More on air travel to Canada

Would the best revenge be to use such people as opportunities to rehearse a talk?

The last time you wrote about how bad Canadian immigration is I, in an irritated mood, quickly wrote a sarcastic comment pointing out the obvious that American immigration hardly has a reputation for pleasant treatment of foreigners. But it was quickly deleted because we should be able to be critical of other countries without constantly being met by ‘your country isn’t any better’ comments.

But I can no longer resist sharing the following with you…

The last time I had the pleasure of basking in the professionalism of US customs the officer, while digitally recording my Swedish partner, bemoaned that he could not do the same to me because I am Canadian. The reason for his despondency was, and I quote, “Canadians are the worst [terrorist] offenders.” Ah yes the scourge of international Canadian terrorism, a factoid he surely learned through one of your fine American broadcasting corporations.

The officer’s tone and attitude made it obvious that he was attempting to entrap me into a rebuttal, a course of action that was observably enough to warrant an aggressive full body & cavity search. I was luckily able to keep my mouth shut. Although it would have normally been worth the price on ‘hand’ for the privilege and sweet satisfaction of testifying to this gentleman’s vast putziness, the officer, big surprise, was also an enormous fatty that had surely been issued extra large surgical gloves.

“But are you following my stories enough to understand that I’m not an American citizen?”

Obviously not, but I do think I am following them enough to get your intended point,

“that in some cases they are not that different from – or possibly even worse than – what one hears about American officers.”

So being asked why you are visiting the country (gosh!) is worse than being called a terrorist.

I do not see anything wrong with your latest encounter as you describe it but I am wondering about your expectations?

Here’s a true story about border controls that involves my father – economics professor specialized in game theory – attending an academic conference in Israel. Entering the country was basically uneventful, what was interesting occurred on the way out … A young, female Israeli soldier, holding a pretty intimidating machine gun, asked my father at the last check-out point in the airport what had he been doing during the one-week stay in her country. The following exchange ensued (not literally, but so you can get a reasonably accurate impression):

Answer (A): I attended an academic conference.

Question (B): And what was the conference about and how did you participate?

A: It was about economics and I presented my latest paper.

Q: And what was the paper about?

A: Game theory.

Q: Could you be more precise, please?

A: Well, game theory may be defined as the study of strategic situations where players choose different actions in an attempt to maximize their returns.

Q: Hmmmm. That doesn’t sound much like economics to me but, rather, something closer to politics. Could you please stand out of the line, please, I’ll have to interrogate you further in a separate room.

A: Wait, wait, sorry if what I said sounded confusing. I really am an academic, and I really didn’t come here to do any politics. You see, this thing, game theory, is a field of economic science that proves very useful when you have to adopt far-reaching decisions in the context of complex markets and organizations. For example, at a board of directors of a multinational company, with many members and several apparently contradictory interests on the table, it is possible to adopt more efficient decisions if you apply certain previously tested theorems. One of such theorems is the subject matter of the paper I presented this week here, in your beautiful country.

Q: Let me see that paper.

A: (Quickly shuffling through the briefcase) Here you go. See, the title clearly indicates it’s about economics and decision-making, and its full of strange mathematical formulas.

Q: Ok, ok, you convinced me. You may leave now. Have a pleasant trip, Sir.

“Don’t bother getting on my case about how this doesn’t sound combative.”

Say something silly (and I might add combative) and then ban your respondents from commenting on the silly part. Cool debate strategy!

Of course, with the official greeting signs announcing the ASA, anyone who was not an ASA-attendee could lie and say they were, so it seems reasonable that customs would interrogate people further to see who was a real attendee and who was not. But this can be done rudely or politely.

I have not been there, but I am told by flyers through Schiphol that immigration and departure questions are more intense than what most people experience in the US.

That said, I am suprised, even when re-entering the US as an American citizen, when I smile and say “hello” cheerfully (which takes me some effort after a long flight and standing in line) to an immigration officer, by how often I get an expressionless non-response.

Re: #7. I personally had a very similar experience. On leaving, the security person very cordially asked questions about my stay and then questions about the conference, about the subject, about my paper. Somebody was actually -interested- in my research! I was talking, and talking, and explaining, and talking, and I pulled out my paper and was showing him diagrams and explaining what it -really- meant and…, oh, of course I packed all my bags myself…, but people really missed the importance of my paper and… oh, yes, they’ve never been out of my sight since I packed… well they were in the trunk of the taxi but… well, there’s still more interesting slides I could show you and… oh, OK, yes. yes. Of course yes…yes…thanks. Thanks so much. And -you- have a good day too.

Eszter:

Someone7 – Israeli border control guards are extremely well trained in interrogating people. Isn’t El Al the safest airline?

(Sorry I didn’t answer before, but I haven’t been close to my computer the last 48h)About El Al I really wouldn’t know out of personal experience because I haven’t flown that airline. My father has and, to his recollection, everything went very well. About the qualifications of the border control guards, and specifically the one that interrogated my father, I would say that her questioning whether my father’s work was really more politics than economics proves that she indeed was well trained. I mean, game theory is a rather dense discipline with some obvious parallels with, for example, the process of analysis and decision making in diplomacy. Now that I remember, another one of my father’s papers was mentioned in the online version of Nature, under a title that was something like “Machiavellian tactics modelled” . . .