Friday Fun Thread: Animal Planet week continues

Posted by Ted

My beloved fiancee received two hermit crabs for Christmas. Due to pressures both foreign and domestic, she has not named the crabs yet, and has consistently (cruelly, some would say) rejected my suggestions.

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(pictured: a very similar hermit crab)

Luckily, I have the wisdom of crowds on my side. If any commentor suggests a pair of names for two hermit crabs which are adopted by my fiancee, I’ll donate $20 to Habitat for Humanity in his or her name.

posted on Friday, February 11th, 2005 at 7:09 pm
comments

  1. Ted, Share some of the names that you came up with!

    Posted by Guy · February 11th, 2005 at 7:16 pm

  2. I don’t really remember. I do remember that I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny. I thought that they nicely complemented the name of our dog, Ramona. The judges were not swayed.

    Posted by Ted Barlow · February 11th, 2005 at 7:36 pm

  3. Hermit & Hismit.

    Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 11th, 2005 at 7:36 pm

  4. How about Cake and Cocktail :-)

    Posted by Randy Paul · February 11th, 2005 at 7:47 pm

  5. How about Cake and Cocktail :-)

    Posted by Randy Paul · February 11th, 2005 at 7:48 pm

  6. Gannon & Guckert?

    Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 11th, 2005 at 7:56 pm

  7. Having had hermit crabs as pets a couple of times, I will suggest Stop that Nocturnal Clunking Noise This Instant! and Wait—Where’d He Go?

    Posted by Bill Tozier · February 11th, 2005 at 7:58 pm

  8. “Hermit & Hismit.” LOL. I vote for that one. But how do we know they’re a male and a female?

    Posted by x · February 11th, 2005 at 7:58 pm

  9. leon and sophie

    Posted by r · February 11th, 2005 at 7:59 pm

  10. Buster & Body

    Posted by HP · February 11th, 2005 at 8:03 pm

  11. Fafnir & Giblets. What else?

    Posted by Barbara Tozier · February 11th, 2005 at 8:05 pm

  12. Dr. Zoidberg and Clamps

    Posted by Jerky · February 11th, 2005 at 8:05 pm

  13. Buster & Body (Or possibly 503 and Server Error, in honor of CT. Watch me double-post.)

    Posted by HP · February 11th, 2005 at 8:05 pm

  14. “I do remember that I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny.” Ok then I guess there’s no female in there. Too bad. (I almost read “Joey and Chandler” instead… errr…) Unoriginally, hermit made me think of Kermit, so, my shameless suggestion: Kermit and Elmo. Ouch.

    Posted by x · February 11th, 2005 at 8:06 pm

  15. Dr. Zoidberg and Clamps

    Posted by Jerky · February 11th, 2005 at 8:06 pm

  16. Chad and Jeremy? Salt n Peppah?

    Posted by Jeremy Osner · February 11th, 2005 at 8:07 pm

  17. Hermits, huh? How about Anthony and Giles? See: http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/sainta06.htm http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintg15.htm

    Posted by rea · February 11th, 2005 at 8:09 pm

  18. Go badass. Venom and Crusher.

    Posted by Cryptic Ned · February 11th, 2005 at 8:10 pm

  19. We don’t know what their genders are, and it’s likely that we never will. Don’t let that constrain your imagination. (I love “Stop that Nocturnal Clunking Noise This Instant!” The quiet scraping and clunking frequently reminds me of the old Steven King story “The Bogeyman”. Not that I’m chicken.)

