RUSH LIMBAUGH: There’s so much fraud. Snerdly came in today ‘what’s this NASA news, this NASA news is all exciting.’ I said yeah they found flowing water up there. ‘No kidding! Wow! Wow!’ Snerdly said ‘flowing water!?’ I said ‘why does that excited you? What, are you going there next week? What’s the big deal about flowing water on Mars?’ ‘I don’t know man but it’s just it’s just wow!’ I said ‘you know what, when they start selling iPhones on Mars, that’s when it’ll matter to me.’ I said ‘what do you think they’re gonna do with this news?’ I said ‘look at the temperature data, that has been reported by NASA, has been made up, it’s fraudulent for however many years, there isn’t any warming, there hasn’t been for 18.5 years. And yet, they’re lying about it. They’re just making up the amount of ice in the North and South Poles, they’re making up the temperatures, they’re lying and making up false charts and so forth. So what’s to stop them from making up something that happened on Mars that will help advance their left-wing agenda on this planet?’ And Snerdly paused ‘oh oh yeah you’re right.’ You know, when I play golf with excellent golfers, I ask them ‘does it ever get boring playing well? Does it ever get boring hitting shot after shot where you want to hit it?’ And they all look at me and smile and say ‘never.’ Well folks, it never gets boring being right either. Like I am. But it doesn’t mean it is any less frustrating. Being right and being alone is a challenging existence. OK so there’s flowing water on Mars. Yip yip yip yahoo. You know me, I’m science 101, big time guy, tech advance it, you know it, I’m all in. But, NASA has been corrupted by the current regime. I want to find out what they’re going to tell us. OK, flowing water on Mars. If we’re even to believe that, what are they going to tell us that means? That’s what I’m going to wait for. Because I guarantee, let’s just wait and see, this is September 28, let’s just wait and see. Don’t know how long it’s going to take, but this news that there is flowing water on Mars is somehow going to find its way into a technique to advance the leftist agenda. I don’t know what it is, I would assume it would be something to do with global warming and you can — maybe there was once an advanced civilization. If they say they found flowing water, next they’re going to find a graveyard.
I dunno. I’m going to wait for the movie. I figure in 20 years, they’ll do a remake of The Martian, with Chris Farley’s re-animated corpse as Rush Limbaugh, in Matt Damon’s role. Only this time, NASA will be trying to keep him on Mars so he can’t talk radio back about how the lack of flowing water on Mars proves there’s no global warming on Earth. But then Deja Thoris falls in love with him, because the lighter atmosphere makes him a tremendous golfer. And he teams up with Tars Tarkas – who has four arms, ergo can hit two golf balls at once.
{ 33 comments }
Rakesh 09.29.15 at 5:10 am
Can’t figure out which is funnier–the quote or the comment. Good stuff! Just surprised that Limbaugh can speak for that long about water or anything really without mentioning how Hilary Clinton has used the California drought to advance her feminista-nazi agenda.
Belle Waring 09.29.15 at 5:26 am
OK, I LoLed. Well played, Holbo.
Rakesh 09.29.15 at 5:41 am
Why is Limbaugh so sure that NASA (as part of state monopoly capitalism) has not discovered an opportunity for super-profitable investment on Mars or at least as good an opportunity for real investment that investors now have on Earth?
NY Times, Sept. 25 2015
Investors Are Mining for Water, the Next Hot Commodity
By NELSON D. SCHWARTZ
CADIZ, Calif. — Gazing out of a turboprop high above his company’s main
asset — 34,000 acres in the Mojave Desert with billions of gallons of
fresh water locked deep below the sagebrush-dotted land — Scott Slater
paints a lush picture that has enticed a hardy band of investors for a
quarter-century.
Yes, Mr. Slater admits, his company, Cadiz, has never earned a dime from
water. And he freely concedes it will take at least another $200 million
to dig dozens of wells, filter the water and then move it 43 miles
across the desert through a new pipeline before thirsty Southern
Californians can drink a drop.
But tapping cash, as opposed to actual water, has never been a problem
for Cadiz. “I think there’s plenty of money out there,†Mr. Slater said.
Real profits may be nearly as scarce as snow in the High Sierra, but
Wall Street, as it is wont to do, smells profit as California endures
its worst drought in decades.
