An under-appreciated genre, from the golden age of Irish television before the arrival of foreign channels in the early to mid 1980s. I was trying to remember these today because they came up in conversation for no very good reason. I’m sure I can’t have remembered them all. Help me out.
1. _The Safe Cross Code_, with Judge.
Obviously the most famous one. All Irish people between the ages of about twenty and forty can sing this. If I remember, there are long and short versions. The long version includes the mythical Safe Cross Code wardens in their white plastic macs, and Judge saying “Unless you live next door to the school, you’ll have to cross the road sometime.” I believe it opens with Mr Crow complaining about Foxy’s abysmal efforts to sing the song.
2. _So You’re Off To School On Your Bike_, narrated by Mike Murphy.
More safety advice for children, this time without the comforting presence of Judge. “No signals, nobody looked, all on the wrong side of the road — in fact, just about everything was wrong.” You tell ’em Mike.
3. _John, Did You Put The Cat Out?_.
A classic short regarding fire hazards at home. Bookended by John being harangued by his wife (in bed) for not remembering to put the cat out. In between, nearly burns the house down due to improbable combination of (a) smoldering cigarettes left in precariously perched ashtray, (b) overloaded electrical socket, (c) stroke of genius by panic-ridden John of throwing half-finished whisky on incipient fire and making the curtains catch alight, (d) second stroke of genius of throwing water on the electrical fire next to the telly. Cat likely moved out permanently later, or was accidentally left in the freezer or something.
4. _E.D.I.T.H._
A close second on fire safety. Every family should have an *E*vacuation *D*rill *I*n *T*he *H*ome worked out. Dad plans everything and informs the family about the drill at a family meeting. Dad gets to blow the whistle initiating the Drill. Only Dad gets to blow the whistle. Naturally, the house actually burns down shortly afterward. Do not jump from upstairs bedroom windows. Do not breathe in smoke. Do not blow the whistle unless you are Dad. I remember us pestering my father to work out an E.D.I.T.H. for us. He was skeptical.
5. _Big John_, or, _Oh, Me Achin’ Back_.
Work safety. All about Big John, who spent the day lifting stuff at work in a non-orthopedically wise manner. Set to C&W style music. “But he never gave a thought to his back booooone ….. Oooh, me achin’ back!” Worth it for the shot of Big John in traction at the end.
6. _Put it This Way_.
Put it this way … a list of the negative consequences of leaving lit cigarettes around the place. “Put it any way you like … but when you’re finished, Put It Out.” Not so interesting.
7. _Two Will Do_.
Early days of anti drink-driving campaigns. Each drink (whisky as I remember) is likened to loading a shell into a shotgun.
8. _Road Safety_.
Wear light-colored clothing and reflective armbands at night or die violently on the road. Also, put some lights on your bike. Contained disturbing (for a c. 7 year old) shot of person being hit head on by a car. Also contained disturbing (for anyone) but true sentence about Ireland: “In the Winter it can get dark as early as half past four.”
9. _Fire-proof nighties._
No, really. Always buy a nightie with this code on the label. I forget the code. I bet someone else remembers, though. The actress may later have played the Witch on _Fortycoats_ but I’m not sure.
10. _Rabies Kills — Agonizingly_.
Rabies Kills. Agonizingly. Look at this picture of a man foaming at the mouth, strapped to a hospital bed. Now look at this picture of a dog jumping off a boat onto a dock. Keep Rabies Out of Ireland you dirty foreigners.
11. _Yellow Box Guy._
A vain effort to teach Irish motorists about keeping junctions clear of traffic by not driving in the goddamn yellow box, starring underemployed council worker. Phrase “goddamn box” not actually used in original spot.
12. _Public Health._
“Noel Carroll can run 800 meters in …” some time or other. A lot faster than you, anyway. Also, someone else can swim faster than you and so on. You are fat. See, you are not fit enough to run up those steps. Or catch that bus. There it goes. Start exercising. Contained memorable, perfectly-composed shot of a couple in a restaurant above a tennis court. Down below, two people are energetically playing tennis. In the restaurant, the one table we see is filled with the remains of a gigantic Irish breakfast, and also several drinks, and an ashtray full of cigarettes. The guy on the left has an enormous pot belly, pattern baldness, bulbous eyes and thick, fleshy lips. He looks like a well-fed, Irish Gollum. He glances out the window with amused contempt. “That’s not for me at all,” he says. Fantastic.
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Fence 01.26.07 at 3:40 am
I only remember The Safe Cross Code, and the Rabies Kills, ads. The rest must have been before my time.
Donal Coffey 01.26.07 at 4:22 am
The classic is the ‘Phone Wreckers Are Idiots’ ad. It starred Bob Geldof and was set to the tune of Pink Floyd’s ‘Another Brick in the Wall’. The lyrics went something like:
We don’t need your stupid messing,
We all want to use that phone,
Smash that phone on the doorstep,
Hey! Stupid! Leave the phone alone.