    Posted by Ted Barlow · February 11th, 2005 at 8:10 pm

  20. Frannie and Zoe

    Posted by lordwhorfin · February 11th, 2005 at 8:12 pm

  21. Anomura and Paguridae

    Posted by cleek · February 11th, 2005 at 8:19 pm

  22. You could curry favor with your fellow CT-ites and name them John and Belle. But then they’d have to get a blog. You could name them J.D. and Greta, after famous human hermits. MKK

    Posted by Mary Kay · February 11th, 2005 at 8:23 pm

  23. Herman and Derek (or Keith, or Karl, or Barry). Herman’s Hermits

    Posted by Scott Spiegelberg · February 11th, 2005 at 8:26 pm

  24. El Bombastico and Un Hombre Muy Magnifico.

    Posted by Michael Davies · February 11th, 2005 at 8:28 pm

  25. How about El Bombastico and Un Hombre Muy Magnifico?

    Posted by Michael Davies · February 11th, 2005 at 8:30 pm

  26. Trixie and Bubbles.

    Posted by jif · February 11th, 2005 at 8:32 pm

  27. fanny & alexander

    Posted by athena · February 11th, 2005 at 8:34 pm

  28. If not Anthony and Giles for hermits, then Statler and Waldorf for crabs?

    Posted by Matt Weiner · February 11th, 2005 at 8:48 pm

  29. As hermits, the live in the Hermit Kingdom, right ? How about Amaterasu and Omikami.

    Posted by Jay Conner · February 11th, 2005 at 8:49 pm

  30. You gave her crabs? OMG! How about Itchy and Scratchy?

    Posted by Aaron · February 11th, 2005 at 8:49 pm

  31. Pride and Prejudice
    Fons and Origo
    Vine and Fig-tree

    Posted by SloLernr · February 11th, 2005 at 8:49 pm

  32. Cranky and crusty (Well, they are CRABS)

    Posted by nihil obstet · February 11th, 2005 at 8:52 pm

  33. You gave her crabs? OMG! How about Itchy and Scratchy?

    Posted by Aaron · February 11th, 2005 at 8:53 pm

  34. You gave her crabs? OMG! How about Itchy and Scratchy?

    Posted by Aaron · February 11th, 2005 at 8:54 pm

  35. Sorry about the multiples. I kept getting 404s and when I went back and refreshed, the post weren’t there.

    Posted by Aaron · February 11th, 2005 at 9:00 pm

  36. lola & verne (my parents bridge partners) tristan & isolde charles & camilla

    Posted by luckymann · February 11th, 2005 at 9:06 pm

  37. ******************************* Beanie & Cecil *******************************

    Posted by djs · February 11th, 2005 at 9:11 pm

  38. Crab Calloway and Crabby Hayes

    Posted by Robert Johnson · February 11th, 2005 at 9:17 pm

  39. Skitter and Scatter

    Posted by Walt Pohl · February 11th, 2005 at 9:27 pm

  40. Bill and Hillary FYI, using this fun tool, check out how Hillary™ apparently killed-off the name “Hillary”

    Posted by cleek · February 11th, 2005 at 9:36 pm

  41. Whoops, wrong country for Hermit Kingdom. Make it Yogi and Togi, Korean for here and there.

    Posted by Jay Conner · February 11th, 2005 at 9:38 pm

  42. Flash and Speedy?

    Posted by Chris Clarke · February 11th, 2005 at 9:48 pm

  43. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern

    Posted by fdl · February 11th, 2005 at 9:56 pm

  44. John the Baptist and Obi-wan Kenobi? (Crabby hermits :-)

    Posted by Redshift · February 11th, 2005 at 10:04 pm

  45. Given the shortlived nature of hermit crabs, that last seems like an unnecessarily heartless set-up for not all that much of a punchline.

    Posted by LizardBreath · February 11th, 2005 at 10:07 pm

  46. Sorry, last post referred to Rosencrantz & Guildenstern.

    Posted by LizardBreath · February 11th, 2005 at 10:10 pm

  47. How about Claude & Claudette?

    Posted by Robert B in DC · February 11th, 2005 at 10:39 pm

  48. Are you making fun of The Wisdom of Crowds? I just checked that book out the library this morning and will start reading this weekend. I hope you’re not dismissing it.

