On reflection, maybe the ban on carry on luggage won’t be so bad: without a pc, let alone a phone, there need be no guilt about watching some movies on the seat-back video instead of working. My colleague who writes inflammatory editorials arguing for segmenting families with kids from other passengers, or charging higher prices for kids, because of the externalities they impose, will no doubt be delighted at the thought that a ban on baby food will deter more families from flying.
Another friend thinks the logical conclusion is to fly naked – but then he was a fan of the now-grounded Hooters Air. The reality would be less delightful than he imagines, I suspect, given the unbuff bodies that most of us would get to expose to our fellow fliers. On the other hand, I noticed during a previous flight in “a tad above steerage” that BA provides First Class passengers with a delightful pair of blue pyjamas. Perhaps this generosity could be extended to all classes, and terminals transformed into giant changing rooms?
{ 20 comments }
mpowell 08.11.06 at 4:00 pm
At some point, this just gets ridiculous. I am willing to accept some risk of death, either by crash or by terrorist action when I get on a plane. As long as I’m not imposing externalities on others (b/c terrorists are probably not going to be able to take over piloting any more planes), there’s nothing wrong w/ saying this is going too far.
Its too bad we couldn’t handle this issue more intelligently. With all the additional cost in time , hassle and security payroll you have to wonder if we wouldn’t be better off w/ increased monitoring and security personnel on board flights. It seems like on board bomb assembly should not be possible if the right person is watching.
Matt 08.11.06 at 4:07 pm
Are any flights right now, other than those coming out of the UK, actually not allowing carry-on bags? I must admit that security theator bores me, and this certaily falls in to that category, so I’ve not read all the reports very closely. Those I’ve read indicate pretty clearly that this isn’t a new threat or idea, and that the new measures are a sort of show. But, from what I could tell most airlines and airports, other than those in the UK, are allowing carry-on bags, books, etc., just not liquids. That’s fairly stupid in itself, but there’s no sense in making things out to be worse than they are just yet (and good reason to push back, of course.)
Steve 08.11.06 at 4:08 pm
Flying naked would make what I think is the likely next development in the security protocol a bit easier to implement.
First, there was the shoe bomber, so now forever more we have to take off our shoes for security.
Then, the liquid-explosives plot, so now forever more all liquids are confiscated at security.
The logical next step for the aspiring airplane exploder is of course to get on board with dynamite packed in his (or her) ass.
We think airport security is unpleasant now? Just wait.
Hedley Lamarr 08.11.06 at 4:08 pm
First they came for the lip gloss…
magistra 08.11.06 at 4:23 pm
Flights from the UK are banning just about everything – no books, papers, food, water, you can’t even take your glasses case on. Having just flown back to the UK from the USA in the early morning of Thu 10th with a three-year old, my immediate thought was: thank goodness I missed the restrictions. The thought of trying to entertain a small child for eight hours with no toys, books or crayons doesn’t bear thinking about. (As it was there were moments on the flight when the possibility of instant death from an explosion didn’t seem such a bad option).
My forecast is a) that with fewer distractions on board there are going to be more air rage incidents and b) that they won’t keep the ban on papers and books for long because of so many complaints from business class.
Don McArthur 08.11.06 at 4:36 pm
‘Fly Naked’ was suggested by Archie Bunker in the original 1970’s “All In The Family” TV sitcom. He was speaking with Mike (“Meathead”) about the first air hijackings, and he proposed that everyone not only fly naked, but be issued a handgun at the start of the flight.
Don’t let Instapundit hear of it, it’ll be before Congress…
abb1 08.11.06 at 4:49 pm
First they have to make sure no one on the plane is wearing those orange Leeuwenhose trousers. Strip ’em, bastards. There is already a precedent, so no problem here. Then they can extend it to other colors.
The Ridger 08.11.06 at 9:57 pm
Who was it on The Daily Show a couple of years back – Vance DeGeneres? Stephen Colbert? someone – suggested that everyone fly naked with no luggage and just buy everything new when they got where they were going: security and a boost to the economy at the same time!
bad Jim 08.12.06 at 2:09 am
There’s an old story that one airline’s promotion of its leather seats in first class suffered in translation: “Fly in leather” became “Fly naked” in Spanish.
Unfortunately, it seems only to be a joke; had it been real, the response could have been offered as marketing data.