I’m actually laughing remembering this.
Eimear Ní Mhéalóid 01.26.07 at 4:58 am
No. 11 also had someone calling the worker painting the road “Michelangelo”, hence many people used to refer to the yellow grids as Michelangelo boxes.
I seem to remember another road safety one showing how cars at a junction coming from opposite directions and both turning right should pass around each other instead of in front. Not very exciting but gave you a chance to annoy your parents by lecturing them in the car for not using the approved method.
Also a great drowning one but this might have been on a UK channel (we lived close enough to NI to pick up a signal). It showed various scenarios for a would-be rescue. Essentially the message was that if you just try and grab the person you’ll probably drown too but if you use a handy broken branch or your own coat to give them something to cling on to all will be well.
This is all very timely as there is a current radio campaign advising everyone to have a fire evacuation plan. No acronyms or whistles, though.
Maria 01.26.07 at 5:12 am
Lovely one, Kieran. Those ads have stayed with our cohort for life.
There was also a great one along the lines of the traffic box. Two cars coming fron opposite directions and each wants to turn right across the oncoming lane of traffic. So instead of having to wait for eachother, they do this kinky manouevre of sidling up close to eachother and turning about 45 degrees in such as they both can see oncoming traffic. And they both get a break in traffic at the same time, and manouevre off beautifully. It’s like ballet.
I think of it literally every time I’m turning right, and in twenty years I’ve never seen anyone do it.
I can’t look at a polyester nightie without thinking of it burning to a crisp and someone in it.
About every third time I stay at one friend’s house, we ask eachother in Dublin accents if we put the cat out.
But crossing the road we always falter after “One: look for a safe place. Two: don’t hurry, stop and wait. Three: look all around before you.. Four: uh…”
Maria 01.26.07 at 5:16 am
Oh and do you remember that sneaky one of a driver overtaking a parked van or bus when a child runs out in front of it?
Driver’s fault, of course – they would always ‘replay’ it and show the kid’s feet behind the van, and say the driver should have looked for this sure sign of a child about to launch himself into the road. But in the first shot there were never any feet. Infuriating!
dermot casey 01.26.07 at 5:54 am
Here are a few more
Vaccination – German measles and pregnancy – Warning about the risks if you get German measles (Rubella) while pregnant. The “deaf” baby in the ad was still giving me the creeps when my wife was pregnant
There were also ones about the dangers of electricity, farmers and overhead power lines was one, and another where a child climbs up an a pylon to recover a Frisbee (again dating the ad) frying himself in the process.
tadhgin 01.26.07 at 6:50 am
Also, there was one telling mums not to yack on the phone or their children would drown in the paddle pool, or farmers to talk to their friends or the kids would climb into 44 gallon drums used to store water and drown (there was a particularly affecting shor at the end of that one with a childs legs sticking out of the water barrel.
I can remember a cartoon where the family put the dog out only for him to join a feral pack of sheep killing mutts, only to come home later and snuggle up by the fire.
shane h 01.26.07 at 7:43 am
The animated ad imploring us to keep our dogs locked in at night? A seemingly harmless family dog turns into a bloodthirsty killer after dark. Joins a roving gang of similarly un-tethered dogs for a sheep-killing rampage. I can still picture the field full of sheep lying with their throats torn out. I think it left quite an impression on anyone who was young at the time!
shane h 01.26.07 at 7:44 am
Beaten to the punch!
Kieran Healy 01.26.07 at 7:47 am
Oh and do you remember that sneaky one of a driver overtaking a parked van or bus when a child runs out in front of it?
Oh yeah — “_Experience_ taught him this was going to happen.”
The “deaf†baby in the ad was still giving me the creeps when my wife was pregnant
How could I have forgotten this one? Shouting “BA! BA! BA!” at someone’s ear was a standard way of telling them they’d done something stupid.
a very public sociologist 01.26.07 at 8:31 am
Safe cross code?
I want to know which came first – this or Britain’s own Green Cross Code?
Darth Vader did our ads :)
P O'Neill 01.26.07 at 10:21 am
I think that there had to be one about safety boxes/U bars on tractors but I might be confusing that with the farmers and overhead wires referenced by #6.
dominic murphy 01.26.07 at 10:23 am
We had the rabies obsession in Britain, too. The general message conveyed by the media was that if you set foot in France you’d be dead of rabies before you got through customs.
Mark Waters 01.26.07 at 10:36 am
…we always falter after “One: look for a safe place. Two: don’t hurry, stop and wait. Three: look all around before you.. Four: uh…â€
Three look all around and listen
before you cross the road,
remember,
four, let all the traffic pass you
five, then walking straight across you
six, keep watching,
that’s the Safe Cross Code
know the Safe Cross Code
Know the Code!
harry b 01.26.07 at 11:50 am
come on — half of these must be on youtube. I want visuals.