“Investing in the water industry is one of the great opportunities for
the coming decades,†said Matthew J. Diserio of Water Asset Management,
a New York firm that is a major backer of Cadiz. “Water is the scarce
resource that will define the 21st century, much like plentiful oil
defined the last century.â€
bad Jim 09.29.15 at 6:20 am
http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/why-is-there-a-drought-in-california/
(snip)
Peter T 09.29.15 at 6:53 am
Ben Carson’s website will soon be selling gauze masks impregnated with special chemicals that protect against con-trails.
Belle Waring 09.29.15 at 7:07 am
ITS CHEMTRAILS PETER DONT AKNOWLEDGE THE CONSPIRACY!
bad Jim 09.29.15 at 7:24 am
It’s as nothing compared to Carly Fiorina’s feverish imagining of a Planned Parenthood strawman: “If I only had a brain!”
John Holbo 09.29.15 at 9:05 am
Hmmm, now I can’t remember whether Burroughs attributed John Carter’s 30-foot leaps to low gravity or thinner atmosphere. I remember it being the latter, but the former would make more sense, eh?
Niall McAuley 09.29.15 at 10:43 am
Gutenberg has a version of A Princess of Mars: My muscles, perfectly attuned and accustomed to the force of gravity on Earth, played the mischief with me in attempting for the first time to cope with the lesser gravitation and lower air pressure on Mars.
Niall McAuley 09.29.15 at 10:46 am
Carson was of course, of Venus, Carter of Mars.
Lee A. Arnold 09.29.15 at 11:35 am
In the book “Rush of Venus”, Limbaugh lands in a spaceship on the planet Venus, to learn that it is entirely covered by clouds of sulfur dioxide and sulfuric acid, the atmosphere is carbon dioxide, and the temperature on the surface is 467 ËšC, or 872 ËšF. (He could have read that much on Wikipedia.) The ruined Venusian inhabitants, or what remains of them, live underground and use cigars for money, and they inform him, gibbering remarkably like the Terran climate denialists, that 200 years ago Venus had a thriving oil-based economy and a US-style Republican Party, and everything is all right!
MattF 09.29.15 at 12:34 pm
My guess is that Limbaugh is targeting those nasty librul scientists who are funded by NASA. A good general heuristic for figuring out the point of his rants is to look for a target– it’s usually obvious, but sometimes you have to be in on the joke.
Niall McAuley 09.29.15 at 12:41 pm
The supposed high surface temperature on Venus is due to the greenhouse effect of CO2 in the atmosphere and hence is clearly left-wing and false.
Back in the day, people thought Venus had clouds because it was a swampy dinosaur world, and things believed back in the day are all true.
Anonymous 09.29.15 at 12:42 pm
Tars Tarkas may have 4 arms but Rush won’t even need clubs. That low gravity and thin atmosphere; with one bellow he can just blow the t-ball about a mile down the fairway.
Putting will be another matter. Putting requires finesse.
Greg 09.29.15 at 1:36 pm
I’m glad Rush is never bored by being right all the time. He could be an excellent golfer too if you could only just hit the ball and then build an imaginary golf course around where your shot landed.
Barry Freed 09.29.15 at 2:00 pm
Forget that nonsense about selling iPhones on Mars. I imagine Rush will get interested in Mars when they have underage sex tourism there.
Dave 09.29.15 at 2:07 pm
Oh Snerdly, there he goes again
Map Maker 09.29.15 at 2:16 pm
I didn’t listen to the broadcast, but I am surprised he didn’t hit on the real issue. While I’m all in favor of using government resources to support pet projects I like, it is a little shameless that this NASA announcement about a paper published almost a year ago comes out 2 days before Matt Damon’s Mars movie comes out. I hate conspiracy theories, but I have no doubt NASA’s timing relative to the movie was not an accident. I just hope Matt Damon doesn’t fly so many private jets publicizing the movie that global warming comes too quickly for us to get to Mars…
LFC 09.29.15 at 3:16 pm
Based on the official trailer (thoughtfully uploaded by 21st Cent. Fox [or is still 20th Century Fox? whatever] to youtube), that Martian movie looks … not good. I don’t think the proverbial wild horses could drag me to see it.
MPAVictoria 09.29.15 at 3:26 pm
The book was pretty good if you like that sort of thing.
The Temporary Name 09.29.15 at 5:18 pm
…he said to his 13 million listeners.
