Mark Steyn promises to resign if Kerry is elected.
Having failed to read correctly the mood of my own backyard, I could hardly continue to pass myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical forces at play. Obviously that doesn’t bother a lot of chaps in this line of work — Sir Simon Jenkins, Robert ‘Mister Robert’ Fisk, etc., — and no doubt I could breeze through the next four years doing ketchup riffs on Teresa Heinz Kerry, but I feel a period of sober reflection far from the scene would be appropriate. My faith in the persuasive powers of journalism would be shattered; maybe it would be time to try something else — organising coups in Africa, like the alleged Sir Mark Thatcher is alleged to have allegedly done; maybe abseiling down the walls of the Presidential palace and garroting the guards personally.
I doubt he’s quite up to it, but at least his heart’s in the right place.
{ 18 comments }
belle waring 11.01.04 at 11:55 am
I should mention, too, that he feels a Kerry-electing USA would be merely a “butcher Belgium”, i.e., wimpy. I wonder, how many millions of Congolese people does a nation have to kill to get a little respect?
G. Svenson 11.01.04 at 12:43 pm
The stakes of this presidential race just went up to a whole new level…
Don Quijote 11.01.04 at 12:56 pm
I wonder, how many millions of Congolese people does a nation have to kill to get a little respect?
I does not count unless the victims are white.
Keith M Ellis 11.01.04 at 12:59 pm
That was like reading an article from another universe. These sort of folks are really going to be surprised tomorrow. I don’t believe for a minute that he’ll actually resign, though.
rps 11.01.04 at 1:20 pm
I just wasted 3 minutes reading that drivel. I want them back.
Dick O'Brien 11.01.04 at 1:51 pm
He also promised to quit the Irish Times a few weeks back if Kerry wins.
Merkin 11.01.04 at 1:56 pm
It’s a start, but I’ll be satisfied with nothing less than his suicide.
The man is either a clown capering for coins or a lunatic.
Azad 11.01.04 at 2:08 pm
add another 3 minutes to that total.
mv 11.01.04 at 2:33 pm
Gah, three minutes from me too.
Note for any comments-scanners who happen to parse like me: it turns out that “butcher Belgium” = “a slightly more butch version of Belgium,” not “Belgium in a stained white apron selling meat products.”
J. Ellenberg 11.01.04 at 2:38 pm
“Belgium in a stained white apron” is surely the title of an unreleased Pavement outtake.
Thanks, commenters, for saving me from spending three minutes reading that article.
Ginger Yellow 11.01.04 at 2:54 pm
“I could hardly continue to pass myself off as a plausible interpreter of the great geopolitical forces at play”
I do believe that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
billyfrombelfast 11.01.04 at 2:56 pm
The stakes of this presidential race just went up to a whole new level…
Hee! Yes indeed. Although I’d be fairly happy if he just wasn’t polluting my Irish Times (he’s already turned Kevin Myers into an Instapundit clone).
Matt McGrattan 11.01.04 at 4:08 pm
Prior to the (new) Labour victory in 1997 any number of Tory voting journalists and celebrities promised to quit the UK if Labour won.
I note that so far none of them have actually carried out that threat.
Volunteer State 11.01.04 at 7:11 pm
Osama bin Laden lives. I say Churchhill and FDR were right. Fight this murderer until he can hide no more. Never give in to tyranny. Fight him with the most powerful weapon you have, your vote. Vote Red State for Freedom.
baa 11.01.04 at 8:10 pm
Oh come on! You don’t like Mark Steyn? The guy is hilarious. There’s a gem in every column: Andrew Sullivan as a “moulting hawk,” does this count for nothing? Is there no place for the unrelievedly partisan but funny op-ed writer in your cold, black heart? What about Kinsley? Ya gotta love Kinsley (or at least, Kinsley-as-humorist).
Jim Madison's Dog 11.01.04 at 9:30 pm
What was that POS doing IN the Irish Times?
Myles naGopaleen to this guy?
It is to weep.
ArC 11.01.04 at 10:06 pm
Like I said on my own blog, I didn’t think I could root any harder for a Kerry victory, but then I read this. Man, do I hate Mark (“I’m predicting Bush over Gore in a total landslide”) Steyn. Please tell me his editors, no longer fearing the wrath of Conrad Black, will hold him to this.
Pollie Anon 11.02.04 at 1:18 am
Mark Steyn is hilarious. and, i for one, am willing to bet that he will indeed resign if Bush loses.
shall we start a pool?
Will Mark steyn go?
will Belle Waring follow up this post if Kerry wins and Mark Steyn goes?
Will belle waring follow up this post if Bush wins and Mark Steyn stays?
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