How the Plain People of Ireland Brought the Tragedy of the Commons to a Happy End

by John Holbo on May 6, 2004

Or maybe weaseled out of military duty. Naw, that’d be puissant quit-scutage majeur. So I think the following definitely supports John’s point. Maybe.

Never forget that tenure by sochemaunce seisined by feodo copyholds in gross and reseisined through covenants of foeffseignory in frankalpuissance –

The Plain People of Ireland: That sounds like dirty water being squirted out of a hole in a burst rubber ball.

– is alienable only by droit of bonfeasaunce subsisting in free-bench coigny or in re-vested copywrits of seisina faci stipidem, a fair copy bearing a 2d. stamp to be entered at the Court of Star Chamber.

Furthermore, a rent seck indentured with such frankalseignory or chartmoign charges as may be, and re-empted in Mart Overt, subsists thereafter in graund serjaunty du roi, eighteen fishing smacks being deemed sufficient to transport the stuff from Lisbon.

The Plain People of Ireland: Where do the fishing smacks come in?

Myself: Howth, usually.

The Plain People of Ireland: No, but what have they got to do with what you were saying?

Myself: It’s all right. I was only trying to find out whether ye were still reading on. By the way, I came across something very funny the other night in a public house.

The Plain People of Ireland (chuckling)
: What was it?

Myself: It was a notice on the wall. It read: ‘We have come to an arrangement with our bankers. They have agreed not to sell drinks. We, on our part, have agreed not to cash cheques.’

The Plain People of Ireland: O, Ha Ha Ha! Ho Ho Ho! (Sounds of thousands of thighs being slapped in paroxysms of mirth.)

Myself: Good. I knew that would amuse you.1

1 Myles na Gopaleen (Flann O’Brien), The Best of Myles

Devises charged with consolidated quodwrits of quitbar or seigny-poke subsist thereafter in fee of grossplaysaunce, notwithstanding all copyholds of mesnemanor, socagemoign, interfee, mortlease, grand bastardy in copygross, subescheats of scutage, quousque, refeoffed disseisor of sub-seisin and a pony in seignyfrankalpuis and vivmain of copycharged serjaunty.

{ 10 comments }

1

Vance Maverick 05.06.04 at 5:52 pm

I suppose the pony came in via Howth as well.

2

Zizka 05.06.04 at 8:26 pm

No bicycle? I have trouble believeing that particular pancake.

3

Another Damned Medievalist 05.06.04 at 8:30 pm

I knew there was a good reason to read documents in Latin! Thanks to my thesis advisor for turning me away from the Anglo-Norman world.

4

DJW 05.06.04 at 9:36 pm

Just the other day, I was defending your SDB post against charges of obscurantism and inaccessibility. And now this….

5

Thersites 05.07.04 at 5:33 am

I heard a queer wan happened to the brother. Is this your bus?

6

Matt McIrvin 05.07.04 at 1:32 pm

Does this analysis shed any light on why do I am alook alike a poss of porterpease?

7

Eimear Ní Mhéalóid 05.07.04 at 3:13 pm

It looks as if this means peine forte et dure for the cestui que use on account of his laches in mitter le estate resulting in its being only pur autre vie rather than mortmain or even fee tail. I predict loy mesme will be immediatement hange, desrenable though it be, unless he cry jeofaile.

But seriously, this is why the plain people of Ireland have historically relied on the lease for lives renewable for ever, which gave them the vote as well.

8

Jimmy Doyle 05.07.04 at 6:29 pm

It’s all about enough to make you turn toward the man walking beside you, give a low moan, and cover him from shoulder to knee in a light coating of buff-coloured puke.

9

latinist 05.08.04 at 4:11 am

All right, I’ll bite; where did THAT come from? I heard the Isle of Man had some interesting legal traditions hanging around from about a thousand years ago…I only know Roman and Italian statute law.

10

jholbo 05.08.04 at 8:01 am

If latinist’s question is where the bit below the fold came from, it’s from Myles again. I’m sure it’s completely made up. I would have given it another footnote but I modified it from the original (as I trust everyone read carefully enough to note.) But I should have cited it as not my own nonsense.

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