What if they gave a presidential debate and nobody came?

I was in Alabama a week and a half ago, and while there had a conversation with an old friend who’s a musicologist at Ole Miss. He was telling me how preparations for the debate were turning the campus upside down, which I believe. Here in Nashville, Belmont University, the site of the second debate, rearranged its academic calendar to place Fall Break at the time of the debate, strongly encouraging students to leave town. These debates are huge deals for the host institutions–and McCain’s just blowing one off?? It’ll be interesting to see if this puts Mississippi in play.

With each passing day, McCain’s character is more plainly revealed. He can try to run away from Obama, but he can’t run away from what he has become: a shameless opportunist corrupted by ambition.

A yellow dog, of course.

strongly encouraging students to leave town

Wait, are you serious? Why on earth would they do that? Talk about an amazing live civics experience (yes, I know the auditorium only seats X people).

A copy of My Pet Goat.

A Rorshach blot?

Although, on consideration, that might actually be a better substitute for Palin.

A steaming pile of bullshit is clearly the way to go.

What will be most entertaining is when Obama turns to the pile of bullshit and says, “Let me be clear that, though we have our political differences, no one in my campaign doubts that my opponent is a true American hero. We honor his service.”

A weather vane.

While a pile of bullshit is definitely it, for TV’s sake (production values you know) it needs to be a bag of bullshit. Preferably one of those red ones that sell for .99 in the clearance aisle at Target.

For creative points, propped up wearing an adult Pampers.

That’s pretty much my picture of him anyway.

We should immediately start demanding that the VP debate takes place this Friday. Excellent, excellent opportunity for McCain to show that Palin can be ready at a moment’s notice.

Karl Rove or Alan Greenspan would have said Alan Keyes.

I completely forgot who Alan Keyes was. I resent that I now have brain cells somewhere dedicated to remembering that.

I thought the rumors was that McCain caught a nasty cold/flu and thought that might further the notion of his excessive aged-ness for the presidency.

Perhaps that crazy old man who drops his pants for food from an old, old Simpsons episode? Failing that, Jonah Goldberg.

I suggest, as has apparently been done previously, a rubber chicken. A high quality Spanish rubber chicken at that. Not some cheap Central American chicken that McCain would be comfortable meeting with. Although, with this suspend my campaign ploy, McCain should be given credit for simultaneously evoking bullshit and chickenshit. No mean accomplishment.

“This reminds me of the famous episode of ‘Have I Got News For You” where the Right Honourable Roy Hattersley failed to turn up for the third time. They replaced him with a tub of lard.”

And most of the audience didn’t even realize he hadn’t turned up.

What will be most entertaining is when Obama turns to the pile of bullshit and says, “Let me be clear that, though we have our political differences, no one in my campaign doubts that my opponent is a true American hero. We honor his service.”

Damn straight! I ask you, where would politics be without bullshit? It’s the very foundation of our “democracy”!

The year that Joe Lieberman ran for vice president and for senate, he ran against a man named Phil Giordano, who was then mayor of Waterbury. Lieberman refused to debate Giordano, and so Giordano held debates with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Lieberman. I’m fairly certain that Lieberman still won those debates.

Giordano later won fame because he was the subject of a relatively routine federal corruption investigation. The FBI tapped his phone and found not corruption, but rather that he was having sex with the 10-year-old niece and 8-year-old daughter of his favorite prostitute.

Amusing that the first person to say “this is too easy” also missed the injunction to “keep it clean”. Where I come from, there’s nothing clean about shit.

Surely the obvious replacement is a bag of Oven Chips, defrosting rapidly under the hot studio lights?

Wow, how come I have never heard of a paedophilic Republican who is a former military guy too (Giordano)?

According to my wife’s school library display, Alan Keyes is running! Sorry, Rich.

Alan Keyes is running!

Indeed he is. American Independent Party, represent! Platform includes repeal of the 16th & 17th amendments. Profit!

Not to derail the thread, but when you say “The FBI tapped his phone and found not corruption, but rather that he was having sex with the 10-year-old niece and 8-year-old daughter of his favorite prostitute.” , I’m pretty sure you mean “abusing” or “raping” rather than “having sex with”, yes?

I do hope some of the non-north-atlantic-islanders have watched the clip. Merton is brilliant.

A pile of thirteen cars.

a rocking chair

You know, I really wonder about the mentality of guys like KAS. Seriously disagree with his politics if you must, but make fun of a veteran who sacrificed for his country and was physically crippled through torture? And KAS “hates” him? The one who is seriously crippled as a person is someone like KAS.

make fun of a veteran who sacrificed for his country and was physically crippled through torture?

John McCain was not tortured.

I would like to sincerely thank John McCain. His inept politicization and attention-grabbing debate cancellation so that he could parachute into Washington appear to have sabotaged the bailout deal. He has done what Senators like Dodd — who, regrettably, are still too focussed on the idea that they have to be responsible, and fix things — could not do.

The obvious substitute is a bowl of pho.

Reply to KAS:

As a USAF Vietnam-era fossil only slightly younger than McCain who was fortunate enough not to be shot down and captured I guess I am a tad sensitive on the subject–332 combat missions will do that. My replacement/roommate was shot down and KIA on his first mission–his unpacked bags still sitting on my/his freshly made bed when I got the news as I awaited transportation to the flight-line to board the commercial bird taking me and everyone else whose tour was up that day home–all blind luck, really, me alive, him dead;his first day, my last one. Sooo——

Now, about your main point. I could be wrong about this, but if memory serves he was at first reticent to push the POW thing, but has been more or less drawn out about it–unlike John Kerry who milked his 3 month tour of dubious accomplishments for all they were worth right from jump street. And as I am of an age to well remember JFK
handing out those tacky PT-109 (a 60kt MTB JFK allowed to be cut in half by a 30kt Destroyer) cuff-links and tie-tacks to White House visitors to the great glee and approval of the press–so I am unimpressed by charges of “stunts” laid against conservative candidates. Gee, I wonder if McCain is elected will Hollywood make a suck-up movie about his war exploits and let him personally pick the actor who will portray him as was done with JFK? To even ask the question is to answer it…….

PS to KAS: Oh, but we’ve already seen the suck-up movie Hollywood made about the exploits of George W. Bush, 41st POTUS and the (volunteer) youngest Navy pilot in WWII, who was shot down and perilously rescued by a Navy sub. Great movie wasn’t it?

I could be wrong about this, but if memory serves he was at first reticent to push the POW thing, but has been more or less drawn out about it

If that’s true, and that’s a very big “if”, I can perfectly understand. McCain was totally against it, before he was totally for it!

All of McCain and Palin’s flip-flops are, of course, the fault of those darn librulz. POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! …

 – bi, International Journal of Inactivism

Appros po of my comment about typing pools, I believe it was P.J. O’Rourk who pointed out the savagely ironic fact that the current trend among “the rich” is to spend $90,000 on state of the art kitchens–places where only the servants used to tread.

Virgil Xenophon:

Obviously not enough.

Wow, you’re a real piece of shit. I’m shocked.