The World Cup is only a week away, which means there is actually a reason to be in Tucson in June, if like me you (i) want to watch the games but (ii) are too cheap to buy the cable package and (iii) only have a useless old TV in the garage somewhere. (We’re close enough to the border to pick up the Mexican stations.) Here is a self-hating Englishman, deciding to support Germany because English footballers are oiks and English football fans are thugs. At least you’re in the competition, mate, unlike some countries I could mention. (Here is some nostalgia. It’s all we have.) Given Ireland’s regrettable absence, I think I will be cheering for the Socceroos, seeing as my daughter was born in Canberra. The Aussies have to play Brazil in their group. Probably their best bet is to hope the Brazilians will be confused by the Australian kit, which looks a lot like Brazil’s. I’m also hoping that the U.S. team does well, just because it will piss off the footie snobs.
Meanwhile, here are two terrific bits of World Cup commentary, both much better than the now-hackneyed “Gol” guy: a clip in Arabic from Kuwait vs Czechoslovakia in 1982, and one in Dutch from the last minute of Holland vs Argentina in 1998. Both commentaries are out there in the realm of religious/sexual ecstasy.