My dear Mr. Quiggan …

Mr. Quahog, I object in the most strenuous terms to this post. I trust I have made myself clear.

My Dearest Darlingest Vice-Admiral Qwlghm (Retd. (Mrs.))

I am aware of all internet traditions.

Your ignoreance of the profound works of the 20th centuries greatest philosophers: Immanuel Kant, Hannah Arendt and Jonah Goldberg viz. what your’re real name is laughable were the stakes not so high.

You’ll note that in a later post, the Quigganer amends it to “Mr McQuiggin”.

It wouldn’t be patronising to use ‘John’, but because of the ‘My dear, and the omission of relevant titles, the tone is deliberately patronising. It’s a very far cry, for example, from the formal and respectful German: “Sehr geehrte Herr Professor Doktor Quiggin” …

I am reminded of a wonderful exchange from James Clavell’s Tai Pan, between a supercilious aristocrat, and Tyler Brock, a hard man who’s risen the hard way but knows his business inside-out.

” “I quite agree, Your Excellency,” the general said. “And I suggest further that this problem is solely one for the authorities to decide: … It’s not in the domain of tradespeople.”

“I baint yor good sir. I be a China trader, by God, and the sooner thee knows it the better. The time be gone forever when the like of me’s to suck thy arse ’cause of a poxy title which like as not were gifted first to a king’s whore, a king’s bastard, or buyed by knife in a king’s back.” “

Sorry I’ve been guilty of a faux pas. I didn’t realise ProfQ was for your friends. I thought it was a kind of semi-formal address, such as a severe critic of your attitude towards Julia Gillard might use, for example.

Oh well another mistake for my fervid critics to pounce on I suppose. ‘And you got the way of addressing John Quiggin wrong, you complete misandrist!’

Apologies for not getting it.

danah boyd‘s preference for writing her name all-lowercase works as a particularly good filter. Whenever I find an article that capitalizes her name, I can be pretty certain it’s not worth reading.

Perhaps more celebrities should insert that kind of shibboleth into their names. It works a bit like that Van Halen rider about the M&Ms, to unmask the incompetent as quickly as possible.

[danah’s name is, alas, somewhat less effective a filter now she’s reasonably famous, rather than just Some Blogger. Used to be almost 100% accurate, though]

Dear Master Qui-gon Jinn,

Is it ethical to use jedi mind tricks to steal from local merchants, if it is in service of a greater cause, like aiding the Galactic Republic against the Sith?

I get my name regularly misspelled (“Freeman” instead of “Freeland”) and don’t really understand the process that produces it. But without doubt, a comment that begins:

Mr. Freeman:

Is going to be assholish, probably making unreasonable demands of a particular response (say, attributing to me a belief I don’t remotely hold, usually belonging to some bizarre radical left sect, and demanding I justify that belief), and is going to be written in an extremely stilted style to the point of being indistinguishable from parody (see parody examples above).

when not why.

/Sorry still drinking my first cup of coffee.

Error rate on spelling my last name is very high from everyone, even “when all that is needed is to transcribe the text in front of them”, so it doesn’t serve as a good marker of anything.

I still need to do a Google search and then copy-and-paste whenever I write “Michael Bérubé” because I still don’t know how to type the accent marks.

My Dear Mr. Queequeg,

Git yer harpoon out of my Pequod.

That is all.

When I write a friendly comment, I use the original poster’s first name or I say Prof. X. When I write a hostile comment, I say Prof. X. I worry that it may be taken as sarcastic. But Dr. X would be even more likely to be taken as sarcastic, Mr. X might give offense, first-name only might be read as condescending, and for perhaps the past 100 years no title (“My dear Quiggin”) has been viewed as rude, so Prof seems to be the best option.

Ha Ha Palindrome @ 13 – very good!!

In a suitable hybrid gaming universe, Master Qui-gon Jonn slays the zombies of the Trade Federation and their government stooges. JQ – if I were you, I’d almost be tempted to change my name – or at least use a suitable picture of Liam Neeson for my twitter account! :D

ASCII, dammit.

Somehow I missed that post when you first put it up. That was a great summary of an interesting debate and clever biblical quote? reference? I’m not sure. But I’ll keep that one in mind.

