Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle papadum

by John Holbo on March 21, 2006

Fellow Timberteer Maria is visiting Singapore on her way to some important meeting. She and Belle ran off to Little India today. I had to work. It is left to me to memorialize their shopping trip, based on its products. What can I say?


My work is done. You, our readers, shall now compose the screenplay/libretto of a Bollywood musical, based on Donnie Darko. (Click for larger image.) Since I am an incorrigible Amazon whore I cannot refrain from noting that the director’s cut is marked down 50%. If you don’t go for that, this Hank Thompson collection is only $4.97. (You’re saving $1.01!!) For some reason, when I was a kid, I had a record with “Whoa Sailor” on it. I played it over and over but turned out straight. The man who is tired of Donnie Darko and Hank Thompson is tired of life. (Don’t miss the slideshow.)



almostinfamous 03.21.06 at 9:21 am

JH, the guy who wrote donnie darko probably got his inspiration from that bunny after he ate one of their pepper-laced papads and spent the night trying to put out the fire in his mouth.
the weak plain ones you display taste gritty if you microwave them. with the pepper ones, you are too distracted by the spiciness burning away your tongue to notice if they are gritty or not.


Daniel 03.21.06 at 10:13 am

that’s a condom, right?


Richard Bellamy 03.21.06 at 10:25 am

You know, it’s kind of funny.
You know, it’s kind of sad . . .


Jimmy Doyle 03.21.06 at 10:34 am

The director’s cut of Donnie Darko is inferior to the theatrical release in at least one important respect: the music to the brilliant opening credits in the original version is Echo and the Bunnymen’s excellent The Killing Moon; in the director’s cut it’s some appalling crap by INXS.


des von bladet 03.21.06 at 10:37 am

JH: Which intellect is cool and unsympathetic, Belle’s, Maria’s, or yours?

Jimmy Doyle: The director’s cut is also vastly superior in one important respect: it was given away as a freebie on some random UK weekendbladet.


Dave M 03.21.06 at 12:44 pm

Thank you Jimmy for that invaluable information. I doubt that a Bollywood musical is necessary in this case as I remember the soundtrack as perfectly good already. BTW the same composer, whose name I forget, also provided some nice moments for last year’s Me and You and Everyone We Know.


theophylact 03.21.06 at 1:09 pm

These are fine papads and I laugh every time I take the package out of the bread box…


theophylact 03.21.06 at 1:11 pm

Incidentally, a toaster oven works better than the microwave. But you have to watch the papads like a hawk; they go from not-quite-done to char in a trice.


Stuart 03.21.06 at 2:41 pm

Note the instruction: to be fried or roasted before consumption.

Fried like Cheech & Chong, or perhaps roasted by the Friars?


Scott Eric Kaufman 03.21.06 at 4:16 pm

More to the point, the Director’s Cut explains what’s better left unexplained. “Mystery? Who wants mystery when we have so much pseudoscience sitting on the shelf just begging for some screen time?”


saurabh 03.21.06 at 5:09 pm

Ah, the Bollywood version of Donnie Darko. Starring Govinda as an implausibly aged Donnie. Opens with scene of plucky Donnie fighting off some bullies who are tormenting his soon-to-be love-interest. Cut to montage of them dancing and singing and making googly-eyes. Introduce Donnie’s cute and loveable teenaged sister with – why not? – another song, also featuring Donnie’s venerable patriarch. Too bad Amrish Puri is dead.


Film concludes with Donnie time-traveling back to prevent the evil schoolteacher from raping his sister with a no-holds barred fistfight.


Belle Waring 03.22.06 at 12:10 am

microwave? toaster? what happened to the good old-fashioned dry griddle on the stove top? crazy lah you.


John Holbo 03.22.06 at 1:23 am

Does the director’s cut version also have the original version included on the disc?


maria 03.22.06 at 8:40 pm

I think it goes nice with the especially weird Belgian (weird Belgian, an oxymoron?) Donnie Darko chocolate Easter Bunny that’s probably still lurking in your fridge.

As for our shopping trip, I am particularly pleased with the Chinese costume wine bottle dress thingie in Tipperary blue and yellow.

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