Ever More Zombies!

by John Holbo on January 30, 2009

The Little Professor points us to the forthcoming Pride and Prejudice and Zombies:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies—Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen’s beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen’s classic novel to new legions of fans.

She then suggests some additional titles. I can’t believe she left out War and Peace and Zombies, however. Now 50% longer! And you’d have these great contrasts between the command styles of the Prussian and French and Russian and zombie generals. (Writes itself.)

But Marvel comics is ahead of the literary curve, as always, with Marvel Zombies. They specifically explore one possibility that Miriam sees as needing careful treatment: what if a vampire became a zombie? A vambie! (In related news: witchaloks!)

UPDATE: Come to think of it, this old literary mash-up post – continued here – is even funnier than zombies. In all modesty.

{ 23 comments }

1

Seth Finkelstein 01.30.09 at 9:43 am

But Morbius was a living vampire.

Vampires vs. Zombies strikes me as a awesome premise though (are they immune to each other? can they convert each other? will there be factions arguing for a two-state solution with humans as common cattle?)

2

yabonn 01.30.09 at 9:48 am

http://www.l4d.com/

Desktop Tower Defense and zombies, but with a little more zombies.

And shotguns – taste great together.

3

Freshly Squeezed Cynic 01.30.09 at 10:43 am

Someone came to the same conclusion you did, Seth.

4

Stuart 01.30.09 at 11:00 am

If a vampire zombie is a vambie, that puts a different complexion on this film:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034492/

5

David Moles 01.30.09 at 11:10 am

It crossed my mind some years ago to do War and Peace as WW2, with tank battles etc. … but I never thought of just dumping the Project Gutenberg edition into a word processor and going to town. I am impressed.

6

John Holbo 01.30.09 at 1:02 pm

The Russian general yelling: “Make them eat horsebrains!”

7

roy belmont 01.30.09 at 5:45 pm

Grateful this morning am I for a strong constitution and a resilient psyche, and a now slow to respond imagination in addition, as else the immediate flanking of the John Martyn Is Dead post by this above it and the first zombie post below it could easily have lead to unpleasant thoughts and images.

8

Mike 01.30.09 at 6:11 pm

Aren’t vampires basically intelligent zombies, anyway?

What sort of qualities would a vambie have? You have to shoot it in the head instead of stab it in the heart? I don’t get it.

9

Aulus Gellius 01.30.09 at 8:13 pm

I sort of suspect that “Vambie meets Godzilla” already exists; I imagine it as being Japanese, and having roughly the same budget as “Bambi meets Godzilla.”

10

Seth Finkelstein 01.30.09 at 8:38 pm

“What sort of qualities would a vambie have?”

Drinks blood and eats brains.

“You have to shoot it in the head instead of stab it in the heart?”

Both! At the same time!

11

Righteous Bubba 01.30.09 at 8:42 pm

Also better hygiene than the usual zombie, but less picky taste than vampires. Able to play checkers.

12

Mike 01.30.09 at 11:09 pm

What sort of accent would it have? Would it moan “BBBRRRAAIIINNNSS!!” in a Transylvanian accent, or whisper sweet, Victorian nothings into your ear in low guttural belch?

13

Warren Terra 01.31.09 at 12:16 am

I don’t think you’ve linked to it yet, but the Zombie Kids Vs Normal Kids At The Playground artwork that’s been zipping around the interwebs is reasonably relevant, and very funny.

14

Seth Finkelstein 01.31.09 at 1:46 am

Hmm, after thinking about it for a while (yes, I know …), I’ve come to the conclusion that Vampires and Zombies should be pretty much immune to each other.

Vampires create other vampires by returning blood to the victim, but Zombies have poor (no?) circulation.

Vampires do have circulation (you don’t hear “He didn’t bleed, he must be … a vampire”), but they don’t get viruses (ever hear of a vampire with a cold?), so they won’t be Zombied.

Morbius (pictured) is an exception, since he’s a living vampire (he has circulation and is not supernatural in nature). He probably also has a Greek accent.

15

Barry Freed 01.31.09 at 5:04 am

What sort of qualities would a vambie have? You have to shoot it in the head instead of stab it in the heart? I don’t get it.

A wooden stake through the brain, silly.

16

Joshua Holmes 01.31.09 at 4:01 pm

I can’t believe you guys missed the easy one: Zombie Bible. The Zombie Jews spent 40 years in the wilderness not because they were lost, but because they walk so damn slow.

17

Mike 01.31.09 at 4:33 pm

“A wooden stake through the brain, silly”

Doye! And here I’ve been, trying to shoot them in the brain and stab them in the heart at the same time. This will be much easier.

18

garymar 02.01.09 at 12:30 am

Are you people really academics?

19

Barry Freed 02.01.09 at 12:42 am

Are you Gary Mar of SUNY at Stony Brook and fuzzy logic fame?

20

garymar 02.01.09 at 1:15 am

Sorry to disappoint — no, I’m not.

21

Hattie 02.01.09 at 8:09 am

I think just about any book could be spiced up with a zombie or two.

22

Amit 02.02.09 at 1:51 am

If you liked Pride and Prejudice and Zombies you’ll love The Remains of the Day of the Triffids. Thrown together once again after most of England is blinded watching the pier lights go on, Stevens and Miss Kenton fight their way across a darkening island back to Darlington Hall, and establish a cosy community threatened by marauders and giant sting-wielding ambulatory plants. Miss Kenton comes to realise that beneath his reserved exterior, Stevens is every inch a man.

23

ajay 02.02.09 at 9:52 am

Or Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in “The Road to Stalingrad”? (Screenplay and original book by John Erickson)

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