Another Damned Medievalist 01.26.07 at 11:52 am
The last time (and the first time) I was in Dublin, I was amazed by the PSA in the cinema. It was a really harrowing several minutes on sexual abuse and rape — especially within the family — and emphasised that the victims not feel shame and that they should seek counseling, whether or not they had reported the crimes.
blogger maniac 01.26.07 at 12:06 pm
Nice Post. Keep up the good work.
I think that there had to be one about safety boxes/U bars on tractors but I might be confusing that with the farmers and overhead wires referenced by #6.
I can remember a cartoon where the family put the dog out only for him to join a feral pack of sheep killing mutts, only to come home later and snuggle up by the fire.
john burke 01.26.07 at 1:09 pm
There must have been one about seat belts too? I have a very vague memory but I don’t think it was in the same league as the classics listed above.
Kieran Healy 01.26.07 at 1:28 pm
come on— half of these must be on youtube. I want visuals.
I don’t think any of them are, alas. Not even the Safe Cross Code.
Mark 01.26.07 at 2:27 pm
This may be my imagination, especially since no-one else has mentioned it yet, but I seem to recall an effort to stop children from playing near slurry pits (for those of you who live in cities, these are exactly what you think they are.) I do remember what seemed to me as a ten year old to be an epidemic of children being drowned in them, but my memories may be of the news coverage rather than any PSA.
On the other hand I was buying a bag of rack-salt for my front steps last week and when picking it up in the store I could have sworn that I heard Big John saying “Ohh, me achin’ back …”!
Mark 01.26.07 at 2:29 pm
Err, sorry, “… rock-salt …”
fústar 01.26.07 at 3:08 pm
Marvellous stuff entirely.
A few additions off the top of my head:
1. The Safe Cross Code, with Judge.
The full lyrics are –
remember,
one, look for a safe place
two, don’t hurry, stop and wait,
three look all around and listen
before you cross the road,
remember,
four, let all the traffic pass you
five, then walking straight across you
six, keep watching,
that’s the safe cross code!
safe place, stop and wait
safe place, stop and wait
safe ground, look around,
listen for a traffic sound
if traffic’s coming let it pass
until the road is clear at last
then walking straight across the road
keep watching, that’s the code.
remember,
one, look for a safe place
two, don’t hurry, stop and wait,
three look all around and listen
before you cross the road,
remember,
four, let all the traffic pass you
five, then walking straight across you
six, keep watching,
that’s the safe cross code
that’s the safe cross code
know the safe cross code
know the code!!
A discussion of this took place after part 1 of my Eugene Lambert interview…which is how I ‘remember’ the words so clearly:
F̼star РEugene Lambert Interview
2. So You’re Off To School On Your Bike, narrated by Mike Murphy
My favourite part was when one of the cheeky young fellas slapped that guy round the earhole as he cycled past. The slapped guy got understandably upset and delivered a classic bit of monotone upsetnessity (to coin a phrase):
“Oi! After ‘im!”
or some such…
9. Fire-proof nighties
The key line in this was when the ma of the freckled, nightie-wearing daughter read out the code. It went something like:
“E3475…sounds like a robot, doesn’t it?”
Genius.
john m. 01.26.07 at 3:30 pm
Now I’m feeling simultaneously old for clearly remembering all this stuff (for example the rabies one jumped fully formed into my mind when I read your description) but proud that I made it this far, given the vast range of hazards I had to overcome growing up. It’s a wonder we survived at all..
eszter 01.26.07 at 4:37 pm
I’m shocked that none of these are on YouTube. If Hungarian ads from the 70s and 80s can make it on there, some of these must be available as well. Perhaps the search function isn’t good enough to locate them (or people aren’t labeling/tagging them well enough).
Nigel 01.26.07 at 5:08 pm
Those new-fangled motorways inspired one of the best:
If I had the only car in the world…
You could drive as ye like. But ye haven’t, and ye can’t.
Mark Waters 01.27.07 at 4:52 am
On You-tube? You must be joking. I”d say the originals don’t even exist anymore. Videotape was in short supply in those days so most likely all these have been taped over with episodes of Garda Patrol and Mart and Market.
Bonapart O Cunasa 01.28.07 at 7:19 pm
Wasn’t there one about the proper place to park your bicycle? I.e. don’t leave it lying on the ground in front of a bakery or the man carrying the tray of loaves will go flying etc…
paul 01.29.07 at 5:16 am
My favourite is the water safety ad, depicting a family, elderly grandparent in tow, enjoying a trip to a riverside park. All appears to be going well until we hear one of the children inquiring “Where’s Grandad?”.
Simultaneously chilling and hilarious.
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