The Elementary Structures of Kinship

by Kieran Healy on May 19, 2007

Seeing as the kids are on the front page, indulge me a bit. My wife had a baby boy early yesterday morning (hurray!) and this morning I brought our three-year-old daughter up to see the new arrival. She has in principle been getting used to the idea of being a big sister for a while, and was excited to meet him. As we’re walking in she says, “What is that thing on your wrist, Daddy?” “It’s so that people here know that I’m your little brother’s daddy,” I said. She stopped walking and looked up at me. “But … but you’re my daddy,” she said.

Onward to sibling rivalry, I suppose.

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05.19.07 at 10:19 pm

{ 42 comments }

1

dsquared 05.19.07 at 12:50 am

hurrrrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

2

Laura 05.19.07 at 1:12 am

Congrats!

3

SomeCallMeTim 05.19.07 at 1:45 am

Congratulations.

4

vivian 05.19.07 at 1:56 am

Wow, great news Kieran!

5

Jacob Christensen 05.19.07 at 1:57 am

It’s one of the stranger aspects of the blogosphere that you find yourself congratulating a person you’ve never met with having a baby – oh, never mind: Three cheers and the long hooray (that’s the Danish greeting, the Swedes give four cheers and a long hooray, in case you wonder).

And now on to the subject – Maybe it’s about time that you start explaining the real facts of life to your daughter:

Fatherness is a non-exclusive and non-exhaustive good and as such a public – or at least a family – good.

6

dsquared 05.19.07 at 2:10 am

I suppose Mrs Healy deserves some share of the credit for this too.

7

Kieran Healy 05.19.07 at 3:25 am

Actually my mother does kind of feel that way …

8

Rod 05.19.07 at 4:00 am

Quite normal for a child of that age not to understand relations between other people. They are complete little egoists.

9

Eszter 05.19.07 at 5:00 am

So cute! Congrats!! Will you/he/they be coming to the ASA meetings?

10

ingrid 05.19.07 at 6:21 am

Congratulations! This is beautiful news.

11

bad Jim 05.19.07 at 8:49 am

Yay!

I’ve long been told that whenever my mother had another baby, her father would, whenever he visited, first greet and play with the kids who already knew his face, so that, having already been gratified by his attention, we wouldn’t be jealous when he checked up on his daughter’s latest.

12

Scott McLemee 05.19.07 at 11:19 am

Huzzah! Great story too.

13

jb 05.19.07 at 12:22 pm

Congratulations to you and Lori! (and your Mother).

14

Belle Waring 05.19.07 at 12:33 pm

congratulations!

15

Barry 05.19.07 at 12:46 pm

Congratulations!

16

Tina 05.19.07 at 1:49 pm

That is awesome! Congratulations to the whole family!

17

Crystal 05.19.07 at 2:13 pm

Congratulations!

18

Wax Banks 05.19.07 at 2:14 pm

Congratulations to you and your family, Kieran!

19

chris y 05.19.07 at 2:52 pm

Congratulations to all.

20

nolo 05.19.07 at 3:32 pm

Congratulations!!! And great story.

21

Dmitri Petrov 05.19.07 at 3:55 pm

Kieran–

Congratulations to you and Laurie!Dmitri

22

John Quiggin 05.19.07 at 9:23 pm

Congratulations to you and Laurie!

On sibling rivalry, the best thing I ever read was Penelope Leach

Imagine how you’d feel, for instance, if your husband came home one day and cheerfully announced the news of a second wife to you: “I’m bringing home a new wife soon, darling, because I thought it’d be nice for you to have some company. By the way, I’ll need you to be a ‘big girl’ and help me take care of my young bride.

BTW, does the new arrival have a name yet?

23

notsneaky 05.19.07 at 11:41 pm

congratulations

24

harry b 05.20.07 at 12:29 am

Brilliant, congratulations (belatedly) to all of you.

25

dominic murphy 05.20.07 at 3:16 am

hearty congratulations to all of you

26

LizardBreath 05.20.07 at 5:26 pm

Woohoo! Yay, babies! And I’m sure your oldest will get over any understandable pique shortly.

27

Colin Danby 05.20.07 at 10:20 pm

Congratulations! Pictures?

28

Bob Mutch 05.20.07 at 10:59 pm

Congratulations from another stranger!

29

thag 05.20.07 at 11:23 pm

what’s its name, ya silly pillock?

and congratulations to Laurie.

30

The Constructivist 05.21.07 at 2:00 am

Congrats, and count yourself lucky you got a boy this time–only knowing bro-bro sibling rivalries myself, I’m learning all about new levels of jealousy with two girls, 1 and 3. It’s not that they don’t like each other–it’s just that the smallest thing can set one of them off. I’m going to try to channel it into sports like my parents did and see what happens. Anyone got better ideas?

31

The Constructivist 05.21.07 at 2:04 am

In all seriousness, she may have been thinking of you as her slave. Quite rational for a toddler to think so, don’t you think?

32

Helen 05.21.07 at 3:27 am

Congratulations!

I’ve long been told that whenever my mother had another baby, her father would, whenever he visited, first greet and play with the kids who already knew his face, so that, having already been gratified by his attention, we wouldn’t be jealous when he checked up on his daughter’s latest.

Ah, must be a dog person. That’s what you do when introducing Old Dog to New Dog / new puppy.

And John, I also have never forgotten that Penelope Leach quotation. It’s spot on, I think.

33

The Constructivist 05.21.07 at 3:31 am

I’ve always held that kids say the darndest things, myself.

34

The Constructivist 05.21.07 at 4:13 am

And yet we indoctrinate, indoctrinate, indoctrinate, and look what it gets us: little consumerist Randroids! But as d points out, most of ’em eventually grow out of it.

35

Dilip D'Souza 05.21.07 at 4:29 am

What a charming anecdote! Reminded me of another.

Oh, and all good wishes! May they be happy, cheery, rumble-tumble sibling rivals.

36

William Sjostrom 05.21.07 at 7:49 am

Congratulations to you and your wife.

37

Russell Arben Fox 05.21.07 at 12:10 pm

Congrats and best wishes to the Healy family! We kept trying for the big sister-little brother thing, but it never happened for us.

38

Matt Weiner 05.21.07 at 4:25 pm

Congratulations to you and Laurie, and best of luck to Aoife!

39

Jonathan Dresner 05.22.07 at 6:56 am

Mazel Tov!

40

mollymooly 05.22.07 at 7:08 am

Comhgháirdeachas libh!

41

Kenny Easwaran 05.22.07 at 6:56 pm

Congratulations!

42

bitchphd 05.23.07 at 12:49 am

Aww, congratulations!

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