Henry (not the famous one) 09.29.15 at 6:56 pm
Long Live Posadas!
js. 09.30.15 at 12:50 am
So Rush is like: I wrote this film ten times before, but it’s still not a saddening bore?
ZM 09.30.15 at 4:15 am
September 28 2015
Rush Limbaugh: ” Because I guarantee, let’s just wait and see, this is September 28, let’s just wait and see. Don’t know how long it’s going to take, but this news that there is flowing water on Mars is somehow going to find its way into a technique to advance the leftist agenda. I don’t know what it is, I would assume it would be something to do with global warming and you can—maybe there was once an advanced civilization. If they say they found flowing water, next they’re going to find a graveyard.”
Two days later. This is September 30, and – drum roll – enter George Monbiot stage left:
“Evidence for flowing water on Mars: this opens up the possibility of life, of wonders we cannot begin to imagine. Its discovery is an astonishing achievement. Meanwhile, Martian scientists continue their search for intelligent life on Earth.
We may be captivated by the thought of organisms on another planet, but we seem to have lost interest in our own. The Oxford Junior Dictionary has been excising the waymarks of the living world. Adders, blackberries, bluebells, conkers, holly, magpies, minnows, otters, primroses, thrushes, weasels and wrens are now surplus to requirements.
…
Think of what would change if we valued terrestrial water as much as we value the possibility of water on Mars. Only 3% of the water on this planet is fresh; and of that, two-thirds is frozen. Yet we lay waste to the accessible portion. Sixty per cent of the water used in farming is needlessly piddled away by careless irrigation. Rivers, lakes and aquifers are sucked dry, while what remains is often so contaminated that it threatens the lives of those who drink it. In the UK, domestic demand is such that the upper reaches of many rivers disappear during the summer. Yet still we install clunky old toilets and showers that gush like waterfalls
…
At the beginning of September, two weeks after he granted Shell permission to drill in the Chukchi Sea, Barack Obama travelled to Alaska to warn Americans about the devastating effects that climate change caused by the burning of fossil fuels could catalyse in the Arctic. “It’s not enough just to talk the talkâ€, he told them. “We’ve got to walk the walk.†We should “embrace the human ingenuity that can do something about itâ€. Human ingenuity is on abundant display at Nasa, which released those astounding images. But not when it comes to policy”
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/29/water-mars-intelligent-life-earth-nasa
(I am of course entirely sympathetic to the article, but it’s still funny)
bekabot 09.30.15 at 5:08 pm
{delurking}
Can’t improve on what’s already here, but would like to note that it’s a mistake to ask a man to worry about what’s happening on Mars when he can’t bring himself to care about what’s happening on Earth. Is all.
{relurking}
The Temporary Name 09.30.15 at 5:19 pm
Caring enough to want to leave it might be the case.
bekabot 09.30.15 at 5:23 pm
“Caring enough to want to leave it might be the case.”
When he says there’s nothing out there to see — or that what there is has been manufactured by a left-wing camorra? Don’t think so, though of course it’s differences of opinion which make for horse racing.
Peter Erwin 09.30.15 at 6:47 pm
Map Maker @ 18:
… it is a little shameless that this NASA announcement about a paper published almost a year ago comes out 2 days before Matt Damon’s Mars movie comes out.
“Published almost a year ago”?Not exactly:
“Received 22 April 2015 | Accepted 21 August 2015 | Published online 28 September 2015.”
Jerry Vinokurov 09.30.15 at 9:50 pm
My favorite part is the repeated demands to know what it all means, as if water on Mars were some sort of hermeneutic code to be deciphered in order to learn whether or not it’s Excellent! News! for Conservatives!
Sancho 10.01.15 at 1:31 am
Well science, broadly, is on the leftist agenda, so he’s correct in the strictest sense.
Niall McAuley 10.01.15 at 8:32 am
Jerry… EVERYTHING is Excellent! News! for Conservatives! And a worrying sign of trouble ahead for the Obama Administration.
Monte Davis 10.01.15 at 4:14 pm
@Niall NcAuley: The whole Obama House of Cards — hasty abandonment of our staunch Iraqi allies, ACA, enforced abortion, stormtrooper occupation of Texas, cat-dog marriage and the rest — will collapse if you can just hang on for another Friedman unit or two.
MattH 10.02.15 at 6:54 pm
Good lord, this made my day. Thank you kind sir. Now please tell me it’s not true that people can spout this stuff and making a living off of it.
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