    Posted by Anita Hendersen · February 11th, 2005 at 10:57 pm

  49. My dogs are named Bonnie & Clyde, but you can’t have it. Hesse & Heydrich? Munster & Mankiewicz?

    Posted by bob mcmanus · February 11th, 2005 at 10:58 pm

  50. How about Ethan and Mattie?

    Posted by Eric Anderson · February 11th, 2005 at 11:21 pm

  51. I was a strong advocate for Joey and Johnny Are you a Calexico fan by any chance?

    Posted by ogmb · February 11th, 2005 at 11:24 pm

  52. From the Muppet Show Box seats. Waldorf & Statler

    Posted by totallyGreg · February 12th, 2005 at 12:02 am

  53. The Captain and Tenille. optionally: Simon and Simon.

    Posted by The Editors · February 12th, 2005 at 12:02 am

  54. Ever and anon.

    Posted by John Isbell · February 12th, 2005 at 12:26 am

  55. Fred ‘n’ Ginger! Bonnie ‘n’ Clyde! Laurel ‘n’ Hardy! Lennon ‘n’ MacCartney! Tom ‘n’ Jerry! Gilbert ‘n’ Sullivan! Peaches ‘n’ Creme! Mango ‘n’ Chutney! Serbo ‘n’ Croat! Banger ‘n’ Mash! Fish ‘n’ Chips! Pinky ‘n’ Perky! Sooty ‘n’ Sweep! Majikthijs ‘n’ Vroomfondel! Ford ‘n’ Arthur! Zaphod ‘n’ Trillian! Bosnia ‘n’ Herzogovina! Serbia ‘n’ Montenegro! Gin ‘n’ Tonic! Whisk(e)y ‘n’ Coke! Wodka ‘n’ Orange! Gilbert ‘n’ Sullivan! Rogers ‘n’ Hart Is there a shortage, round your way?

    Posted by des von bladet · February 12th, 2005 at 12:34 am

  56. I’m with LizardBreath—give them names that will enoble their deaths. John the Baptist and John of Patmos?

    Posted by Jackmormon · February 12th, 2005 at 1:13 am

  57. Dumb and Dumber

    Posted by fyreflye · February 12th, 2005 at 1:15 am

  58. Click and Clack

    Posted by bad Jim · February 12th, 2005 at 1:44 am

  59. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hermies/message/58487

    Posted by Shai · February 12th, 2005 at 2:11 am

  60. Harold & Maude Nicky & Paris Hepburn & Tracy Wallace & Gromit

    Posted by Jon H · February 12th, 2005 at 2:11 am

  61. doo wah diddy dum diddy doo (she can sing their names, too) doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo… (all join in) [applause]

    Posted by Movie Guy · February 12th, 2005 at 2:15 am

  62. Brooks and Safire?

    Posted by Jon H · February 12th, 2005 at 2:15 am

  63. Pete and Repeat?

    Posted by Bernard Yomtov · February 12th, 2005 at 2:24 am

  64. Vladimir and Estragon

    Posted by katy · February 12th, 2005 at 2:59 am

  65. Up is Down and Down is Up

    Posted by biz · February 12th, 2005 at 3:03 am

  66. I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

    Posted by Anonymous · February 12th, 2005 at 3:30 am

  67. I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

    Posted by Anonymous · February 12th, 2005 at 3:31 am

  68. I named my crabs Claud and Shelly

    Posted by Anonymous · February 12th, 2005 at 3:32 am

  69. Nebula and Apple would be new-age nice. But how about Keats and Chapman for that classic touch?

    Posted by peter ramus · February 12th, 2005 at 4:00 am

  70. Nest and Rest

    Posted by Rowen Blake · February 12th, 2005 at 5:11 am

  71. car and cdr

    Posted by anon · February 12th, 2005 at 5:29 am

  72. If they’re living together in the same tank, they’re obviously NOT hermit crabs. They’re cenobite crabs. Therefore: Pinhead and Chatterer.

