Inside Higher Ed Exclusive: Must Credit Inside Higher Ed!

by Henry Farrell on April 1, 2009

Scott McLemee has the “sordid details”:

Last month, the Washington, D.C., newspaper Politico revealed the existence of a secret online discussion group for left-tilting reporters and academics called JournoList. The article provoked a furor of denunciation among right-wing bloggers, who took the existence of an Obamaphile wonk cabal as proof that something darkly conspiratorial must be afoot. … So you can imagine my surprise when, a few days later, I discovered the existence of an even more well-concealed e-mail group. It connects up the nation’s most powerful academics. For the sake of this article we can call it AcademoList. …

Scott is now in hiding – but the truth must get out. And there are more shocking revelations to come. Scott has discovered that:

AcademoList’s cover was nearly blown in 2006, when David Horowitz published The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Professors in America. In spite of the subtitle, the book actually listed only 100 dangerous professors. At the time, scarcely anyone noticed this. And if they had, it would not have been too surprising, since it was obvious that considerable ingenuity had been required to get it up to that length. … The mysterious “dangerous professor number 101” turns out to have been one of the founders of AcademoList — a truly sinister figure, and indeed the single most important player in the effort to subject the United States to both Islamic fundamentalism and the gay agenda.

Scott could only say so much, but I can now reveal that the secret 101st Dangerous Professor in America is _David Horowitz himself_ (he holds endowed chairs _in pectore_ at Yale, Harvard and Princeton). He is also the Fourteenth (sic) Imam and the Beast Foretold in the Book of Revelations. Further Fun AcademoList Factz:

  • Mickey Kaus was invited to be one of the founding members of Academolist (he too holds an _in pectore_ appointment, as Snifre-Bedschietz Chair in American Politics at Long Beach College) but balked when he learned that he would have to sacrifice a goat to Shub-Niggurath at the initiation ceremony.
  • In addition to Aristotle’s lost treatise on comedy and the True Vindication of Camille Paglia, the AcademoList secret library hosts the skulls of Vannevar Bush and William F. Buckley Jr. Persistent rumours suggest that it also holds a birth certificate with Stanley Fish’s real name (and it ain’t Morris Zapp).
  • The comments sections to _Inside Higher Ed_ columns reflect the ongoing research activities, and plans for future world domination, of one of AcademoList’s most distinguished emeritus members, Dr. Alphonse Moreau.

Further revelations are promised (and should anyone have additional useful information that they wish to share in comments, anonymously or otherwise, we are happy to guarantee their safety).



gmoke 04.01.09 at 4:07 pm

Isn’t Professor Moriarty a founding member?


salient 04.01.09 at 4:42 pm

Isn’t Professor Moriarty a founding member?

No, the founding member was Charles Darwin, who also laid out the rules for whom would be granted entry over time in a book that many people mistakenly thought was actually about finches and mockingbirds. This is a forgivable error, for this was the era before Al Queda and Al Gore teamed up to disseminate cryptography into the mainstream, and therefore secret codes were the exclusive domain of guerrilla fighter squads, practitioners of sorcery, and naturalists. (These categories overlap significantly. There are connexions to Boy Scout training. I am not to speak of them here.)

Darwin is also credited with invention of the secret “walking fish” logo that marks the cars of apprentice AcademoList initiates to this day, at least until they are “naturally selected” for admission and join the official ranks, or until they give up their attempt to join and replace the fish-logo with a Peace sign bumper sticker (a sign developed a few decades ago to enable nonmember supporters of the AcademoList to secretly broadcast their willingness to house AL members, in the event of university riots, general uprising, or a catastrophic shortage of single malt scotch).

Rumor has it that the latest project of the AcademoList is a nationwide light rail network in the United States, dubbed the Sunder-Ground Railroad, which will allow them to collectively seep into Canada over the next few years, from which they will plan a Socialist takeover of the government in 2012. (There are connexions to nanotechnology and “green energy.” I am not to speak of them here.)


salient 04.01.09 at 4:43 pm

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Oh no! They’ve taken over the enclave! Transmissions are being intercepte–


anon 04.01.09 at 5:08 pm

mock on. your comments are being recorded in our database.


JLR 04.01.09 at 5:33 pm

This is not an April Fools’ joke.


MarkUp 04.01.09 at 8:29 pm

Hmm. I always suspected the founder to be Gioacchino da Fiore. Darwin? ID dunno.


Dave Maier 04.01.09 at 8:44 pm

I’d sure like to hear more about the True Vindication of Camille Paglia. I had no idea that such a thing was even possible. Have you actually seen it with your own eyes?


Bill Benzon 04.01.09 at 10:00 pm

Mickey Kaus and Robert Wright discuss JournoList:


salient 04.01.09 at 10:03 pm

I think it’s especially funny in this context that the word socialist automatically triggers moderation (or so it seems). If it didn’t, I bet we’d be seeing many more jokes about the SociaList. It has a rich history, as recovered in this early Twitter feed:

GeorgiPlekhanov A great man is great not because his personal qualities give individual features to great historical events, but because he possesses qualities which make him most capable of serving the great social needs of his time, needs which arose as a result of general and particular causes.
VladimirLenin @GeorgiPlekhanov Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I always suspected the founder to be Gioacchino da Fiore.

That’s apocryphal. (Apocalyptic apocrapha? Apocryphal apocalypse?) And anyhow all those writings were just attributed to him posthumously. They were written in fact by GIOVANNI ANGELO MEDICI. Who (aside from being a precursor to Rawlsofascism) is the founder of the precursor of the AcademoList, named SapienSodalitas.

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