My friend Carrie writes from England to say that her annoyance with the radio play of Wham’s Last Christmas is interfering with her work. Is Last Christmas the most annoying Christmas record? No way.
Something Stupid doesn’t yet qualify because it hasn’t been around long enough. And Neil Diamond’s Silent Night doesn’t get enough radio play to count as most annoying. for me the winner has to be Do They Know It’s Christmas’. But maybe I’m forgetting something.
{ 35 comments }
Chris Bertram 12.06.03 at 6:18 pm
If I go into another shop where “Walking in the air” from the Snowman is playing I’ll have a seizure. And wasn’t Steeleye Span’s “Gaudete” a Christmas release?
dsquared 12.06.03 at 6:49 pm
I worked in a shop over two Christmases where we had “Now That’s What I Call Christmas” on permanent rotation and can therefore tell you that the Emerson Lake & Palmer one is the worst. I used to cringe when it came on.
“halleluja noel, be you in heaven or hell …”
eszter 12.06.03 at 7:22 pm
I find them all pretty annoying, but if I had to be more specific than that, I’d say any non-upbeat Christmas song (which would be many) that’s played on a radio station that usually plays fast-paced pop songs is completely misplaced.
If I absolutely had to be subjected to Christmas songs, I’d actually go for something like Wham’s Last Christmas or Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree by John Marks (?), the jive version. Luckily, the hip-hop station I listen to doesn’t bother with any Christmas songs, which is definitely my overall preference.
Ophelia Benson 12.06.03 at 7:25 pm
Oh, God, I hate them all, I hate them with such a passion. If there’s anything that drives me crazy it’s coming out of a shop with ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Xmas’ or some other god damn piece of seasonal merriment stuck in my head set to push me over the edge for the next few hours. There ought to be a law against them!
She said calmly.
Norbizness 12.06.03 at 8:07 pm
Dsquared: It was called “I believe in Father Christmas” and the tune was based on Prokofiev’s “Troika”. It suffered, of course, from typically bad ELP lyrics.
My least favorite is anything starring the Mitch Miller Sing-Along Singers (a/k/a fascist brigade) which I can still hear in my nightmares.
John 12.06.03 at 8:14 pm
That McCartney song is pretty awful…
schwa 12.06.03 at 9:10 pm
I don’t think anything can top Snoopy’s Christmas for sheer, unremitting agony.
Kieran Healy 12.06.03 at 9:27 pm
it’s coming out of a shop with ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Xmas’ or some other god damn piece of seasonal merriment stuck in my head
Try having that happen when you’re in Australia, and Summer is coming in all sunny and everything.
John Isbell 12.06.03 at 9:52 pm
To go mass-market a moment, my vote would go to “Frosty the Snowman”, I think. Noxious song.
Jeremy Osner 12.06.03 at 10:05 pm
Hey, where does this lyric come from: “Father Christmas, give us your money, don’t mess around with those silly toys, give all the toys, to the little rich boys.” That’s a Christmas pop song I like but I can’t remember anything about it except the chorus.
Tom Slee 12.06.03 at 10:09 pm
In the same spirit as john isbell, I believe that even though the competition is pretty tough, “Jingle Bell Rock” truly has no peer.
Ophelia Benson 12.06.03 at 10:35 pm
Yeah, Jingle Bell Rock is a really horrible one. Especially when it’s hot and sunny. (You don’t even need to go to Australia for that, California does the job nicely.)
apostropher 12.06.03 at 11:29 pm
I think that the tie for first place in this category is shared by so many entrants that the more intriguing question is what is the second most annoying Christmas record of all time.
apostropher 12.06.03 at 11:34 pm
Jeremy, you’re thinking of “Father Christmas” by the Kinks.
Jeremy Osner 12.06.03 at 11:57 pm
Thanks, apostropher — or can I call you ‘r?
greg 12.07.03 at 1:14 am
“It’s coming on Christmas.
They’re cutting down trees.
They’re putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace.
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.â€
J. Mitchell
apostropher 12.07.03 at 2:29 am
or can I call you ‘r?
I’ve been called worse.
Jeremy Osner 12.07.03 at 4:18 am
Don’ worry, I would never think of calling you Worse.
