2013

by Kieran Healy on May 18, 2008

The first time I saw this, I honestly was waiting for a punchline at the end like, “Ponies – Free to Everyone”, or “Perpetual Motion Machines – Perfected”, or “Flying Cars – In a Range of Attractive Colors”. But it never comes, because it’s a real ad. Amazing.

{ 41 comments }

1

Colin Danby 05.18.08 at 7:05 pm

No place like the future.

2

Alan 05.18.08 at 7:09 pm

That is quite incredible. And I mean that literally.

3

riffle 05.18.08 at 7:10 pm

America will marry a very very wealthy heiress and she’ll pay for everything.

4

riffle 05.18.08 at 7:12 pm

BTW, the voiceover on that has to be by Powers Booth, aka Cy Tolliver from Deadwood.

5

Maria 05.18.08 at 7:13 pm

The choice of buzzwords was interesting. “Wasteful Spending” was “reformed”. Trying to appease both the right wingers (who’ll think all spending is wasteful) and a certain part of the center (who don’t want to *reduce* spending, but make it better).

6

Stuart 05.18.08 at 7:14 pm

This is crying out for someone to make a parody.

7

Sven 05.18.08 at 7:19 pm

Little-known fact: the McCain media operation has been farmed out to the Underpants Gnomes.

8

praisegod barebones 05.18.08 at 7:32 pm

Due to a chance interaction with a recent post on Making Light on the way over here, I found that when I opened this post The Deadly Gentlemen’s ‘Hobo Rockstar’ started playing….

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=236860411

I’ll swear the song was three quarters through before I realised that it *wasn’t* the YouTube video that Kıeran had embedded here…

9

Randy Paul 05.18.08 at 7:44 pm

BTW, the voiceover on that has to be by Powers Booth

Whose first big break was playing Jim Jones. Nice to see he’s still serving up Kool-Aid.

10

abb1 05.18.08 at 8:02 pm

Stupid politicians – I don’t care about any of those things, I want a pony. And not in 2013, but today.

11

Barry 05.18.08 at 8:19 pm

The target audience is composed of (a) those who still believ in Bush, after 7 years and counting of sh*t, (b) those who are stupid enough to believe that McCain will be something other than Bush’s third term, and (c) those who can be gulled by the media into believing that McCain will be something other than Bush’s third term.

When you’re aiming at that group, you’ll tend to undershoot a lot of people in the USA. McCain is hopping that a-c + d (those who hate the Evul Librul N*gger Muzlim Obsaddama) will add up juuuuuuuuuust enough.

12

Barry 05.18.08 at 8:55 pm

F*cking formatting again. Aggghhhhhhh.

13

fred lapides 05.18.08 at 9:23 pm

another urban legend…why is this posted as “amazing”? amazing to me is that there is not one iota of reason why that guy in this country cabn do those things…he has no track record to show he is capable of it and no evidence here to show how he will do it. what is amazing is that such trash is shown the public.

14

GregLondon 05.18.08 at 9:23 pm

The future’s always so bright you gotta wear shades. For example, they’ve been predicting the future for the last several years, saying that in the next six months we’ll see a major turn around in Iraq.

We’re getting short, man. Six months and we’re out!

15

Jonathan Dresner 05.18.08 at 9:58 pm

This is crying out for someone to make a parody.

Tom Paxton said “Some people you don’t satirize: you just quote ’em.”

16

ben wolfson 05.18.08 at 10:46 pm

John McCain’s term, were he elected, wouldn’t last very far into 2013.

17

richard 05.18.08 at 10:51 pm

Barry: but doesn’t the ad make the point, forcefully, that McCain is Bush in disguise and nothing else? If you like having a delusional fantasist with holy visions but no idea of how to make them happen in office, this is your man.

18

joseph duemer 05.19.08 at 12:38 am

2013 — I make that nine Friedman Units from now.

19

Lord Acton 05.19.08 at 1:03 am

Comments here never surprise me.

All you leftist bozos will always believe that the
future will be grimmer than the past, unless we socialize.

History was never your strongest subject was it?

Good luck bringing back the U.S.S.R.!

20

Robin Z 05.19.08 at 1:07 am

Y’know, I just saw this quote a moment ago:

I often have to arrange talks years in advance. If I am asked for a title, I suggest “The Current Crisis in the Middle East.” It has yet to fail.
Noam Chomsky

21

Down and Out of Sài Gòn 05.19.08 at 1:18 am

@3 and @9 – Thank you. Before that, I thought the voice-over was Isaac Hayes.

22

TrumanDem 05.19.08 at 1:35 am

Actually the hilarious aspect of this ad is the bravado and hubris about who he is and how he’ll accomplish this thing with both houses under firm Democratic control. With the exception of Landrieu in Lousiana every Dem Senate seat up this year is not in play. Even Landrieu’s isn’t a given she’ll lose. There are some projecting the house to be up by 50 seat for the Dems.

Good luck on those “accomplishments” Mr. “Keating Five.”

