btw, I think Doc Socc’s mortal enemy is a line referee constantly calling off-side.


ejh 09.05.07 at 11:00 pm

A what?


Zarquon 09.05.07 at 11:33 pm

And he would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for the kid with a red card in his pocket.


the cubist 09.06.07 at 3:13 am

zarquon @12:

And so, after he loses his first ever game–to the resulting penalty shot– Doc Soc carefully places his hands over his ears and twists his own head down and RIPS IT OFF! Still in perfect form and on supervillain automatic, his leftover body drives a leg into Doc’s free head and lofts a high centering floater, a long, long ball here, out– it looks like it’s– up and out of the stadium….Yes! it’s headed for Space! … where he lives yet, a small buckyball in orbit, jostling in among the dead satellite debris, swapping tales with sputniks in the Elegant Graveyard of Lost Machines.


Thomas 09.06.07 at 3:56 am

Gilbert Gottfried will play the role in the movie version.


mollymooly 09.06.07 at 11:13 am

stostosto: yes, and everyone pronounces “Sociology” as “Sociology”. But in “Doc Socc”, “Socc” is an abbreviation of “Soccer” which rhymes with “Doc”. Whereas if spelled “Doc Soc”, it might equally be an abbreviation of “Sociology”, provided that such abbreviation would also rhyme with “Doc”.


ejh 09.06.07 at 11:49 am

How does one pronounce the “Socs” in SE Hinton’s The Outsiders? I’ve not seen the film…


ajay 09.06.07 at 4:51 pm

6: indeed one can. Open the femoral artery and you’ve got 30-60 seconds left to live before you bleed out. Femoral’s awkward to put direct pressure on, too. Best bet is put a dressing over it and your boot on the dressing.
Popliteal artery, probably a bit longer, but not much. A sharp blow to the femoral artery can also cause unconsciousness.


mollymooly 09.06.07 at 4:59 pm

Wikipedia says “The Socs (pronounced soashes, an abbreviation of the Socials).” For caveats re: authoritativeness of Wikipedia, see other CT posts, and the interwebs passim.


mollymooly 09.06.07 at 4:59 pm

How did Nancy Mitford pronounce “Hons”?


dave heasman 09.06.07 at 6:12 pm

“Wikipedia says “The Socs (pronounced soashes, an abbreviation of the Socials).””

So do I, I remember the fillum. Though I’m losing the “ghost electricity” battle.

Justin – the touch-judge.


speedymom 09.06.07 at 7:59 pm

Stostoto — It’s not that Americans pronounce “football” as “soccer” — rather it’s Europeans who pronounce “soccer” as “football.”


ejh 09.06.07 at 10:02 pm

Justin – the touch-judge.

Hah, very good.

For the origins of “soccer” I’d like to refer readers to an article I wrote for When Saturday Comes nearly twenty years ago but I’m afraid that’s as accurate as I can be and I don’t think an academic blog will accept that sort of loose citation.

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