What is it that the right has against sheep? Newt Gingrich’s “press secretary”:http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2011/05/inside_the_mind_of_newt.php today.
bq. The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.
It’s a relief to know that Newt has emerged unscathed from his gunfight with the clip-of-smoking-tweets-unloading cocktail-quaffing literati-sheep. But, to be frank, they don’t sound very hard. Would he be able to take on tougher ungulates, such as David Brooks’ “squadrons of venom-unleashing rabid command-lambs?”:https://crookedtimber.org/2006/06/25/who-will-save-the-gray-lady-from-the-clutches-of-the-fascist-octopus/ Or, for that matter, Carly Fiorina’s evil red-eyed “demon-sheep thing in conservative’s clothing?”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRY7wBuCcBY Your guess is as good as mine, but I imagine that there’s a “Jeff Minter video game”:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ibHqKEZwc in it.
Update: “Chris Y”:https://crookedtimber.org/2011/05/18/the-war-against-sheep/comment-page-1/#comment-360314 composes a villanelle in comments.
In times when coward literati must
Send armed sheep minions into the attack,
A man emerges from the smoke and dust.
A lesser person could not take the flack,
The tweets and trivia put him to the rack
In times when coward literati must.
See him rise up above the snapping pack!
The ovine hordes, confounded, must fall back.
A man emerges from the smoke and dust.
Except it’s not like that at all. In fact
No air time, column inches did he lack
In times when coward literati must.
With all their aid and comfort, out of whack,
He couldn’t keep his damned campaign on track.
A man emerges from the smoke and dust.
I just don’t understand this wretched hack.
Perhaps he’s using PCP or crack?
In times when coward literati must
A man emerges from the smoke and dust.