Swift brash flash of blue
Nobly shielding your fledglings
Can’t I mow the lawn?
by Ross Silverman on July 22, 2004
Swift brash flash of blue
Nobly shielding your fledglings
Can’t I mow the lawn?
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{ 5 comments }
mrpernickety 07.22.04 at 7:44 pm
Good! “Nobly” maybe a bit too much, though. Show, don’t tell…
Ross Silverman 07.22.04 at 7:54 pm
Thanks for the advice. I admit, it’s a new form to me, and I enter with little former training (is there such a thing as “folk Haiku”?). But I’m interested in learning. I’ll likely make it a regular Thursday thing at my own blog, so feel free to come by and join in.
Ross Silverman 07.22.04 at 8:16 pm
Rewrite: Swift brash flash of blue Sorties flown shielding the brood Can’t I mow the lawn?
s_bethy 07.23.04 at 3:07 am
Babies make you attack me.
vernaculo 07.23.04 at 8:09 pm
Wingless invader Eating without digesting This lawn’s my kingdom
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