In a world…

My favorite spoof of movie cliches is right here, but the good people at Fametracker are having some fun with them in this discussion thread.

Highlights from the comments:

* “Whenever watching a chase scene in a cop movie, there will always be a chain link fence that the bad guy hops over that will either make or break the chase. What is the deal with that??!! Chasing after a serial killer in the middle of the woods in Alaska? Watch out for that chain link fence. Chasing a kidnapper in a Louisiana moat? Watch out for that chain link fence. No matter the location, there will always be that handy dandy chain link fence there, for which to make the getaway easier or more complicated for the pursuer. I live in South Jersey and have yet to find a respectable chain link fence to scale if ever I was being chased by the law.”

* “My problem with the use of bullet-time in movies now is that at least in The Matrix, it was explained away because they did not fight in the real world and thus defied the laws of physics. Now? Moviemakers just expect us to accept the fact that Charlie’s f**king Angels exist outside the realm of reality.”

* “‘Something important, name, something important.’ Used when a character is about to drop a big-ass revelation on another character. ‘Just try your best, Johnny. Just try your best.’ ‘It was her all along, Anna. It was her all along.’ Who the hell talks like that?”

* “It way not be visual, but a cliche that needs to be stopped and shot dead is the ironically named desert town. Come vist Prosperity, Arizona. Stay awhile in Perfection, Nevada. Welcome to Not Desolate Or Bleak, New Mexico.”

* “Another cliche is that no matter how decent, sober, reasonably good looking, gainfully employed someone might be, if they wear glasses and/or have a few allergies, they are automatically a loser and deserve to be unceremoniously dumped for no good reason without any regard for their feelings. (See Sleepless in Seattle)”

* “I really really hate when people drink cappucino and get foam on their upper lip or nose. Who does that? No one. Because most people have depth perception. Plus, if you do get it that far up, you’ll probably also spill scalding hot coffee on yourself. Don’t be dumb, movie people. Don’t be dumb.”

* “Being the surprise final shooter of the lead bad guy is an incredibly exhausting task. Once the bad guy slowly realizes he’s been shot and falls to reveal the “surprise” shooter, the shooter drops the gun and is always gasping for air like he just ran a marathon.”

* “‘It’s quiet!’

‘Too quiet!’

Why is never exactly right amount of quiet? Dammit.”

* “The Billowing Curtains of Egress: A movie hero who has been falsely accused of a crime will end up in a motel/hotel room of some sort, trying to clear his name. When the cops inevitably turn up and bang on the door, the hero will freeze for a moment. If he has a companion, they stare at each other.

Cut to the fuzz knocking down the door. Pan around the room to reveal… nobody. End pan at an open window, where a set of curtains, usually white and diaphanous, will be blowing in the wind. Cut to the head cop, who will sigh and/or have a bemused expression on his/her face.”