Quokkas safe

by John Q on May 14, 2008

Australia is well known as a sophisticated modern nation, prominent in scientific and cultural endeavors of all kinds, and not characterized by marsupials in the main street, top paddock or other incongruous locations. That’s why I hasten to forestall the rumors that Western Australian Opposition leader Troy Buswell may have done something inappropriate with a quokka. Sad to say, all the other rumors are true.

{ 23 comments }

1

Possum Comitatus 05.14.08 at 12:22 pm

“Australia is….. not characterized by marsupials in the main street, top paddock or other incongruous locations”

Huh – so you may think John! :-)

We are legion!

2

leinad 05.14.08 at 12:29 pm

I wonder if it was Richard Gere stuff or just plain old Quokka Soccer“?

3

Kevin Donoghue 05.14.08 at 2:10 pm

John,

Is this sophistication you speak of displacing fine old Australian customs? Is it still usual to send dead cats to unpopular politicians? I believe Artie Calwell boasted of receiving 30 of them after one particular speech, but that was a long time ago.

4

marcel 05.14.08 at 3:33 pm

Whenever I hear about “Australian sophistication”, I reach for my Monty Python.

“Australia” and “sophisticated” should never occur in the same sentence without the word “not”.

5

Alex 05.14.08 at 4:07 pm

Throws a new light on the Wikipedia mention of his “crawling around on hands and knees pretending to be her husband, “groaning and writhing in sexual pleasure””.

Classy.

6

taj 05.14.08 at 4:24 pm

This is so surreal that I had to check the domain a couple of times before I believed it was really the Australian.

7

rea 05.14.08 at 5:06 pm

What hypocrites! The arguments of Mr. Buswell’s opponents are, of course, a classic example of the “tu quokka” fallacy . . .

8

Colin Danby 05.14.08 at 6:04 pm

“I’m not aware that I’ve caused any offence to a quokka.”

A bit too carefully phrased.

9

flubber 05.14.08 at 6:35 pm

Buswell: Chair-sniffer denies touching quokka.

!!!

10

Laura (Carroll) 05.14.08 at 10:08 pm

Well, how can you be so sure John? And what’s this about no marsupials in the main street. Have you never looked up at the overhead power lines at night.

11

taj 05.14.08 at 10:15 pm

Article 196156 of the Space Corp Directives: Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women’s gym will be discharged without trial.

Soon to be empirically answered Very Important Question: Is possible to continue to have a viable political career after becoming an admitted chair-sniffer?

12

Helen 05.15.08 at 4:46 am

And what’s this about no marsupials in the main street. Have you never looked up at the overhead power lines at night.

A young possum* once rushed out at me, bit the toe of my boot and ran away. We were just on the edge of the central business district of Melbourne.

*A marsupial, not to be confused with the US possum

13

nick s 05.15.08 at 6:14 am

Is possible to continue to have a viable political career after becoming an admitted chair-sniffer?

In WA? Only time will tell.

But the real fault is with Aussie Rules and ARL: if there weren’t competing claims on the term ‘football’, then the term ‘quokka soccer’ simply wouldn’t exist.

14

Nick 05.15.08 at 7:27 am

I notice Wikipedia says the quokka ‘recycles a small amount of its own waste materials’.
Presumably Mr Buswell will shortly be doing so too . . .

15

John Quiggin 05.15.08 at 9:15 am

#10 Don’t tell them that, Laura. And whatever you do, don’t let on about the drop bears.

16

ajay 05.15.08 at 9:17 am

And what’s this about no marsupials in the main street. Have you never looked up at the overhead power lines at night.

Look more closely. Those are all males; in other words, parsupials.

17

SJ 05.15.08 at 9:21 am

*A marsupial, not to be confused with the US possum

The American things are called opossums, and they’re marsupials, too.

That’s how our guys got to be called “possums”, because of their similarity to the marsupial opossums.

18

chris y 05.15.08 at 9:22 am

A marsupial, not to be confused with the US possum

The US possum is too a marsupial.

19

Alex 05.15.08 at 11:45 am

The weird thing here is that the denial is so nonspecific; nobody’s willing to be clear about what he didn’t do to the quokka.

20

Dan S. 05.15.08 at 11:45 am

Oh great, now come the arguments about whether opossums are ‘marsupial enough’. We need to get past the mire of identity politics & obsession with authenticity . . .

21

herr doktor bimler 05.15.08 at 11:52 am

Australia is….. not characterized by marsupials in the main street, top paddock
Bear in mind that the Australian national anthem invites the listener to tie the singer’s kangaroo down, sport.

22

Amit 05.15.08 at 1:29 pm

Great, John. Some of us like to get our laughs by using the internet to tell useful idiots our American friends that their impressions are incorrect, that Australians are in fact an urbane and cultured people, with nary a Bazza McKenzie or Les Patterson among us. And then you go and let the quokka out of the bag…

23

John Quiggin 05.15.08 at 9:27 pm

#21 What a travesty of the truth! Our national song tells the story of a sheep-stealing itinerant who escapes the forces of wealth and state power by jumping into a pond and drowning. In addition to raising our well-known social consciousness, it is notable for referring only to placental mammals.

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