    Posted by Slithy Tove · February 12th, 2005 at 5:35 am

  73. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince

    Posted by JP · February 12th, 2005 at 6:02 am

  74. Charles and Camilla

    Posted by susan · February 12th, 2005 at 6:19 am

  75. Clause and Deflect?

    Posted by bad Jim · February 12th, 2005 at 7:39 am

  76. Sushi and Sashimi Oscar and Felix Castor and Pollox (don’t try loudly calling them home) H1 and H2 The Amazing Rondos! Crunch! and Oh Shit! Mayo and Butter Mel and Danny (from ‘Lethal Claws 1’) Charles and Pamela

    Posted by Nabakov · February 12th, 2005 at 11:55 am

  77. Fuck,I meant Charles and Camillia. But I see luckyman beat me to it anyway. OK, Di and Dodi. Crabsky and Hutch Butch Hermit and the Sundance Shell Henry Crun and Minnie Bannister Alien and Predator Ludwig and Karl From my own experience with hermit crabs, you can coax em out of their shells, into they’ve retreated and blocked the entrance with that big flat claw when you pick ‘em up, by whistling very high pitched yet close and quiet. Try it. It does work.

    Posted by Nabakov · February 12th, 2005 at 12:09 pm

  78. How about taking them down to the seaside where they belong?

    Posted by Anonymous · February 12th, 2005 at 2:14 pm

  79. Abelard and Heloise

    Posted by liz · February 12th, 2005 at 2:15 pm

  80. Albin and Renato

    Posted by R J Keefe · February 12th, 2005 at 3:00 pm

  81. Sushi and Sashimi I knew a woman who had Siamese cats by those names. I have a friend who once had goldfish named Macaroni & Cheese. As a child, I had gerbils named Lucy & Linus. I must avoid this thread or I’m not going to get a thing done today. (And besides, I still stand behind my two suggestions supra: Hermit & Hismit, or Gannon & Guckert. No wait, scratch the latter; it may be too short-term topical. I have a 16-year-old cat named Raisa, which made perfect sense in 1989, given the high visibility of Mme Gorbachev. But today, you’d be surprised how many people say “That’s a pretty name. Did you make it up?”) OK, now I’m really getting out of here…

    Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 12th, 2005 at 3:14 pm

  82. Mr Crabs and Patrick

    Posted by cleek · February 12th, 2005 at 3:34 pm

  83. siskel and ebert pinchy and mojo sacco and vanzetti simon and garfunkel teenwolf and teenwolf too

    Posted by katherine · February 12th, 2005 at 4:10 pm

  84. I named my crabs Claude and Shelly.

    Posted by A Nonymous · February 12th, 2005 at 4:12 pm

  85. Bubble and Squeak Tessio and Clemenza Rico and Youngblood?

    Posted by consigliere · February 12th, 2005 at 4:16 pm

  86. Merry & Pippin Mr. Krabs & Plankton Aziraphale & Crowley

    Posted by maurinsky · February 12th, 2005 at 4:40 pm

  87. Kaczynski & Hughes

    Posted by jw · February 12th, 2005 at 5:19 pm

  88. Worker & Parasite.

    Posted by Jason McCullough · February 12th, 2005 at 6:57 pm

  89. Worker & Parasite.

    Posted by Jason McCullough · February 12th, 2005 at 6:58 pm

  90. Strange & Norrell (Or, Drawlight & Lascelles) Johnson & Boswell

    Posted by Jon H · February 12th, 2005 at 7:40 pm

  91. Strange & Norrell (Or, Drawlight & Lascelles) Johnson & Boswell

    Posted by Jon H · February 12th, 2005 at 7:41 pm

  92. Crabbe & Goyle

    Posted by clueless · February 12th, 2005 at 11:12 pm

  93. Cancer and Chemo.

    Posted by Ereshkigal · February 12th, 2005 at 11:26 pm

  94. They better be very different sizes or be in very different-looking shells or you can use one name for both, since you won’t be able to tell them apart. That being said: Slip and Slide Button and Hook Larry and Curly Moe and Shemp Amas and Amat (then, if you get a third hermie…Amo!) Invino and Veritas Homer and Virgil …and I better stop, right now.

