Via Leiter, this disturbing story about gnomes being banned from a church cemetery. This is the CofE: it seems a bit ironic that a church that not long ago had Bishops openly doubting whether God exists is so adamant about the non-existence of ‘real’ gnomes.
{ 13 comments }
Cryptic Ned 12.03.08 at 3:43 pm
At least they have reached a consensus on the dogma that if God exists, He is not a gnome.
Peter 12.03.08 at 4:11 pm
One could avoid the “unnatural creatures” issue and simply argue that whimsical objects like garden gnomes just aren’t appropriate in a cemetery.
ajay 12.03.08 at 4:36 pm
Peter – they did; according to the article, the reason given by the spokesman for the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells was: “Things such as gnomes and plastic flowers are not permitted because they are aesthetically unattractive and they make it harder to maintain the grounds. The historic churchyards are part of Somerset and we want to keep them tidy and safe.”
There is no such thing as a real gnome so why should we have such unnatural creatures in churchyards?”
Excellent. My plan to have my mortal remains marked by an immense granite-carved LOLCAT, consisting of a 12-foot kitten looking sad and bearing the epitaph
I HAD A LIEF
BUT THEN I LIVD IT
is still OK.
MarkUp 12.03.08 at 4:38 pm
But what [else] will Gnomes [be allowed to] do, especially if proposed happy hour changes come about. Do the Nazgûl ride?
Michael Drake 12.03.08 at 4:53 pm
It’s really quite simple. We can’t have dwellers of the underground spelunking about in our cemeteries.
belle le triste 12.03.08 at 5:04 pm
taking sides: gargoyles* versus gnomes
of course the sides and top of a church are doubtless in some sense not “in” the churchyard
*in eire read sheela-na-gigs (down which alleyway i for one wd prefer gnomes did not go)
Cryptic Ned 12.03.08 at 9:13 pm
Or should that be “sheelas-na-gig”?
vivian 12.04.08 at 1:41 am
I shurely hope this fellow has a backup plan…
Hogan 12.04.08 at 6:18 pm
I saw an essay once about an Anglican vicar in Ireland twenty or so years ago who woke up one morning and realized that God is a woman. So he completely made over his church and liturgy and vestments and everything to reflect this new revelation. Apparently the congregation was fine with it, since at least he hadn’t become a stinking Catholic.
Charlie 12.05.08 at 3:48 am
Ajay, you are the wind beneath my wings.
ajay 12.05.08 at 11:14 am
I CAN HAS SURE AND CERTAIN HOPE OF RESURRECTION?
KTHX
Doctor Science 12.06.08 at 3:31 am
ajay, I think that last one (#11) needs to sign off with “C U L8R”, don’t you?
ajay 12.08.08 at 10:21 am
NOT DED
BRB
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