by John Holbo on June 6, 2007

Our Harry writes:

We had a scare last year; our eldest was warned that she might need very expensive orthodontistry in order to be able to be a fully-paid up participant in the ideology of perfect teeth.

It seems to me that the answer to this problem is to combine it with themes we have seen of late. Heterodontics will be like heterodox economics (heteronomics, if you don’t mind thorough butchery of etymology), but about your teeth. Then, if things get really bad, just go to a freakodontist. (Since poor dental care is a problem in America, as Harry points out, maybe you could get some right-wing thinktank money to sponsor a study of the surprising value, to the poor, of freakodontics.)



Rich B. 06.06.07 at 1:46 pm

Then, if things get really bad, just go to a freakodontist.

This post demonstrates a horribly — possibly dangerous — misunderstanding of Freakodontics.

While you may want Freakodontics to say that the child at issue does not really need braces, the problem is that it will inevitably conclude — following a rough correlation study of orthodontics and future earnings — that your daughters braces are significantly UNDERpriced based on the expected increase in earnings as a result of the teeth straightening procedure.

It will then proceed to show how, if food and medical aid to third world countries were transferred from AIDS drugs to dental and orthodontic care, the rate of increase of the gross domestic product of Botswana would nearly double.


notsneaky 06.06.07 at 4:40 pm

Finally! I’ve been waiting for someone to make this joke (and afraid to make it myself) for several days now. John gets the props for courage.

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