    Posted by CaseyL · February 12th, 2005 at 11:55 pm

  95. Rocky & Bullwinkle!

    Posted by JeffL · February 13th, 2005 at 12:01 am

  96. Ayn and Nathaniel

    Posted by Jon H · February 13th, 2005 at 12:51 am

  97. Ayn and Nathaniel

    Posted by Jon H · February 13th, 2005 at 12:51 am

  98. Canon and Nanoc (music joke).

    Posted by Scott Spiegelberg · February 13th, 2005 at 12:51 am

  99. I’m suprised no one has said: Tweedledum and Tweedledee

    Posted by jdevries · February 13th, 2005 at 1:09 am

  100. sid & nancy george & laura

    Posted by rwc · February 13th, 2005 at 1:11 am

  101. amos & moses

    Posted by gratefulbead · February 13th, 2005 at 1:45 am

  102. caseyl, to tell ‘em apart, you paint the names on the shells – along with some nice racing stripes if yer so inclined. Bogie & Bacall Godzilla & Gojira Little Boy & Fatman Kirk & Spock Dubya & Bambi Fluffy & Cuddles Brutus & Spike

    Posted by Nabakov · February 13th, 2005 at 3:38 am

  103. I affectionately call my daughter’s goldfish Sushi and Sashimi

    Posted by Pheidias · February 13th, 2005 at 4:23 am

  104. Doofus and Goober -Antony and Cleopatra -Slip and Shod -Incrab and Outcrab (philosophy joke, ask Kieran to ask L.A.) -Nook and Cranny -Ontology and Philology (to be decided upon by which one recapitulates which) -Mr. Fantastic and SheHulk -Essence and Accident -Tit and Tat -Hodge and Podge -Willy and Nilly -Hoi and Polloi -Flotsam and Jetsam -Balder and Dash -Flim and Flam -Helter and Skelter -Etc. and etcetera

    Posted by entity · February 13th, 2005 at 4:27 am

  105. Charm and strangeness?

    Posted by Randolph Fritz · February 13th, 2005 at 5:58 am

  106. Gemeinschaft & Gesellschaft.

    Posted by Uncle Kvetch · February 13th, 2005 at 3:16 pm

  107. Morbidly Obese and Anal Avalanche

    Posted by a pie cooling on a windowsill · February 13th, 2005 at 6:30 pm

  108. Morbidly Obese and Anal Avalanche

    Posted by a pie cooling on a windowsill · February 13th, 2005 at 6:31 pm

  109. Stalin & Beria

    Posted by Gozer · February 14th, 2005 at 4:40 am

  110. Kang and Kodos?

    Posted by Larv · February 14th, 2005 at 6:57 am

  111. Has anyone suggested Lennon and McCartney? Goofus and Gallant? John-John and Carolyn? Ebert and Roper? Siskel and Ebert? Meat and Potatoes? Frank and Earnest? Richler and Coen? Ghost and Steve?

    Posted by rebecca · February 14th, 2005 at 4:53 pm

  112. “You could curry favor with your fellow CT-ites and name them John and Belle. But then they’d have to get a blog.” Ooh, I like that. You could put a sign up over them, saying “John and Belle Have A Cage” (or A Tank, or A Shell, or whatever)

    Posted by Jon H · February 14th, 2005 at 8:18 pm

  113. You will let us know what names they end up with, won’t you?

    Posted by Jackmormon · February 15th, 2005 at 6:31 pm

  114. How about “Obi-Wan” and “Zarathustra”? “Blake” and “Shell(e)y”? “Mary” and “Percy”? “Page” and “Plant”? “Kruschev” and “Castro”? “Asterix” and “Obelix”? “Wordsworth” and “Coleridge”? “Starsky” and “Hutch”? “Peaches” and “Herb”? “Ben” and “Jerry”? “Butch” and “Sundance”? “Elton” and “Bernie”?

    Posted by Michael · February 16th, 2005 at 1:58 am

  115. And you will donate the $20 to Habitats for Hermanity?

    Posted by Nabakov · February 16th, 2005 at 2:40 am

  116. His & Hers Dead or Alive Crusty & Flaky Candide, or Optimism Wit and its relation to the unconscious

    Posted by bad Jim · February 17th, 2005 at 10:24 am