Over at her own place, Belle suggested McCain ’08 should run with the line, “Let’s Start a Land War in Asia!” But then, in response to comments, she decided on “Let’s Get Involved In Another Land War in Asia!” instead. This is more accurate, but lacks teh snappy. It seems to me that if the canon is “Never Start a Land War in Asia” then McCain really ought to go with “Never Finish a Land War in Asia”.
{ 28 comments }
Charlie Stross 08.28.08 at 7:58 pm
The other part of the nostrum is ” … and never start a war on two fronts”. Too bad that’s already happened.
Delicious Pundit 08.28.08 at 8:25 pm
Other alternates:
“McCain: Number One With A Bullet” (or “Cast Your Ballot For The Bullet”)
“McCain: Guns Don’t Kill People, Military-Industrial Complexes Kill People.”
“McCain: Don’t Read My Lips, Read The Bulging Veins On My Forehead.”
“McCain: Pimpin’ a string of foxy wars”
As I’ve noted elsewhere, I actually think that McCain is less like a hothead and more like a cartoon character who jumps up on the table squealing hysterically whenever he sees a mouse, but it’s hard to get that on a bumper sticker.
riffle 08.28.08 at 8:30 pm
Or let’s generalize it and simply make it “More wars, fewer jobs” as Joe Scarborough put it.
Tangentially related: somewhere, some audio editor is snipping out the non-answers from McCain’s testy Time Magazine interview today, and from that long non-answer he gave to the viagra vs. contraception question from weeks ago, and from other McCain lockjaw episodes and putting together “McCain’s Collected Silences.”
I get the feeling “McCain’s Collected Silences” will be gargantuan by November.
Zeke 08.28.08 at 8:37 pm
“John McCain: You Kids Get the Hell Off My Lawn!”
Michael Drake 08.28.08 at 8:49 pm
Possible nickname for the candidate: John McIocane. Odorless, tasteless, and among the more deadly poisons known to man.
Michael Drake 08.28.08 at 8:49 pm
Well, maybe not odorless.
not even an mba 08.28.08 at 9:16 pm
How about
“Land Wars in Asia is the New Black.”
dsquared 08.28.08 at 9:26 pm
hey heads up! Vladimir Putin (who the BBC are now calling Vla-DEE-mir, emphasising how seriously they’re taking him) just said that the Georgian attack on Ossettia was ginned up as a McCain campaign stunt!
dogfacegeorge 08.28.08 at 10:31 pm
“Make New Wars, But Keep the Old — One is Silver and the Other’s Gold!”
belle le triste 08.28.08 at 10:35 pm
“Never End a Land War in Asia†is better
rea 08.28.08 at 10:39 pm
The other part of the nostrum is †… and never start a war on two frontsâ€. Too bad that’s already happened.
Iraq and Afghanistan, right? So the slogan ought to be never start a war on three fronts . . . except he wants to fight Iran. So the slogan ought to be never start a war on four fronts . . . except he now wants to confront Russia over Georgia. So the slogan ought to be never start a war on five fronts . . . except he doesn’t like Syria, or China, or Burma, or Venezuela, not to mention most of Europe
Never start a war on fifteen fronts?
qb 08.28.08 at 10:43 pm
I thought never-ending campaigns was part of the reason for the maxim, so “Never End a Land War in Asia” may be a little redundant. “Let’s Get Involved In Another Land War in Asia!†does lack the snap of a bumper sticker, though. Fortunately, the following fits nicely:
More Land Wars in Asia!
qb 08.28.08 at 10:45 pm
Sorry…
Let’s Start More Land Wars in Asia!
Fortuna 08.28.08 at 11:49 pm
McCain: taking us to the Gates of Hell!
Originally, it was ‘following Osama to the Gates of Hell’, but we all know how it’s really going down.
bdbd 08.29.08 at 1:20 am
“Two, Three, Many Land Wars in Asia!”
A virtual pat on the back if someone identifies the allusion, you young whipper snappers!
mcd 08.29.08 at 1:49 am
“Two, Three, Many Land Wars in Asia!â€
Why, Major Ernesto!
But for a McCain slogan:
The War the Merrier!
bdbd 08.29.08 at 2:00 am
*pat, pat* for mcd
John Quiggin 08.29.08 at 2:00 am
#15 Kronstadt!
Nabakov 08.29.08 at 2:41 am
“Four More Years!”
“One Day We’ll Win!”
“Asian Land Wars R’ Us!”
“McCain. Still A Prisoner of War!”
ed_finnerty 08.29.08 at 2:56 am
peace is a situation concluded from the fact that here are periods between wars
e julius drivingstorm 08.29.08 at 3:37 am
McCain on finishing Asian wars: Yes, we can’t – er finish, so let’s start.
Donald Johnson 08.29.08 at 4:31 am
How about “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Hahaha…” thud.
Doesn’t really fit into any current global crisis, but thanks to Wallace Shawn I’ve always linked the two slogans in my mind.
e julius drivingstorm 08.29.08 at 4:35 am
dsquared @ #8
Putin said what?
I look forward to your thread on this.
dsquared 08.29.08 at 6:31 am
He did. On the other hand, we’ve now had three McCain posts in a row (counting John’s latest) and five of the last six posts are about McCain so I might give it a bit of a rest until someone’s had the chance to put up a post about something else.
lurker 08.29.08 at 6:42 am
How about: “Many enemies, much honour”?
ajay 08.29.08 at 9:24 am
“Two, Three, Many Land Wars in Asia!â€
A virtual pat on the back if someone identifies the allusion, you young whipper snappers!
Course I recognise it; I’ve read my Ken MacLeod, you know. But I’ll be impressed if people get this:
“Only an idiot gets involved in a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the Kingdom of Idiot gets involved in a war on twelve fronts.”
virgil xenophon 08.29.08 at 12:19 pm
For those of you with long memories, General Curtis LeMay, (CinC of the 20th Air Force in WWII , and responsible for the fire-bombing campaign in Japan and the use of atomic bombs) when running for VP as George Wallace’s running-mate in ’68, became the subject of a running joke that his bumper-stickers should read: “Bombs Away With Curt Lemay!”
And then there was the election in Louisiana when a thoroughly corrupt Edwin Edwards (currently cooling his heels in Federal stir) was running for a third or fourth term (my memory fails me) as Gov. against David Duke of KKK fame in which bumper stickers in his support read: “Do the right thing, vote for the crook!”
Timothy Burke 08.29.08 at 4:42 pm
“Always Have a Land War in Asia”
“Isn’t It Time For Your Daily Asian Land War, Dear?”
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