by Belle Waring on March 7, 2006

Then again, given Chertoff’s overall record, maybe they did place the nation’s security first and foremost:

“I wouldn’t feel safe nowhere on this compound as an officer,” former guard Derrick Daniels told The Associated Press. Daniels was employed until last fall by Wackenhut Services Inc., the private firm that protects a Homeland Security complex that includes sensitive, classified information.

An envelope with suspicious powder was opened last fall at the headquarters. Daniels and other current and former guards said they were shocked when superiors carried it past the office of Secretary Michael Chertoff, took it outside and then shook it outside Chertoff’s window without evacuating people nearby.

I know life is meant to imitate art and all, but is it supposed to imitate Benny Hill episodes? I can just imagine the guards running around in fast-motion, shaking clouds of powder out just below a hacking Chertoff’s window. And if a somewhat zaftig, topless woman in a nurse’s uniform could be worked into an ensuing chase scene, then so much the better.



abb1 03.07.06 at 7:20 am

Zei gezunt, motherfuckers.


nnyhav 03.07.06 at 7:48 am

This is not a pipe.


Gene O'Grady 03.07.06 at 12:14 pm

I worked for the US Post Office for a year (June 2004 – June 2005) and it’s unimaginable to me that anyone who’d been there for two hours wouldn’t have had real training on not doing what is described above. ‘Course we were all Federal employees, not contractors.


roger 03.07.06 at 1:03 pm

That’s the funniest news item I’ve seen since Bush’s press conference in Pakistan, in which he said he was on a “mission” in Pakistan — the man can’t stay away from that word mission.

Wackenhut is, by the way, a favorite company in the State of Texas — they basically own the world’s fourth largest penitentiary system. Hey, in Texas, it is a multiplier — the state takes in other state’s prisoners, and creams a profit off the top. It’s the free enterprise way — from the slave trade to the prison trade. American capitalism at its finest.


"Q" the Enchanter 03.07.06 at 1:28 pm

I think you overestimate Benny Hill’s penchant for the absurd; he could never have come up with something like this.


Oskar Shapley 03.07.06 at 4:40 pm

Did you just say “Benny Hill episodes’?

I want to see how Bush smacks Chertov on his bald head. LIKE THIS.


cm 03.08.06 at 2:27 am

nnyhav (#2): I’m not familiar with the law, but this looks like the guy should sue the city or whichever entity runs the police in question for reckless and willful property destruction, harassment, possibly defamation (if applicable), and resulting damages.

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