I write fan fiction for you!

That could have gone better, reflected the defendant. The pictures were all over the internet, and he had all but admitted on the stand that he was the only one who could have taken them. The trial had turned into a media circus, and the press was ready to hang him.

The judge came out of his chambers after only a few hours’ deliberation. No one could have predicted what would happen next.

“Will the defendant please rise”, called the bailiff. This is it, I’m done for, thought the defendant.

The judge spoke. “You have been accused of breaking and entering in order to photograph the plaintiff while sleeping. Furthermore, without her permission, you posted those pictures on your personal website. Several witnesses saw you leaving her house on the night that the photos were posted, and you have admitted that you are the only person with access to your camera, or to your website.

“Normally, these would be serious offenses.

“However, we must consider all the circumstances in this case. The plaintiff in this case has admitted to posing for a number of pictures which are unmistakably date-stamped as occurring after the break-in. In fact, several of these photos were for stories about this very case.

“If the plaintiff was truly interested in her privacy, it is clear that she would not have made this choice. Sorry, missy — if you’re really interested in privacy, you don’t do this sort of thing. Unless, perhaps, you’re a self-promoter first, and a victim second.

“I therefore pronounce this case bogus. You’re free to go.”

The judge was mobbed by reporters as he tried to retire to his chambers. One reporter managed to break past the struggling bailiff and ask, “Your Honor, you attended the University of Tennessee law school, am I correct?”