I have little interest in cricket, but — like snooker — it is enjoyable to watch because of its psychological element: you get to see grown men crushed psychologically without any violation of the Geneva Conventions. Though at the moment Australia are pushing it pretty close to a Human Rights Violation with England. Shane Warne got 71, this from the second-to-last man in the batting lineup. In the process he said to Paul Collingwood, “You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval?” And now England are in. Over to Tom Fordyce and the BBC online commentary:
*1433: Eng 0-0* Right England – let’s see what you can do after that onslaught. …
*1439: Eng 4-0* McGrath opens the Aussie bowling for the last ever time in a Test. Writing those words has provided me with a small crumb of comfort. He beats Cook twice outside off, but the Essex tyro then cuts him tastily for four.
*1439: WICKET – Cook ct Gilchrist b Lee 4, Eng 4-1.* Oh no…
Chin up, Tom. It’ll all be over soon.
{ 11 comments }
John Quiggin 01.03.07 at 11:24 pm
This is merely restoring the balance of the universe after the disgrace of losing the Ashes last time.
Restoring them to their natural home is not enough: only five crushing victories in succession will suffice.
Jason 01.03.07 at 11:50 pm
pfft. You should read the Guardian OBO – the BBC is only good for listening to Blowers talk about confused birds and all the pies he had for lunch. These are people with the right priorities:
Sickening news from Sean Boiling “(AP) LOS ANGELES “The O.C.,” the once-hot teenage soap opera, has been canceled. Fox TV and Warner Brothers Television Production says the final episode of the drama will air Thursday, February 22nd. Series creator Josh Schwartz says the finale ‘will deliver real closure to the series’.” Sickeners come no more definitive than this. Sod Warne and McGrath; we’ve got an even more emotional farewell to say now. Send your tributes to the usual address and, if I can see through the tears, I’ll publish them.
P O'Neill 01.04.07 at 12:02 am
Is anyone in Australia taking it badly that Shane’s preferred retirement home is in … England?
gilmae 01.04.07 at 12:20 am
He always did seem to take a liking to less attractive or less cluey women; seems the natural location for him, neh?
Dan 01.04.07 at 1:46 am
No — off the field, you can have him.
dr ngo 01.04.07 at 2:06 am
Actually, Warnie came in at number 8 (not 9 or 10, as implied above), but still, 71 off just 65 balls is pretty damn impressive. Mind you, he always could swing a pretty hefty bat; they used to move him up in the order in one-day matches when they needed a quick slog.
For those who wonder why an American rejoices so in this outcome, I refer you to the classic Anyone But England: An Outsider Looks at English Cricket by Mike Marqusee.
Chris Bertram 01.04.07 at 2:55 am
I was told when I woke up (about 10 mins ago) that England were 12 for 5 in the second innings. I see that they actually have _a lead of 12_ after the loss of 5 wickets, which isn’t quite as bad …..
Ian Whitchurch 01.04.07 at 4:41 am
For Americans
You remember Barry Sanders, the man who could head fake a mirror ?
Now, take that talent, add the personality of T. Owens and a habit of getting caught up in sex-, drugs- and gambling scandals and you have Shane Warne.
Oh yeah, and he’s been matched with Glenn McGrath for about the last ten years. Glen is almost completely and exactly like Jerry Rice. He isnt fast, he isnt big, he’s quiet, no nonsense, and exactly where he needs to be, every game, every play. You can try to stop him, but if you are an eight of a sixteenth of an inch off your game, he will make you pay.
nick s 01.04.07 at 8:54 am
There’s something morbidly satisfying about the way in which the Aussies, stung by losing the Ashes, decided that nicking them back wasn’t good enough, and instead wanted to thump the Poms something rotten.
It’s exposed the weaknesses in the England side in the way that a beach exposes the weaknesses in a whale’s physical makeup. They can’t take wickets or stop the other team from scoring runs at a Twenty20 rate; they can’t bat for an extended period of time, and the tail starts at number 6; they can’t execute basic run-outs, and the captain can’t set a field.
Anyway, Warne was in great form today, whinging to the umpires about the sledging he received after refusing to walk. Still, given his predilections, by 2026 there should be a fine crop of dodgy-haired young wrist-spinners in Hampshire.
But the player of the series, for me, has been Stuart Clark, for demonstrating that it’s possible to bowl a good length on off stump all the bloody time.
Bruce Western 01.04.07 at 11:22 am
My hometown paper, the Courier Mail, scoops the BBC with two key quotes from the third day.
From Warne: “I was falling asleep as I normally do so I thought I would try a few Red Bulls so I was buzzing when I went out there.”
From Collingwood: “Did you get stuck into all the pies and soft drinks over Christmas Shane?”
derrida derider 01.05.07 at 5:00 am
I too love cricket for its mental, not physical, aspect – there is something in the old upper-class view that the game “builds character”. Though I’m not sure that you’d want to build Warney’s character :-)
As an Irishman I presume you’ll be delighted to see the English get their comeuppance. As an Aussie, I see it as partial compensation for Breaker Morant, Gallipoli, Pozieres, bodyline, the fall of Singapore and the gormless Windsors.
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