Help Find the Authentic Face of the Left

by Ted on February 2, 2005

Heavy blog readers know that Glenn Reynolds has picked an obscure wanker and dubbed him “The Authentic Face of the Left”. I can scarcely imagine a more dignified and convincing form of argument; not since a particularly devastating eighth grade game of “That’s Your Girlfriend” have I been so ashamed. (Hilzoy is not so contrite, for some reason.)

But has Reynolds picked the right target? It takes a very particular individual to represent the authentic face of roughly 40% of all Americans. I think that we can do better.

Nosfer “Left Eye” Atu

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– European. (“Providing financial aid to terrorists who target European civilians)
– Wears sneakers. For sneaking?
– Affiliation with left-wing Hollywood types
– Undead bloodsucking vampire.

Jeffrey Dahmer

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– Wisonsinite. Possibly played a part in massive Democratic voting fraud in that state.
– Homosexualist tendencies. Might have gay-married his victims before killing/ eating them. Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.

Gerard Depardieu

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– French-looking
– Ugly. (Perhaps we should draw on some stink lines and devil horns, for a more accurate reproduction of the ugliness and stinkiness of the modern Left.)
– Favors weakening of immigration laws, if “Green Card” is any indication

My dog Ramona

– Lives from handout to handout
– Borderline-traitorous barking.