Hungry Blog

by Belle Waring on November 7, 2015

Woop, I turn around for one second, completely ignoring my past self who was all, “Belle, just put some words or music or something on your blog! It’s not brain surgery, and Ben Carson is a brain surgeon, so….” and the result is that our blog stagnates! Well, no more of that. I’m saying stuff. Stuff like, you should listen to this insanely good Breakwater song, “We’re Going to Work it Out”!

So mellow, with a Latin swing thing happening. Also, this rubby-dubby sound like someone was rubbing on a balloon; what is that even, well-informed commentariat?

In not-mellow-at-all-bummer news we have this article on Deadspin documenting a case in which NFL player Greg Hardy assaulted his girlfriend. It’s an excellent piece that pulls together evidence that seems to have been publicly available for some time. Hardy was both charged and convicted (unusual for DV cases, especially with a powerful man involved), but the case was overturned on appeal and then expunged. I wasn’t aware this could even happen except when the Innocence Project proves that a person was unjustly put on death row, but in principle it’s an intuitive mechanism. The criminal justice system needs to be able to say, not merely “not guilty” but affirmatively “innocent.” This could be useful–in other cases.

There are photos of the woman’s injuries, and it may be that, as in the Ray Rice situation, the visual imagery will make an impact where the conviction (howsoever temporary) did not. Wait, except Ray Rice got the charges against him exchanged for some anger management or something? Well, we can say his career was permanently injured.

Greg Hardy is a better player than Rice and more valuable to his team, so they are probably backing him up all the way (even when he gets in a fight with coaching staff! Special Teams, tho, the B-list coaches.) Part of Hardy’s defense involved the ludicrous claim that, given how much stronger and bigger he was than the victim, the woman should have been much injured more seriously. Like, if he had assaulted her, her mere beatdown couldn’t have happened. This makes less than zero sense (people can’t hold back?) and I believe it has the dubious distinction of being shared with Mike Tyson’s DV defense back in the 90s. From the Deadspin post.

When asked to explain Holder’s injuries during his bench trial, he and Curtis would testify that Holder had jumped into the bathtub, then thrown herself on the couch, and then went crazy trying to attack Hardy. Hardy’s lawyer, Chris Fialko, would assert that Holder must have caused the injuries to herself. If the 290-lb. pass rusher had really wanted to hurt a woman who weighed well less than half what he did, his argument went, the damage would have been a lot worse.

Riiiiiight. My eyes are oscillating like unhinged gyroscopes, back, back, ever back. I can only see darkness and brain now.

The following statement came after the fight with the special teams coach, but listen to the leadershippy leadership of the owner of the world’s most hated football franchise: “[Greg Hardy’s], of course, one of the real leaders on this team and he earns it and he earns it with respect from all of his teammates and that’s the kind of thing that inspires a football team,” [Cowboys owner Jerry] Jones said. Mmm, taste the respect of a dude who flips the coaches clipboard up in his face on the field.

Although Deadspin is mostly a snarky sports blog that tells you why your NFL team sucks, it is also at times serious investigative journalism. They broke the Te’o Manti catfishing thing too. (I can’t summarize it, really.) In cases like these the established sports media seem disinclined to look too carefully into anything.



Misterfranklin 11.07.15 at 3:32 pm

I believe the balloon sound is a cuíca.


Bill Benzon 11.07.15 at 4:34 pm

“rubby-dubby sound”

You mean the bass, but without any ‘edge’ to it?


The Temporary Name 11.07.15 at 4:40 pm

I think it’s what starts at 2:15.


The Temporary Name 11.07.15 at 4:49 pm

Which just sounds like Biz Markie doing his thing.


jackrousseau 11.07.15 at 5:05 pm

I think Beck used the same squeaky noise on Tropicalia, from Mutations. Maybe it’s an actual instrument…

As for powerful men getting away with domestic abuse… at least public opinion is against him this time. I think there were days where that couldn’t be guaranteed.


Mdc 11.07.15 at 6:25 pm


The Temporary Name 11.07.15 at 6:37 pm

I can’t see Mdc’s video but maybe a guiro?


Mdc 11.07.15 at 7:03 pm



jackrousseau 11.07.15 at 7:28 pm

Hey, that checks out, the song I posted is on the list of songs that use a Cuica on Wikipedia. Neat.


Ben 11.07.15 at 8:40 pm

Drew Magary guest post. I MUST HAVE IT.


Lee A. Arnold 11.07.15 at 10:23 pm

I really like this brilliant fusion out of another 1970’s genre:

The Wild Feathers, “The Ceiling” (2013)


Pete 11.07.15 at 11:52 pm

See also football finance, from Blatter to the Rangers tax case. The media print what they’re given.


William Burns 11.08.15 at 12:30 am

As a resident of the Nation’s capital, I resent the implication that another NFL franchise is more hated than ours.


oldster 11.08.15 at 1:05 pm

So, by common consensus this Hardy matter is simply too depressing to talk about?