TrumanDem

Truman’s Conscience
“The Buck Stopped Here”

23

'as you know' Bob 05.19.08 at 1:58 am

The hilarious part of this ad is that it amounts to an admission that he stands no chance at all of winning in the 2008 election – McSame makes it sound like he’s staking his fortunes on a chance of winning in 2012.

24

Glen Tomkins 05.19.08 at 2:45 am

A real ad

But not one designed to appeal to the reality-based community. It’s kind of scary that they think that the non-reality-based community is numerous enough to deliver the election for them this year.

It’s sort fo the reverse of the famous joke Adlai Stevenson made to the supporter of his who had just gushed, “All of the intelligent people are voting for you!”. “That’s good news, madam, but unfortunately I need a majority.”

“Gee, Senator McCain, all the bat-shit crazy people are voting for you!”. And he answers, “Great, 51%+ here I come!”.

25

Bush pilot 05.19.08 at 3:11 am

Yeah, kinda silly, but no more silly than Barak Hussein’s or Hillary Rodham’s “positive” ads. Peace in Palestine, US gains influence in the UN, healthcare coverage higher, costs lower, taxes cuts for you, tax hikes for “them”. Throw in the gay couple getting married, buying a house with solar PV and a wind turbine, while growing corn for their Prius’ gas tank, all paid for by the DNC, and I think I see the general election campaign ad already.

26

sleepyirv 05.19.08 at 4:01 am

Wait, wait, wait. The threat of Nuclear terrorism is only reduced? Why not just get rid of it all together, McCain? And wouldn’t the easiest way the threat to be “reduced” is that a nuclear attack, in fact, happens?

27

Colin Danby 05.19.08 at 4:19 am

I think that’s covered at http://www.kottke.org/when-obama-wins/, pilot. But I like your storyboard for the for the gay environmentalism ad.

28

Henry (not the famous one) 05.19.08 at 4:28 am

And how about that image of a stabilized Middle East: what appears to be a nine year old boy with a camel? It looks as if McCain is working from a storehouse of knowledge that starts with Christmas pageants and ends with Amahl and the Night Visitors. Or, more likely, he’s aiming at that fundamentally ignorant demographic.

29

Bob B 05.19.08 at 9:39 am

Try this illuminating video clip on “straight talking McCain”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEtZlR3zp4c

OK, I’m really impressed but then, as a foreigner, I won’t be voting in November.

30

Maurice Meilleur 05.19.08 at 10:59 am

And how about that image of a stabilized Middle East: what appears to be a nine year old boy with a camel? It looks as if McCain is working from a storehouse of knowledge that starts with Christmas pageants and ends with Amahl and the Night Visitors. Or, more likely, he’s aiming at that fundamentally ignorant demographic.

Actually, McCain is planning on killing every adult in every country where camels are native.

31

Martin James 05.19.08 at 2:32 pm

Come on people, be fair. How can you be for democracy yet against the ignorant rabble?

32

abb1 05.19.08 at 3:04 pm

John McCain 2008: If There Is Hope, It Lies In The Proles.

33

Delicious Pundit 05.19.08 at 3:05 pm

How can you be for democracy yet against the ignorant rabble?

When you live in California, land of the initiative, it’s pretty easy. You begin to realize that the Springfield Town Hall meetings on “The Simpsons” are actually documentary footage. (“But Main Street is still cracked and broken.” “Shut up, Mom, the mob has spoken.”)

34

Grand Moff Texan 05.19.08 at 4:22 pm

Good luck bringing back the U.S.S.R.!

By attacking corporate socialism? Um, … ok?

I think we just found the ad’s audience.
.

35

Down and Out of Sài Gòn 05.20.08 at 12:16 am

Come on people, be fair. How can you be for democracy yet against the ignorant rabble?

This may be a controversial statement, but perhaps America’s ignorant rabble is more ignorant than the ignorant rabble of other first world countries. At least the others won’t decry universal health care systems as useless socialism. Ask them if they think government should subsidise a trip to the doctor, and they’d answer “Yes, please.”

36

herr doktor bimler 05.20.08 at 12:24 am

Now we know what happened to the lost 30 minutes of footage from Things to Come.

37

shikari 05.20.08 at 2:30 am

That’s some good crack he’s on.

A “mission accomplished” in the making.

38

JMW 05.20.08 at 6:39 am

The Middle East? Vanished. The Los Angeles Clippers? NBA champions. The oil supply? Endless. The Rolling Stones? Still touring. George W. Bush? A housemate on The Surreal Life. Satire? Unnecessary.

2013, here we come….

39

Conn 05.21.08 at 1:31 am

Wow….and the campaign is only about to begin. Do they really think that people will buy into this crap?

40

Hattie 05.22.08 at 6:25 pm

Well, he probably won’t be around then, and maybe I won’t be either.
So is this supposed to appeal to older voters? I don’t get it.

41

herr doktor bimler 05.22.08 at 11:31 pm

I predict that the next McCain advertisement will use “In the Year 2525” as background music.

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