Ray 08.12.06 at 2:24 am
There isn’t a complete ban on books and papers. You can’t bring them through the first security check, but you can buy them in the departure area and carry them on board.
Rory 08.12.06 at 5:30 am
A point that seems to have been forgotten: holds aren’t heated, and batteries don’t like being frozen. Is it worth coming out at the other end of a ten-hour flight with a laptop that holds a charge for twenty minutes?
And who’d be a musician…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4784225.stm?ls
NPCurmudgeon 08.12.06 at 8:45 am
I’ll be traveling to England next month. Our corporate travel department has suggested that I fy into Paris, and then take the Eurostar (chunnel train) from Paris to London. Unless the carry-on ban is somehow extended to trains — a pretty tough call, in my opinion — or de Gaulle follows Heathrow’s lead, this sounds like a pretty good idea to me.
Maynard Handley 08.12.06 at 9:52 am
”
On reflection, maybe the ban on carry on luggage won’t be so bad: without a pc, let alone a phone, there need be no guilt about watching some movies on the seat-back video instead of working.
”
You know, Matt, it is these sorts of snarky, idiotic comments, the sorts of things that suggest you have never flown in your life, that make David Brooks so irritating.
Leaving aside the issue of the quality of inflight entertainment, there remains
* a long wait in the airport between security and boarding a plane (at least an hour, often two hours, frequently four to six hours when planes are delayed)
* a long wait in the plane as it takes on people, taxies, takes off, and then general doing nothing that I’ve never understood, before the inflight entertainment kicks in (at least an hour, often two)
* and then the reverse of these two processes prior to landing, taxiing, waiting to disembark, and waiting in various lines before you can leave the airport.
While GWB and his supporters may consider the prospect of sitting slack-jawed for six hours staring at the walls not especially problematic, the fact is that the 5% of us who actually make anything happen in modern society didn’t get to where we are by developing brains that happily switch off when asked to do so.
Matt McIrvin 08.12.06 at 10:29 am
A few years ago I wrote a zine-published short story that opened with a character getting off an airplane shivering in disposable paper clothes, and stepping into in what was called an “arrival vestibule” containing clothing shops (he ends up in the paper jumpsuit longer than planned due to being whisked out a side door to a Secret Government Installation). I think I mentioned that all luggage had to be shipped on a separate flight. It was hardly original with me, of course.
Mo MacArbie 08.12.06 at 11:37 am
I get to fly on Wednesday, and I have have a mind to bring a couple bags of empty bottles with me just to dump them at security. Flood the system!
Fledermaus 08.12.06 at 12:49 pm
In the bar the other night, while suddering at the idea of nekkid flying (have you seen the people on an average flight? Do you really want to see them nekkid?) we came up with a really good idea – put locks on the overhead bins that can only be opened from the cockpit.
Our thinking was that this is only annoying because I like to carry on my suitcase so I don’t have to wait for the luggage to show up at the terminal.
nick s 08.12.06 at 5:47 pm
Our corporate travel department has suggested that I fy into Paris, and then take the Eurostar (chunnel train) from Paris to London.
I’ve not flown out of a London terminal in about five years; changing at Schiphol is much more convenient if your destination is outside the Home Counties. And I suspect that changing at Schiphol/Paris/Frankfurt on long-hauls is likely to become even popular.
the fact is that the 5% of us who actually make anything happen in modern society didn’t get to where we are by developing brains that happily switch off when asked to do so.
I recommend strong sedatives. Which raises another question: will people be choosing to drink themselves into a stupor in the airport bar, rather than endure the flight conscious? It’s only a matter of time, I think, before we hear of soused passengers being dumped off in Maine or Newfoundland.
jeremy 08.12.06 at 9:05 pm
I wonder if it might be worthwhile to think of these recent changes to flight rules as part of a larger cross-purpose war against cosmopolitanism. terrorism keeps people at home, the flight restrictions keep people at home. the lack of travel certain impinges upon peoples capacity to see the other as self in terms of worldliness….
J. Michael Neal 08.13.06 at 1:59 am
I recommend strong sedatives. Which raises another question: will people be choosing to drink themselves into a stupor in the airport bar, rather than endure the flight conscious?
I have a Valium prescription. Imagine what I could sell those babies for in the waiting area.
Steve LaBonne 08.13.06 at 9:33 am
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