Botuli gratia botulorum

by Henry on July 30, 2005

From the back of a packet of “Hans All-Natural Chicken and Apple Sausages”:http://hansallnatural.com/dir/products/itempage.aspx?ItemID=34, I discover the artistic urge that led to the creation of these distinguished offal tubes.

bq. While touring alluring ocean fronts and majestic alpine passages, an epiphany occurred to Hans: create organic sausages as natural as the glistening of the snow and as genuine as the sunset’s glow.

Not quite up there with the “European bake shop”:http://www.kieranhealy.org/blog/archives/000159.html, but a noble ambition nonetheless.

{ 11 comments }

1

TCO 07.30.05 at 1:31 pm

What do y’all lefty social scientists think of Jenkins and THE BELL CURVE. Good science, pushing the boundaries of comfort…or disguised racism that is not validated by the data? Any discussion here on site?

2

sharon 07.30.05 at 2:28 pm

Now that should have been entered for the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, surely.

3

des von bladet 07.30.05 at 3:14 pm

Oh that alluring ocean frontage! Oh those glistening passages! Oh the offal, offal punnage!

It is, nonetheless, a fact that I am never more Yoorpean than in the matter of sossage. The meaty sossage of Toulouse! The Currywurst of Berlin! The chorizo hotdog (me’ senap, tack!) of Stockholm! The startlingly pink pølse of Danmark! I embrace them all! (Although not, of course, literally.)

4

Jake 07.30.05 at 3:16 pm

I think the only thing that comment #1 has in common with Henry’s posting is the reference to offal.

5

tvd 07.30.05 at 6:48 pm

Perhaps he meant to compare the writing of The Bell Curve to making sausage.

6

Jeremy Osner 07.30.05 at 7:57 pm

One thing offal has in common with snow is that it glistens.

7

Jeremy Osner 07.30.05 at 9:16 pm

But glow, not so much. (Well depending I suppose on the level of radioactivity in the chicken feed.)

8

bad Jim 07.31.05 at 3:48 am

While touring alluring
oceans in motion
reaching beaches
dappled with apples
and continuing viewing
the mountainous countenance
of blocks of rocks
quickened with chickens
Hans realized that this was the Wurst.

(Oh, well, this year’s Bulwer-Lytton entries were disappointing, too.)

9

Henry 07.31.05 at 12:04 pm

Bad Jim – ouch!

now if we could only tempt John M. Ford etc over from “Making Light,” we could have an interesting little Vogon poetry competition.

10

smuttynose 07.31.05 at 4:53 pm

Bell Curve author/idiot had his own data showing the superiority of asians in math/science but failed (as a loyal white boy?) to conclude that asains were superior to whites in these areas. why then did he conclude based the same sort of data that blacks are inferior to whites academically? hypocrisy, self-loathing? i con’t care why, its just intelectually dishonest. how ’bout you, tco, care to discuss? or do you just throw bombs?

11

bad Jim 08.01.05 at 1:41 am

What were once vices are now verses.

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