Great Headlines of Modern Times

by Brian on October 8, 2003

From the front page of yesterday’s Boston Metro:

Rice to get bigger hand in Iraq

Some of the jokes here are too much fun to refuse.

Kerry to get bigger hair in Paris
Bush to get bigger nose in New York
Blogger to get bigger foot in mouth

And there’s plenty more of these in my mailbox, but I’ll refrain from them for fear of triggering New Zealand aiport filters.

The sports page of the Metro also had a nice Dewey beats Truman moment too. In the Hot/Not column of the sports pages, Colts coach Tony Dungy was listed as being Not after his old team, the Bucs, whipped his Colts. What was surprising about this was that they had the box score of the Red Sox game that only ended about half an hour before the Colts staged the most dramatic late-game comeback in Monday Night Football history.



MIchael C 10.08.03 at 7:05 pm

From the 1980’s: one of the London papers had this headline:

British left waffles on Falklands

Wonderful. Classic.


Matt 10.08.03 at 8:23 pm

And a classic from the NYT back in the Khrushchev days of extending agriculture into Siberia–

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal.


Matt Weiner 10.09.03 at 12:10 am

So did
British push bottles up Germans
British push bottles up German rear
actually appear during WWII, or is it an urban legend?


Michael 10.09.03 at 7:50 am

Just this week we had:

Arafat Swears in New Palestinian Cabinet

I think some would say that was the plan all along….


Ian 10.09.03 at 12:42 pm

My local newspaper had as front page headline

“Mouse seen in foodstore”


Joshua W. Burton 10.09.03 at 2:39 pm

“Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole In One”
“Teen Sex Problem Is Mounting”


jackson 10.09.03 at 10:46 pm

via Dave Barry, referring to a titanic struggle between two Pacific Northwest college women’s teams (I forget the sport):

“Husky women subdue Ducks”


neil 10.12.03 at 8:56 am

When I read the headline, I got a mental picture of rice being poured into an outstretched hand, which suddenly, well, got bigger. It would make a good Flash cartoon.

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