Apparently England’s new manager has promised to learn English. I was going to do a clever post on this, but then the excellently if improbably named Jimmy from Glasgow (scroll down to third comment) took the words out of my English-speaking mouth:
I don’t see the problem here with Cappello not speaking fluent English. I can’t think of many English football players who can speak fluent English either. They usually speak in general cliches peppered with generous helpings of ‘you know’, sometimes with the ‘what I mean’ added on. E.g. “They put us under a lot of pressure, you know, but Gav-o did well, you know, because sometimes in football you have to score goals, you know and the first 90 minutes of the match are the most important because, you know, I’m a firm believer that if the other side scores first you have to score twice to win, you know.”
{ 23 comments }
Kieran Healy 12.18.07 at 8:14 pm
Apparently England’s new manager has promised to learn English.
Is this Gordon Brown we’re talking about?
MikeJ 12.18.07 at 8:19 pm
As long as he gives %110, everything should be fine. Although sometimes, the other team just wants it more.
JP Stormcrow 12.18.07 at 8:19 pm
Is this Gordon Brown we’re talking about?
I had the same thought. My guess was that he was trying to further distance himself from Bush.
Cheryl 12.18.07 at 8:23 pm
To be fair, it isn’t only football players who are guilty of this. I know that Jayasuriya is only just learning to be a commentator, but if he says “right areas” one more time I think I shall scream.
norbizness 12.18.07 at 8:33 pm
For us amateur fans, they have the Fox Soccer Channel. Every week, they replay a Premier League game with two authentic English fans commentating. Now, being from Texas, I don’t want to open myself up to charges of hypocrisy, but those fuckers are more incomprehensible than Mel Tillis, high on speed, eating peatnut butter.
foolishmortal 12.18.07 at 8:42 pm
The principle thing Mr.Capello needs to understand is that it’s a game of two halves.
freshlysqueezedcynic 12.18.07 at 8:46 pm
Well, y’know, some you win, some you lose, but I think at the end of the day, everybody fought hard and a draw was very favourable for all concerned, seeing as we had to graft out there against sheer quality.
sidereal 12.18.07 at 9:02 pm
“I would like to buy some butter.”
“My name is Fabio.”
“The boys showed real quality up against a side with a lot of class to earn a point. Obviously there are some things to work on, tactically, but the effort was there and that’s what you ask for.”
nick s 12.18.07 at 9:48 pm
Don’t forget the ‘footballers’ tense’, as used to describe replays: e.g. ‘The winger’s sent over a terrific ball, the big fella’s knocked it back, and I’ve hit it on the volley.’
That’s advanced grammar, and I’m not sure if immersion classes will get to it in time for the World Cup qualifying campaign.
Bloix 12.18.07 at 10:04 pm
See http://www.gocomics.com/tankmcnamara/2007/12/15/
astrongmaybe 12.18.07 at 11:03 pm
Best advice for Fab Fabio so far…
“Should the question “What do you like about England?” be asked, he is advised that replying “laughing with Germans about your dead princess” always ensures a warm welcome.”
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2007/12/12/socceranto_can_be_dictionary_o.html
astrongmaybe 12.18.07 at 11:05 pm
Don’t forget the ‘footballers’ tense’, as used to describe replays: e.g. ‘The winger’s sent over a terrific ball, the big fella’s knocked it back, and I’ve hit it on the volley.’
Good spot! The true master of that tense was Kevin Keegan. I think he spoke it 24/7, not just for replays.
Chunter 12.19.07 at 5:48 am
The ‘footballers’ tense’ is also used by some cricket commentators, including Sir Ian. I can’t remember hearing it on TMS, though.
As for ‘good aress’ – whatever happened to ‘shape’, the almost equally irritating vogue word of a few years ago?
astrongmaybe 12.19.07 at 12:06 pm
As for ‘good aress’ – whatever happened to ‘shape’, the almost equally irritating vogue word of a few years ago?
Ah, the footballolinguistic snows of yesteryear. Where has “the hole” gone? (As in, “playing in the hole behind the front two”.) Who remembers Mick Channon and his “bodies in the box, bodies in the box…”
Rob 12.19.07 at 1:55 pm
Talk about cliche, didn’t the Today Program do this a couple of days ago (along with every national newspaper).
Thom Brooks 12.19.07 at 4:02 pm
I couldn’t say it any better myself, you know.
Chris Bertram 12.19.07 at 4:15 pm
This post may entertain the neutral, but it is well-documented that it won’t satisfy the purist.
harry b 12.19.07 at 4:20 pm
What the hell does that mean, Chris?
Chris Bertram 12.19.07 at 10:33 pm
Oh – I was just riffing on the way that football commentary uses terms like “neutral”, “purist” and “well-documented” – just standard cliches. Sorry if it was too obscure.
JP Stormcrow 12.19.07 at 11:52 pm
Sorry if it was too obscure
It was an “ambitious
ballcomment”.dave heasman 12.20.07 at 12:03 am
I see that Rob Green had a column in the Indy today. And David James in the Observer is a must-read. From what I read of Cappello, he’s articulate and non-cliched too. So, no.
Cryptic Ned 12.20.07 at 12:58 am
There’s the bulge in the onion blog!
joel hanes 12.20.07 at 4:38 am
Almost all sports on television are greatly improved by early employment of the “mute” button on the remote.
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