Yeah, that’s my take as well.


Lynne 11.08.15 at 1:38 pm

@14 Yes.


John Garrett 11.08.15 at 2:44 pm

I’ve watched football (US) all my life, but quit completely this year after a guy I went to high school with who became a pro lineman developed early alzheimers, and more data came out. It’s quite wonderful: when the Patriots are playing, New England is open to me, everything is accessible, no traffic, no crowds anywhere (except bars). Try it, you’ll feel better and like it!



Tabasco 11.08.15 at 10:07 pm

Is Mr Hardy’s victim going to bring a civil suit, OJ-style?


Ebenezer Scrooge 11.09.15 at 12:25 am


JimV 11.09.15 at 3:31 am

In response to 17 (Tabasco), my guess is the victim was paid by Hardy in return for not cooperating with the re-trial by jury after the trial-by-judge conviction, and would have signed away the right to a civil suit as part of the deal. Had she intended to bring a civil suit, she should have cooperated with the re-trial, since a conviction there would help with the civil suit. I think that is what a lawyer would tell her.

Or she might have been threatened and intimidated into non-cooperation, in which case a civil suit would also be unlikely. Or she might want to forget the situation and not have to deal with it any more. I can’t think of any case where non-cooperation with the re-trial would make proceeding with a civil suit likely.

(For those who like to read things into Internet comments that aren’t there, no condemnation of the victim is intended by me, nor do I think I would have behaved in a more heroic way in a similar situation.)


Belle Waring 11.09.15 at 5:33 am

JimV: weirdly it seems as if they wouldn’t have needed new testimony from the victim on appeal, if everything were normal. It was admitted into evidence for the bench trial and so a judge had already deemed it legit, as I understand? But the prosecutors said the “inconsistencies” between her initial testimony to the cops and her testimony in court were enough to get it thrown out (I realize this sounds not-prosecutorial, but…) There were minor inconsistencies, like how she said at trial she testified that he had torn a necklace off her and tried to flush it down the toilet, and then slammed the toilet seat on her arm, something which she hadn’t mentioned at first. But there were huge discrepancies in his (risible) versions of the story at various times, way more than that. So, I don’t know. I mean, I agree it’s most likely that she accepted money in exchange for her non-testimony, but I think they could have easily tried him again regardless, had they wanted to, which they did not.

William Burns: living in Singapore for 15 years has made me a former football fan because I won’t watch a taped game (I just can’t be excited if the outcome is pre-determined, even if unknown to me. It saps all the joy out of it. Unless it’s some crazy, “let’s watch the 1967 Ice Bowl for historical reasons” thing.) But I spent my days as first a “poorly-named-D.C.-team” (I have always called them the Redskins, naturally; but also support a name change, naturally) fan and then as a 49ers fan in California when I was in grad school. This transition of loyalties occurred using a pivot point of hatred for the Dallas Cowboys, the nation’s most-loathed franchise. That’s science fact, not fiction, broseph. So much so that when my daughter’s new teacher played “two truths and a lie” at the start of the term, and one of the things was “I am a Dallas Cowboys fan” she guessed correctly that the other two things must be true, since no right-thinking person would be a Cowboys fan. And she doesn’t know anything about football! Except what I tell her, obviously, but it’s funny she would remember it. I have shown my kids about how it was funny to hate and then briefly love, and hate again Deion “PRIMETIME” Sanders, and so I played them a highlights reel on youtube. Violet: “that guy just fell down like 5 m from him for no reason! What? And how could they not stop him if they’re at one end and he’s running all the way from the other side? It’s like he has the Luigi invincibility star.” So that’s what my kids know about football: hate the Cowboys, and Deion Sanders had the Luigi invincibility star sometimes. Also, Steve Young was hotter in the day than Tom Insufferable Brady. Wait, and that Steve Young/Jerry Rice were the best QB-receiver team ever. Peyton Manning doesn’t count. Stupid Peyton Manning.


William Burns 11.09.15 at 3:46 pm

I was a 49ers fan myself in the 80s, and I’m sorry, saying Young/Rice was the best QB receiver team ever is only half-right. Montana/Rice forever!

As for the DC team, it has an appallingly racist nickname, a history of racism going back to revered founder George Preston Marshal, and Dan Snyder. And even that isn’t enough to be the most hated? Your standards are high.


Chadwick Crawford 11.09.15 at 4:22 pm

This is a marvelous example of the cuica in action.


Bill Hamlin 11.09.15 at 6:02 pm

How much punishment is enough? This is a current topic with people who are jailed for possession of drugs, and it follows you all your life. Punishment is fine, but then we should move on.


Longitudinally Enabled 11.11.15 at 12:39 am

I heartily endorse whatever the hell Mr Hamlin is trying to say.

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