The big questions

by Eszter Hargittai on April 9, 2004

Last weekend when I realized the NCAA Final Four championships were being played on the first night of Passover, I couldn’t help but wonder whether Elijah would be interested in watching basketball.

I see now that others are pondering similarly important questions with respect to this week’s holidays. The Head Heeb wonders what would be a good Jewish substitute for the Easter Bunny. I think my vote would be to let it be so we don’t add to the ways in which these holidays can be commercialized. But if I want to play along, I’ll say I think we should have little personified matzah. They could have facial features and arms and legs. It would resemble SpongeBob SquarePants. I think it could be cute.



Daniel Geffen 04.09.04 at 7:59 pm

Wouldn’t the Angel of Death be more appropriate?


John Isbell 04.09.04 at 8:07 pm

I think Elijah would sympathize with the people being lifted into the air. Maybe if we could arrange a fiery chariot.


Decnavda 04.09.04 at 10:04 pm

Why not just call it the Passover Bunny? Rabbits and eggs were originally symbols of the Pagan spring equinox celebrations. Christians stole them. Why can’t Jews?


Decnavda 04.09.04 at 10:18 pm

Actually, the commercialized versions of Christmas and Easter are so comercialized and so reliant on Pagan symbols, I’ve often wondered why Jews DON’T participate.

I am an agnostic, and while I still lived in the former Confederacy, I felt somewhat icky and hypocritical participating in these hollidays, because the regious meaning was (and still is, I think) taken very seriously. Now I live in California. The hollidays are just as big, but Jesus is nowhere to be seen, and I have no hypocritical feelings participating in these commercalized pagan rituals. Most Jews I know around here are as secular as I am, so I honestly can’t figgure why there is such a big deal for them not to participate.

I mean, wasn’t Secular Christmas practically CREATED by Jewish Hollywood producers in the middle of the last century? So why should they be denied any of the fun?

Actually, maybe I should take back most of this, because, thinking more about it, they actually aren’t denied any of the fun, at least in December. Nobody here seems to celebrate “Christmas” anyway, we always celebrate “The Hollidays”. Whatever, it’s all good.


John Quiggin 04.09.04 at 11:54 pm

Naturally, I’ll advocate joint Jewish-Australian support for the bilby.


Tom T. 04.10.04 at 6:21 am

Decnavda, I think what you’re referring to as “secular Christmas” goes back to the Victorians.

As for Easter, I would hope that any alternative holiday would include the traditional flogging of the bunny.


Jeffrey Kramer 04.10.04 at 4:43 pm

We also need a song to compete with “Easter Parade.” I think “Parsley, Sage, Charoseth and Thyme” has a nice ring.


Thlayli 04.10.04 at 5:07 pm

Morty the Matzah.

Works for me.


Bernard Yomtov 04.11.04 at 7:52 pm

How about a frog?


david 04.12.04 at 6:27 am

should have little personified matzah. They could have facial features
and arms and legs. It would resemble SpongeBob SquarePants.

How did you come up with such a perfect description of Chabad’s Mr. Matzah without having seen him?


eszter 04.13.04 at 1:55 am

David, thanks for sharing, how cute. It’s not exactly what I was thinking (I was thinking long dangling feet and legs), but quite close. That’s a neat site.

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