School of Rock

by Brian on February 5, 2004

And now for something completely different, The Guardian on what six to eight year olds think of classic rock. Here are some sample responses, but the whole thing is very amusing.

Smells Like Teen Spirit

It’s making me think about doing bad things like putting snowballs down my sister’s back.

Anarchy in the U.K.

He sounds like the baddie in Scooby Doo at the end.



Rv. Agnos 02.05.04 at 5:22 pm

Tears are literally running down my face from laughing.

“Cream: Sunshine Of Your Love (1967)

What the grown-ups say: “The big hook of Sunshine Of Your Love is a grinding, instantly memorable hard-rock riff, stuttering between two notes before hellishly descending for a few more, then rising in an upward squiggle.” (

What the kids say:

Gabrielle: Argh! Vampires!

Beth: Ooh, I think this is by my dad.”


John 02.05.04 at 5:31 pm

Once again proving that kids are stupid and uncool. Weird that they liked “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” though.


Jeremy Pierce 02.05.04 at 5:40 pm

What I think is weird is that anyone might think of Nirvana as classic rock.


harry 02.05.04 at 5:41 pm

Why didn’t they play ‘Eating Rifles’ by the Jam


William 02.05.04 at 6:42 pm

Now is probably a good time to remind people of this — children interpret Radiohead through the medium of drawing people hanging themselves.

Twenty trillion out of a septillion!


ethan 02.05.04 at 7:25 pm


Sarah, a Brooklyn schoolteacher, did it first.

And better.

Click here.

For example:

“soma”, the strokes

frances: could you turn this off?

sarah: you don’t like it?

frances: no.

sarah: a lot of people think this is a great new band.

frances: who thinks that?

sarah: i don’t know. music people.

frances: i think it sounds bad. it hurts my head like a hundred dogs.


Another Damned Medievalist 02.05.04 at 7:32 pm

Me, I loved Sophie’s analysis of Dylan’s voice:

He sounds like he’s just smelled something really bad, like cat poo.

I like Dylan, but she’s right!


MQ 02.05.04 at 8:00 pm

What the hell is “Busted”? Whatever it is, it appears to be better than almost all classic rock, so maybe I should look into it.


rosalind 02.05.04 at 8:48 pm

Not only is Sophie right about Dylan, but Holly’s take on The Who’s “Substitute” is freakin’ poetry: “It sounds like when your wee goes back up.” Awesome.


Keven Lofty 02.05.04 at 9:11 pm

> Sorry.
> Sarah, a Brooklyn schoolteacher, did it first.
> And better

Didn’t VH1 do a whole show like this about 5 years ago?


spacetoast 02.08.04 at 8:48 pm

Eh, these kids commenting on classic video games are sharper and funnier…,4364,1487038,00.asp

“Niko: Hey—Pong. My parents played this game.

Brian: It takes this whole console just to do Pong?

Kirk: What is this? [Picks up and twists the paddle controller] Am I controlling the volume?

John: I’m just going to do this [twists the paddle controller as rapidly as possible].

Tim: John, don’t do that. You’ll die.

Andrew: This is a lot like that game. Um, whatchamacallit—air hockey.

Sheldon: Except worse.

Andrew: Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip.

Becky: I don’t even see the point of having sound on this.

Andrew: Wow. The score is tied. It’s so exhilarating.

Brian: I saw a documentary on this. The game was so popular in arcades that it got jammed up with quarters.

John: In this thing? [Points to the Pong game console]

Tim: I would never pay to play something like this.

John: I’d sooner jump up and down on one foot. By the way, is this supposed to be tennis or Ping-Pong?

Becky: Ping-Pong.

Gordon: It doesn’t even go over the net. It goes through it. I don’t even think that thing in the middle is a net.

Tim: My line is so beating the heck out of your stupid line. Fear my pink line. You have no chance. I am the undisputed lord of virtual tennis. [Misses ball] Whoops.”

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