Not the kind of bottle I need

by Kieran Healy on February 28, 2005

Inside the top of the “Jones Soda”: I just opened it says “Take Charge of Your Life and Decisions.” I’m wondering whether doing this is compatible with accepting advice from a soft-drink bottle.



Ronald Brak 02.28.05 at 5:07 am

The bottom of my beer bottle says, “Open other end.”


Ronald Brak 02.28.05 at 5:09 am

The top of my beer bottle says, “Instructions other end.”


joejoejoe 02.28.05 at 6:34 am

I’m suprised it didn’t say “Bwahaha…you just spend $1.50 on sugar water. Sucker!”. That would be truth in advertising. Drink plain water. It’s got hydrogen AND oxygen!


IanJ 02.28.05 at 12:41 pm

I was persuaded/told by my supervisor to write my dissertation on the subject of personal autonomy. Somehow something seemed not quite right about that…


john c. halasz 02.28.05 at 12:43 pm

It’s not the soda bottle that should inspire you. It’s the burping genie inside.


FL 02.28.05 at 3:54 pm

You’ve got to climb the ladder before kicking it away, Kieran.


HP 02.28.05 at 8:13 pm

Once, in a Chinese restaurant, I took my fortune cookie, broke it in two, popped half in my mouth, and went to retrieve the fortune from the other half. I realized I was chewing on paper at almost the exact same moment that I noticed the fortune had been torn in two. Rescuing the sodden half from my mouth, I laid it out next to the dry half, to reveal the following fortune: “You will learn from your mistake.”

I looked at my dinner companion and said, “Well, I’ll never do that again.”


Mike Huben 02.28.05 at 9:45 pm

Probably has all the authority of the Celestial Seasonings tea boxes.

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