As a rule I don’t use my last name. I’m working on one of those trombone things like Prince used to have.

I haunt some blogs that focus on legal issues. I’ve noticed that anyone who refers to Ruth Bader Ginsburg as “Ginsberg” invariably is not only critical on the merits of the subject under discussion but, shall we say, inappropriate in other ways.

Cool, The Temporary Name. I’m pretty sure that whatever I looked up before wasn’t that.

“John Q. Public” is more popular, but I’ve also seen “T. C. Mits”, short for “The Celebrated Man in the street”

Is this just me? Do other bloggers and commenters find that particular forms of address predict the content of comments? And, if so, which ones?

I find that comments using the “Hey Shithead!” form of address are generally somewhat impolitic. Also those recommending some fuck-related activity.

danah boyd‘s preference for writing her name all-lowercase works as a particularly good filter.

I find this affectation strangely irritating, probably more than I should. Just one data point.

uses AN outdated and judgmental term. My kingdom for an edit button.

What are some non-blogging uses of a title that indicate forthcoming disagreement?

Isn’t that what one expects in the Commons when invoking “the Right Honourable …”?

Hum, ive been told by a Prof we should not add both the Dr. and the Prof. “sehr geehrte Frau Prof.” its supposed to be. But im inclinded to be rather save than sorry and write all titles. For example considering things like a ” youre the ones showing no respect im 3 levels above you with my 2 master, Ph.D. and Professorship, when you need something from me you suddenly are able to write all titles ” speach after he got his (sort of deserved) bad teaching evaluation. If you are a student in Leipzig, its sehr geehrter Herr Professorin. Students are “studierende” in most places now i think.

hix@43 … sehr geehrte Herr Professorin? :D

I originally learned my German in Austria, where, if they bother at all, they turn on the formal politeness and titles in spades. Things are still a bit more egalitarian in the “ehemalige sogennante DDR”*. I do remember a bemused conversation once amongst my (Ossi) Berlin relatives about why on earth a masseuse should be ‘eine masseusein‘.

*= ‘former so-called German Democratic Republic’.

An esteemed Board of Directors: http://www.oiucmed.com/bod.html

Not sure why they don’t include “Director” in their titles, but there you go.

In replying to blog posts, I use the exact name the poster supplied: for example, MPAVictoria or John Quiggin, and (usually) bolded. This doesn’t work in meatspace or in formal written communication, of course, and problems arise with gender-ambiguous names like Joyce, Carol, Sidney (and Evelyn!).

Salutations are always touchy. I have a PhD, but am never called “Doctor”, nor would I wish to be. But my business card (when I worked for US EPA) read “Firstname Lastname, PhD; Senior Chemist” despite the fact that no such job title existed. I was told by a close friend that in Japan, no lesser title or rank would render me worthy of being noticed — except at the very highest level, where the bare name could be used without any adornment. Is this in fact true, or is it nonsense (and a bit xenophobic)?

#30 – you may already know this, and it’s off-topic in any event, but — the novel Silas Timberman, by Howard Fast (1954), has a scene in which the hero is being interviewed for an academic job. The interviewer asks about his name because he’s “interested in geneology” and Timberman explains that his family is Minnesota Norwegian and he’s not sure how they wound up as Timberman – perhaps an Anglicization of a Norwegian name. We the readers understand that the interviewer is concerned that Timberman might be Jewish, but Silas doesn’t pick this up.

It isn’t just the addressee of a comment which carries useful information. In the context of UK politics, anybody referring to Bliar, Camoron or Gideon can and should be ignored without further ado.*

*Criticising any or all of them is of course absolutely fine. Thinking that playground name calling is a useful substitute for such criticism is not.

Ms./Mr./Dr./Professor Nobody:

Though your post was modestly interesting and on-point, recognizing your existence isn’t worth my time of day for reasons I don’t care to provide or even reflect on.

Oh, he’s a live one.
He(?) can’t even keep to one spelling. Here he calls you “Mr. McQuiggin”.
https://crookedtimber.org/2014/10/02/render-unto-caesar-2/comment-page-2/#comment-572301
It’s obviously a rather adolescent deliberate attempt to yank your chain.

If there is going to be a contest….

Matrisciano.

