England vs Ecuador

by Kieran Healy on June 25, 2006

The English pundits are split between those who think the main enemy is Sven-Goran Eriksson and those who think it is the weather. Ecuador not so much. Counting references to the “searing heat” and “fierce humidity” could make for a drinking game of some kind. On the “BBC page”:http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2006/4991536.stm for the game we see the following already, an hour before kickoff:

bq. “”It can’t be ruled out that Sunday in Stuttgart could be the hottest day of the World Cup – it’s going to be a scorcher,” said ARD television weatherman Joerg Kachelmann. … captain David Beckham citing the heat as one of the factors behind their poor second-half performance … worrying news for England, with temperatures in Stuttgart potentially climbing to 35C during the game. … The weather forecast is proving worryingly accurate. … The sun is beating down relentlessly as the temperatures soar. … It’s unbelievably hot in Stuttgart as England fans arrive in their droves. … They have already been forced to endure fierce heat with the temperature already 32C and expected to get hotter by kick-off time. … *A glimmer of hope for England*: a few patches of cloud – *cirrocumulus if I’m not mistaken* – have suddenly appeared. England will pray they grow in number, and quickly.”

Cirrocumulus to the rescue! Sven, in fairness, isn’t making that excuse: “With concerns mounting over the impact the climbing temperatures could have on England’s prospects, coach Sven-Goran Erikson insists his side will not be preoccupied by the weather.” None of the pundits seem to have bothered to check how hot it gets in Ecuador. Obviously, pretty hot in places (the coast) seeing as its at the equator. But as every fule kno lots of Ecudaor is high up in the mountains. According to “this page”:http://www.climate-zone.com/climate/ecuador/fahrenheit/quito.htm (and also “Wikipedia”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quito) the climate in Quito is pleasant, with high temperatures getting up to a not-very-scorching average maximum of 70F/19C. So I imagine the Ecuadorean counterpart to Gary Lineker is also saying “Phew, what a scorcher!”



Thlayli 06.25.06 at 8:43 am

I’m already looking forward to the next World Cup, where we won’t have this endless whining about the heat…

Today’s high in Johannesburg: 18C


tom s. 06.25.06 at 9:25 am

We need a February world cup, in Glasgow slush.


jake 06.25.06 at 11:14 am

Hmmmmph. As I recall, in the first round there was a game that started an hour later than this one where the temp. at kickoff was shown as 93 degrees. Wouldn’t that count as hotter than 90 degrees at kickoff today–or is it because today’s a knockout round, that the HEAT IS ON???111???


Suresh 06.25.06 at 11:23 am

It’s worth mentioning that the English team and press whine about the conditions even when it comes to cricket. I’ve lost count to the number of test series in India that England lost (or did poorly in) because of food poisoning/heat/water/ whatever…

poor delicate English sportsmen…


Cryptic Ned 06.25.06 at 11:34 am

At least they aren’t blaming frogs. On the other hand, maybe all the frogs have been killed by the heat.


tom s. 06.25.06 at 11:57 am

I see a new verb has been coined at the Guardian minut-by-minute. “To lamp” is to boot way over the goal in a harmless manner.


Chris Bertram 06.25.06 at 12:10 pm

Christ, what a shit performance. I shall be watching Holland/Portugal v. England in Dublin, where I fully expect most of those present in whichever pub to derive more pleasure from the result than I will.


finnsense 06.25.06 at 12:15 pm

Heat does benefit skill-based teams more than teams like England. Look at the Argentinians and Spanish and they are so skilful on the ball they can stroke it around at a leasurely pace for a good while. England, by contrast, need at least four metres of space to control the ball and then panic and hoof it upfield.

It was a dreary depressing performance frankly but Equador were even worse – which is tragic for them.


representing queens new york 06.25.06 at 12:43 pm

“He lamped it” has been in use in UK/Ireland for a while, Tom.


Seth Edenbaum 06.25.06 at 1:10 pm

When I was a kid and someone shovelfooted the ball over the top, we just raised our hands straight in the air with the American Football refs. gesture denoting a successfull field goal.

We did this in silence of course.


Bondwoman 06.25.06 at 1:15 pm

well the second half was considerably better than the first. it was funny how the BBC struggled to find any “highlights” of the first half to reshow us. “sven, sven, sven, goran erikkson!”


Cryptic Ned 06.25.06 at 1:23 pm

When I was a kid and someone shovelfooted the ball over the top, we just raised our hands straight in the air with the American Football refs. gesture denoting a successfull field goal.

I remember for about 3 years after the 1994 World Cup us kids made fun of players who did that by calling them “Baggio”.

The World Cup is a big deal for soccer-playing US kids, but they are generally ignorant of any sort of professional soccer either in the US or abroad.


novakant 06.25.06 at 1:33 pm

only watched the last 15 minutes but one of the BBC commentators kept going on “ohhh let’s not make any mistakes now, please let’s see this through now, oohhh, still x minutes to go” –
oh come on, it’s Ecuador for god’s sakes, if they’re shivering in their boots against them, what’s gonna happen when they’re playing a real contender for the title


Aidan Maconachy 06.25.06 at 1:56 pm

England played okay all things considered.

It was very hot so that partly explains some of the lethargy and the bizarro lapses. The Ecuador defence almost handed a goal to Lampard who is in his fucking-it-up-mode right now. When he gets an opening in future he should PASS!

Rooney was getting the moves on – some lovely artistry in the penalty area. Shades of Maradonna even, the way he dribbles and works the defence.

The Beckham bender was a beauty. Fortunate for him because his play has been less than stellar. Even Posh appeared to be impressed.

Anyone know what the status is on Owen?


Rob G 06.25.06 at 2:28 pm

Owen – anterior cruciate ligament torn. Out for months. No great loss, England-wise. IMHO.

I think England are trying the “gormless prat imitation” (GPI) ruse to fool their next opponents. Unfortunately, this hasn’t worked very well in the past.

Fool that I am, I think they will wake up against Portugal or Holland.


Cryptic Ned 06.25.06 at 2:49 pm

Is “he lamped it” relating to Lampard, or is it a phrase that dates back decades? It’s a useful word.


foolishmortal 06.25.06 at 4:50 pm

It’s England v. Portugal reserves after a football match broke out during the UFC bout in Nuremburg.


tom s. 06.25.06 at 5:47 pm

Though my out-of-dateness exposed by “representing queens new york”, I still think that Lamping it deserves to have its origins rewritten after that game.


john h 06.26.06 at 4:09 am

“lamp” equivalent to the verbs “twat” or “leather” – meaning strike with gusto.

Usage not limited to football. “Lamp” is what bouncers in provincial UK towns do to lippy teenagers.


Seth Edenbaum 06.26.06 at 2:37 pm

“representing queens new york”.

So I can assume you were backing Ecuador… with the rest of us?


Ed. 06.28.06 at 11:10 pm

Excuses, all excuses, the English played a horrible game. “It was too hot” they said, that’s simply a cheap excuse for a professional player. Ecuador played a smart game and they could have won had Tenorio scored in the first half. Also, the free kick scored by David ‘the metrosexual’ didn’t really exist, it was a little gift from the referee. England did NOT deserve to win that game.

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