Jeffrey Kramer 12.07.03 at 9:48 am
A friend of mine tells of entering a bookstore in Bangkok where “A Chipmunks Christmas” was playing on a loop. “Say, Alvin, why don’t we sing this one together?” “Gee, that sounds swell, Dave.” “SIIIILENT NIGHT….”
Again, and again, and again.
eszter 12.07.03 at 8:37 pm
This thread is funny. Jeffrey, I think that one tops the list!
harry 12.07.03 at 9:08 pm
Chris,
you’ll be pleased to know that when my daughter was in reception in England all the kids knew a humourously but scatologically rude version of Walking in the Air. My younger daughter (nearly 3) now sings only those words to the tune. I now can’t hear the tune without laughing. BUT it is still annoying, proof perhaps that it is the tune and performance, not the words.
JS 12.07.03 at 10:14 pm
Do intentionally bad Christmas songs count? If so, “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer,” by Elmo & Pastsy, is, to my ears, the most annoying Christmas song ever, and is second only to “Macarena” in the open category.
Matt 12.08.03 at 2:51 am
When I was a small boy I watched an episode of the Smurfs where a minstral sang to the king the following song to the tune of “What child is this?”
It was a dark and gloomy day
when the farmer’s house burnt down
His chickens died
and his child fell in
and all of his crops
turned brown.
Now that’s all I can think of when I hear the tune.
Another Damned Medievalist 12.08.03 at 3:42 pm
Um … anything on the Barbra Streisand and Mannheim Steamroller (is that their name?) Christmas albums that certain members of my family play over and over again. Me — I think the Barbra is the worst.
I seem to be in a minority, though, ’cause I like Christmas music after the first of Advent. My favourite local radio station tend not to play shite Christmas songs, though — they play “Father Christmas” (Kinks); that Cheech and Chong Christmas story; a nice little song called “Merry Christmas from the family” (nice if you have been to dysfunctional but generally happy holiday memories); “The Christians and the Pagans”; and a little number by the Corey Band called “Stop the Cavalry.” Oh — and stuff from the Chieftains album and all of the “Very Merry Christmas” albums. In other words, nothing sickly sweet.
pchuck 12.08.03 at 4:20 pm
I call it a successful and joyous Christmas if I can avoid hearing Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”.
Jeff Cooper 12.08.03 at 5:28 pm
I have to vote for the McCartney song, if only because the man has actual talent. What did it take to write that crap, all of five minutes? And maybe fifteen more to record it.
It does have the dubious distinction (I believe) of being the final record Wings released.
Don Coffin 12.08.03 at 6:02 pm
“The Little Drummer Boy” is not only incredibly annoying, it is, at least in the US, all but ubiquitous.
apostropher 12.08.03 at 9:37 pm
I call it a successful and joyous Christmas if I can avoid hearing Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Townâ€.
You don’t get many successful and joyous Christmases, do you?
pchuck 12.09.03 at 2:47 pm
Actually, it is going on three in a row. Don’t jinx me.
apostropher 12.09.03 at 5:52 pm
pchuck,
Wow. Three in a row? I’ve heard it at least three times already 9 days into December. Do you spend your Christmases with the Amish?
julia 12.10.03 at 4:45 pm
a hard-fought tie between Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul “the bud is my friend” McCartney and the version of Silent Night that Stevie Nicks managed to force through her nose without mentioning god once, just kept repeating the sleep in heavenly peace chorus over and over and over…
Madonna’s Santa Baby is an abomination before the lord, but I expect Eartha Kitt will eventually make her pay so I’m not worried about it. Imagine Betty Boop starring in Guys and Dolls. yik.
frosty 12.16.03 at 5:01 pm
My top 3 most annoying Xmas songs:
Chipmunk Song
Santa Baby
Wonderful Xmas Time (McCartney)
Scott 12.23.03 at 9:44 pm
“Percy the puny poinsettia
sitting alone on a shelf
even a plant with no Uncle or Aunt
shouldn’t spend christmas eve by himself”
erind 12.26.03 at 12:48 am
The worst, worst xmas song ever has to be that Beach Boys song. I mean, “Christmas comes this time each year?” come on! The second worst is “Christmas Island.” Both of these songs play about every four hours where I work.
erind 12.26.03 at 12:49 am
The worst, worst xmas song ever has to be that Beach Boys song. I mean, “Christmas comes this time each year?” come on! The second worst is “Christmas Island.” Both of these songs play about every four hours where I work.
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