Dying to pass this on

And of course, here in America, there is the regional(?) variant: “he passed,” without the on. Curious, eh?

Swedish media nearly always use the expression “gÃ¥tt ur tiden” (literally “has gone out of time”, roughly “has left temporal life”) when somebody dies. Given the atheistic nature of Swedish society this is a very strange usage, even if it is very poetic.

Danes just die. Or rather, we have the expression “afgÃ¥et ved døden” (roughly “resigned through death”) which is occasionally used by media. But death is always mentioned as such.

I tend to think of just plain “passed” as older and more rural, while “passed away” says suburban. I don’t really think I’ve heard “passed on” all that often.

Then of course there’s the art of the over-the-top euphemism. (Norwegian blues stun easily, you know.)

Bring on the language police.

“the use of this term in Ireland is a purely aspirational adoption of others’ sensitivities.”

Evil aspirations at work…

I used to think of “passed” (without “away” or “on”) as African-American usage, but over the years it seems to have become more common among whites.

I don’t usually either, but also bought The Independent last week because of some ‘improve your English’ writers’ guide offer. Ironically they were quite critical of such cliches…

And, fwiw, I’d say ‘passed away’. Maybe that’s more secular, as they’ve clearly left here – I don’t know if they’ve gone on anywhere.

North Americans don’t normally say “restroom” for a public toilet. They say something much more ridiculous: “bathroom”. As in, “Does this bus have a bathroom?” Or “She had to go to the bathroom on the plane.” I suppose King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia may have a bathroom on his plane.

“The preference in speech has generally been for the more brutal ‘he/she died’”

I’ve noticed the usage on CT seems to be, “‘so and so’ is dead”. To me, from the US, it does seem jarring. I’ve thought that it must not sound as harsh to non-American ears. For some reason, “‘so and so’ has died” sounds slightly softer.

“Gathered to his fathers” is awesome. We need to incorporate more Hebraisms into everyday life — for instance, using “feet” as a euphemism for “genitals,” or randomly appending “Thus sayeth the Lord” to the end of our statements.

I agree with #9, though I think the use of just “passed” is far more common among whites in the south than among whites in any other part of the country. Personally, “passed away” has always been the phrase I’ve expected from those too delicate to say “Mr. X died.” It was certainly the usage my mother’s Old Country Polish relatives preferred, anyway.

I’m used to hearing “has died”. There’s the occassional whimsy of “has shuffled off” and I once heard “has at last taken the popular advice”.

Now, I understand that Americans prefer to say someone passed on than to say ‘they died’. Just as they prefer to say someone went to ‘the rest room’ than to the toilet. I expect that in a multicultural society that has nonetheless a quite puritanical aversion to the acknowledgement of bodily functions…

Because no post on language use in Ireland would be complete without an (inaccurate) dig at American culture and language.

But wouldn’t “passed on” be just the sort of euphemism one would have expected of the “lace curtain” Irish? And with respect to liberalized attitudes toward sex and the body & etc — remind us, when was it again that Ireland legalized contraception? Divorce? Abortion?

Sheesh. Even in trivial matters, the anti-Americanism does get a little old.

BTW — in todays’s local paper here (in the U.S.), there are 11 obits (about half local and half national or international). There are nine uses of “died”, one of “passed away”, and one where the person’s name and age are given and you have to make the obvious assumption.

Roy Belmont (#20), I’ve never heard the “little work” folk etymology. “Toilet” actually has nothing to do with “toil”. It comes from the French for “cloth”, referring to something you put over your shoulders while shaving or applying makeup or otherwise “making your toilette”.

Slocum (#23), are those actually obituaries (newspaper articles) or death notices (paid ads, written by the relatives)? I’d be surprised to see a newspaper use “passed away”, but strange things do happen in small local papers.

Once again, one sees incorrect widespread generalizations about language usage on the basis of anecdotal and regional experience. You’d think people would learn.

I’d also disagree with Mijnheer’s “North Americans don’t normally say ‘restroom’ for a public toilet.” In my experience “restroom” is at least as common as “bathroom” in speech, and signs will say “restroom” if they use a word at all.

Hm…I can’t help but wonder what the Irish use for the American term PMSing.

I have always liked “pushing up daisies”.

In high school, a french teacher told me that the equivalent locution in french was “eating dandelions from the roots up”.

Ever since, American though I am, I have never been able to to truly hate the french.

‘toilet’ is a euphemism too, isn’t it? I doubt there’s a single excretion-related fixture that isn’t most commonly referred to with a pretty French word–toilet, commode, bidet, latrine (the latter proving that even the American military can’t do without a nice word for what I guess y’all call the loo).

aaron_m:
“How do I express my deepest sympathies and heartfelt condolences to the grieving family members of the departed in their time of sorrow? ‘

“I want to express to them my sincere and heartfelt condolences and total sympathy for them in their most difficult time. I want to offer my devoted support and let them know that they should find courage and strength in the knowledge that their friends’ thoughts and best wishes are with them as they try to bear this irreparable loss.

“But all I can manage to say is ‘Sorry to that Jimmy is dead.’”

What you managed to say expressed what you say you wanted to express, in my view. My mother died a month ago, and that’s pretty much how I’ve understood the various expressions of condolences and sympathy, whatever the particular formulation. I think the bereaved, as general rule, apply a particularly robust interpretive charity in their construction of such expressions.

A couple of years ago I had the occasion to tour Highgate Cemetery, and, yes the high point was the tomb of Marx. Quite a few of the Victorian habitants of this unsanctified ground were said to have gone to sleep.

It’s been a long time since I read The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh, but (iirc) he’s making fun of a lot of beautifully tasteless American euphemisms there.

“popped his clogs” is nice for “died”

In the US, “toilet” can only refer to the item of furniture(?) in the bath/rest/washroom (“washroom” is I believe a Canadian and central/western usage). In European and Australian English, I’m pretty sure that “toilet” can refer to the room as well. It just sounds more shocking to us to talk about the toilet, just as I imagine it sounds more shocking to the Brits when we talk about our pants.

kcindc #25-
Entangled in my own snare I was, there, surely, and but yet – “toil” itself does come from the cloth of the huntsman’s net, I think, so there’s a cousinish link between them, and the overall point, that people go in there into those rooms to do far more than merely poop and pee, remains.
The hypocrisy and the simpering euphemizing – the “f” word! – the giggles and sniggers of the ignorant at the use of plain and more accurate anglo-saxonisms – all that comes from childhood learning, the taboos and punishments for violation, the Pavlovian “dirtiness” of the organs involved passed on as vitally important from one over-corrected generation to another – though a concerted effort toward breaking away from that, begun en masse in the so-called “60’s”, has given us a somewhat clearer perspective.
That and the near-sterilized environments that now surround our waste disposal systems, both personal and communal. The near-religious purity of the porcelain in most bathrooms making the “dirtiness” seem almost an abstract thing.
Most vestigial prejudice has some accuracy in its cause, if not in its remnant.
As far as clinical terms, stripped of euphemism, well, as lovers often nickname their favorite body parts, scientific accuracy being not paramount in their exchanges, this seems forgivable.
The totality of loss, in the death of someone close and dear, making the flat and simple term, “he died”, while honest and accurate as far as it goes for the disinterested observer, not necessarily most apt when spoken to the bereaved.