The most common misspelling is to “Mast….” — which is odd, really, given that the rest of it is the complicated part.

But very simple names also get misspelled a lot, especially first names. For that matter, people responding to comments of mine here and elsewhere often address or refer to me as “Jamie.” Understandable, perhaps, given my handle, but still, my handle is “text right there in front of them.”

Ha yes you people with your complicated names – talking of simple names, my surname is Kay. Nothing could be simpler but people get it wrong all the time. It’s the phenomenon of a surname that sounds like a first name.

I used to work in an organisation that put your name on emails as Surname, Firstname. So people would get emails from me as Kay, Valerie and even some of those who knew me in person, and normally called me Val, would still send me emails beginning Dear Kay. And then sometimes people get muddled when they talk to you because they can’t remember which is your actual name, just that they’re probably going to get it wrong.

And then! there is a porn star who has the same name as me (I had it first). Don’t get me started.

My Dear Lt. Cmdr. Queeg

I ate the f(*$&in ice cream, so stop bitching about it. After all, as the eminent thinker Spicoli noted, if I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our time? Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with a little feast on our time.

A names post has to have at least one link in it to this classic Monty Python bit:

Marek @53 “In the context of UK politics, anybody referring to Bliar, Camoron or Gideon can and should be ignored without further ado.”

I agree that an insulting nickname does not help a serious argument. However, it is a mistake to think of language as merely a medium of exchange for facts and ideas. Language has many other uses, including to assert dominance, or as a brutal emotional assault weapon. Politics is, alas, not about reason, and a clever nickname or insult, if it sticks, can seriously damage an opponent. For example, News Of The Screws was a very appropriate expression of contempt for the late, unlamented, rag. And who can think of Michael Howard without remembering “something of the night”?

Of course, insults are often over-used and some people are nowhere near as clever as they think they are.

The rise of the internet has revealed the large number of cranks that are out there, and I suppose given them their chance to be heard. The question that this post raises is, “Why are there cranks?” It seems like a universal human social phenomenon. What is it with cranks anyway? The stilted and unobservant form of address is probably a symptom of the condition. (I’m not suggesting that they don’t, at least potentially, have a valuable role to play in the discussion as a whole.)

There is some way of starting a post with “Yes Bianca” or “Well Bianca” or something along those lines that sets my teeth on edge and makes me certain what comes next is going to be condescending or nasty.

Also, if someone starts out by calling me “Nancy”–which is not my name, and doesn’t sound like my name, but which a surprisingly large number of people remember (or pretend to remember) to be my name–that is a bad sign.

Also, starting with ” you ignorant slut”: probably not good.

Also, for a long time, I misremembered and misunderstood the part in the story “In this time, of that place,” where the Trilling stand-in complains that his landlady’s daughter has called him “Professor,” and probably insulted some people as a result.

mds: If I were distributing internets, you could claim… … several.

My best laugh in a long time.

I have the opposite problem; nobody misspells the fifth must common surname in the English speaking world (apart from sometimes confusing me with one of the “vis” heathens) but an awful lot of people mispronounce it. In the USA I have actually given up the battle and started giving my name at reception desks as “Day-veez” to save time.

What is it with cranks anyway?

Pushing on them makes make bicycles go, and presumably the same applies to the internet.

I like the idea of referring to JQ as just “Q”, it has that air of “if I told you I’d have to kill you” about it. But perhaps that’s not ideal on a popular economics blog.

In the USA I have actually given up the battle and started giving my name at reception desks as “Day-veez” to save time.

If it’s any consolation, and I’m sure it isn’t, it was pretty damn embarrassing to realize that I had been mispronouncing Ray Davies’ last name for years while considering the Kinks one of my most loved bands.

74: thanks, you just made my morning. Sasquatch isreal, indeed.

mds @ #74: archy was too lightweight to depress the [shift] key by jumping on it. Once, however, the [caps lock] key got turned on when Mehitabel made a leap for him while he was typing, and the rest of the poem read like shouting.

My first impulse, on reading, was to post a comment starting somewhat like
My Dear Mr. (misspelled name here) and then have it be a lot of over-effusive praise.

I haven’t managed to read through the whole thread to see if anyone else had the same idea, after the first half of it seemed to be mainly people having the opposite idea.